Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Checking in

It's been a while.  I haven't had anything to say, which is a good thing, but now I have a few things I want to write about.

Charro is away, which is fine.  I'm supposed to not be eating "sticks" for breakfast for the next two weeks.  So far that hasn't really happened.  There is one issue though, I ran out of "sticks" and I can't seem to find them in the stores.  (All-Bran cereal).  I know I shouldn't go out and try to find them and buy them, because I'll eat them, but I want my sticks.  There's clearly something that scares me about not eating the fiber.

I went back to PT yesterday because my back was acting up.  I love my PT and think she's so good at what she does.  So I'm laying on the table and she's pressing her hands against my hips.  I was thinking, "I wonder what she is thinking.  Is she thinking that my hipbones are sticking out or is she thinking nothing of the sort and only trying to figure out if they're aligned correctly (which they're not).  Then I was still on the table, doing an exercise and she put her hand right on my stomach and I said something about my fat stomach.  Then she had her hands on my rib cage, yep, those are crooked too, and I wondered what she was thinking about my ribs too.  Yes, all very disordered thoughts going on there, but more curious to know if she was thinking anything about my weight,

I hung out with my friend over the weekend, who I rarely see.  She was our athletic trainer and I used to go BS with her while she was taping people up.  We did a lot of talking and she said to me, "I worried about you overexercising and not eating enough when you were in high school.  I said, "Well I did both of those things."  She goes, "You know that's an eating disorder, right?"  I said, "Ya, I know."  She's all over the place with conversations and we probably got interrupted by someone, so that was the end of the conversation.  I would like to talk to her more about it, but I don't know when I'll see her again.

I'm writing all of this stuff down so I remember it for when Charro gets back.  

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