Monday, April 25, 2016

Kicked out of the office

I woke up this morning and my eyes are all swollen.  I'm not sure if I have allergies or if I just have a cold.  My throat has been weird and my nose a bit stuffy/runny on and off for the past few days, but I've never had allergies before.  My eyes look awful right now though.

I did sleep because I had a few dreams, one being about Charro, of course.  I was in her office for a sesh and there was a treadmill right next to her chair.  I didn't notice it until it turned on by itself and I was like, "What's that noise?"  I looked and it was the treadmill and I said, "I'll get on it and turn it off," and she said, "No, I will."  So she got on it and started running.  All of a sudden she was wearing workout clothes.  She was in a sports bra and had a heart rate monitor strapped onto her, like one from the doctor.  I asked her what it was for and she said it was to figure out why she's getting hives.  It was suggested by an Australian doctor.  

She sat back down and we continued talking.  She told me she was going to look at me.  I wasn't quite sure what that meant.  Then she said that I had to plank and walk across the floor and she would feel my body.  She made a comment about how I was wearing really baggy clothes, which I was.  I had on fleece pajama pants and a huge sweatshirt.  She told me to stand up so she could examine me by looking at me to see my size.  Then there was this other guy in there, Ace from The Love Boat.  He was there to learn from Charro. She was his mentor.  Well, at one point he got up and started playing a keyboard and I got annoyed and got up and started dancing and then walked out.  My friend was out there so I ran and pulled her into another room to tell her what was going one, but Charro came out and found us.  When I walked back into the room she and Love Boat Ace were packing up their stuff.  I asked what happened and she said that she was kicked out of her office for being too loud.  She was upset about it.  I started packing up all of my stuff, which, for some reason, was draws of clothes.  I found a dried up lemon peel in one draw, that I apparently put in there to make it smell nice.  Pink's "Who Knew" came on the radio and I started singing, but I sounded bad because I had a cold.  Charro asked Ace to call some guy about finding her a new office and then she asked me if I wanted to go with them to find a new one.  I said sure and then I woke up.

Friday, April 22, 2016

WIF confusion

The weather here has been absolutely fantastic.  I'm going to attempt to run in the park today, we'll see how that goes.  I'm totally out of shape and will probably have to stop a bunch of times, which I'm not really okay with at all.  I think part of me is just scared that my head is going to start bothering me too, so I don't want to push myself too much.

Yesterday, Charro asked me if I had weighed myself.  I said no and then she said that we're going to have a surprise WIF.  I said, "It's not going to be a surprise at all."  She kept saying, "Yes it is."  She wasn't being clear because I never see her on Fridays, therefore we can not have a surprise Weigh-in Friday (WIF) because I would know that I would be going on a different day and to a different office.  She finally said, not WIF, but WIM or WIT.  I said, "Oh, okay."  

Anyway, she tried to weigh me in this office once before and it was a complete failure because there's carpeting and the scale doesn't work on carpet.  So, good luck trying to weigh me again in there.  She always says that she'll make me go into the bathroom or into the hall on the wood, but that is NOT going to happen.  That's a violation of my privacy to I won't let her do that to me. :)  I'm not really worried that she'll spring a scale on me anytime soon.  She says it but won't do it.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Number 2

I was discussing something during my sesh yesterday, probably something related to my head, and Charro asked me if I went to the gym in the morning.  I told her that I went but was only there for 20 minutes because my head felt weird.  I then added that I also had to go to the bathroom so I left.  She goes, "You won't go to the bathroom there?"  I said, "No."  She goes, "Number 2."  (She clearly has children to say that).  I said, "Yes.  I won't go there, would you?"  It just came out of my mouth and as soon as I asked the question I thought, she'll never answer that, it just came out.  She goes, "No, but I have a problem doing that in public bathrooms."  I said, "I get it.  I do too."  I was just shocked that she actually responded to me.  It's not like anything huge, but still, I wouldn't expect her to delve into that with me.

My back and shoulders are killing me from carrying my backpack around everywhere.  I'm in desperate need of a massage.  I could also use a nap. :)

Oh, I had a dream the other night that I was waiting to go into my sesh and Charro came out and she was wearing "mom jeans."  One of my friends was there and I was trying to get her to look without being too obvious about it.  I think I was able to whisper that Charro was wearing "mom jeans."  Ha.

Thursday, April 07, 2016

9 years

Yesterday was my 9 year anniversary with Charro.  I remember the first day I went to see her, saying that I was so nervous is quite an understatement.  I was shaking like crazy!!  I've come a long way. There's still room for improvement, but that's okay.  

To celebrate our time together, I wrote this poem while I was on the train.  I think she was expecting some baked treats, but she got this instead.  All of it is true, except for the 45 offices thing, and a lot of it probably won't make sense to anyone.  Without further adieu...


The past 9 years have been so great.
Off and on we've talked about weight.
103 is where you need to be, said Charro B, so sternly.



I've turned corners with my tan.  You showed up with yellow hands. 
I sang songs not on YouTube, and accidentally flashed you my boob.


You wore red, purple and gold.
I think that was pretty bold.

We had lots of WIFs and WIFs

Many times I got pissed at you.

You even smacked me right in the face,
for turning around to check my weight.

You don't like to be the police.
I brought pizza, but just one piece.


In my FFJs you wrote Geez in a box.
I kept food logs and wore crazy socks.

You've had 45 different offices.
and tried to get rid of all my devices.

I've been on Merry-go-rounds and on and off buses.
It doesn't take coke for you to say lots of cusses.

You've pulled out your scissors and cut your hair.
The look on my face was that of despair.

I've almost been fired on several occasions.
You wear jeans when you go on vacations.

There was the TF and TFT.
I don't miss going to 51st street.

There were smokers outside of 12th.
That was not really good for our health.

I told Pedro I wanted to help decorate his tree
That's when he turned a little creepy.

Now we have stupid Eataly.
Where I often go to get water and pee.


I'm still shifty and discuss my hamthighs.
When you mention Joel, I let out a big sigh.

At least I have the urge to throw a lot less.
That's a good thing, 'cause it's kind of a mess.

A bird crapped on my head and you didn't care.
You wouldn't even help me get it out of my hair.

You weighed me in the hall and that was the worst.
You say I drink too much water, but it's just my thirst.


So many memories after 9 years.
You'd really be happy if I'd shed some tears.

If we have 9 more, we'll really be old.
In the summer the office is brutally cold.

So this concludes my little trip down memory road
I'm sure I forgot stuff, there was quite a load.

So happy 9 years, is that a good thing?
March 20th was the first day of Spring.

The early buzzer

A new lady is now seeing Charro after me on Thursdays.  I think she's only been coming for a few weeks but she's driving me insane.  Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but she bugs me a little.  She ALWAYS buzzes Charro really early.  Last week she buzzed her 10 minutes after I got there.  The first time she was there she buzzed her early and knocked on her door while I was in there.  Today she buzzed literally 2 minutes after I got in there.  There's a Starbucks right on her street corner, GO SIT IN THERE!!!  PLEASE!!  Today she buzzed twice too, so the phone rang two different times.  It's really distracting.  I usually arrive 10 minutes early, so if there is someone in there before me, they're winding down.  I just like to make sure that I'm on time and have time to go to the bathroom.  If I get there too early, I either hang out in the park or stand in the hall downstairs for a few minutes before heading up.  Please stop getting there early, lady!

Oh, Charro's going to Italy for 3 weeks this summer.  I like when she goes in the summer because then I can spend a little more time at home and in my pool!  My family will be visiting during one of those weeks too, so that will be nice.


Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Hit by a bike

So I was on my way to Charro yesterday and I was crossing the street and I got hit by a biker.  Yep.  I'm fine but I wasn't thrilled by the situation.  So if you know NYC, all the streets are one way.  I looked to the left to cross the street, because that's the direction the traffic would have been coming from if they had a green light, and then boom.  I didn't know what hit me, literally.  I had my umbrella up, and it's not small, so I don't know how the guy didn't see me.  I was coming off of the sidewalk and had to walk in front of a car, but he was going the wrong way!  He was very apologetic and nice about it but he was going the wrong way and I let him know that.  He said, "I didn't see you."  I said, "You were going the wrong way!!"  He said, "I know, it's my fault."  So he was cool about it and LUCKILY I did not get hurt or knocked to the ground.  I can't afford another head injury.

I told Charro when I got there and she thought I said that I got hit by a bus.  I said, "No, a bike!"

I have no idea what to have for dinner.  I'm making some squash but I need something else.  Eggs maybe?  How boring.

Friday, April 01, 2016

Looking back

I guess it's time to take down my Easter decorations...all 4 of them.  I was away and unpacking awaits me.

I was thinking about my high school years.  I really just didn't eat.  People had to have known, but who knows.  I don't know.  I brought lettuce for lunch.  I have away other food that my mom packed for me.  I know my chorus teacher was onto me, but I don't think anyone else was.  Oh, my friend's mom who is a psychologist and my friend (her daughter) but that was about it, as far as I know.  Was I even skinny?  I don't know.  I played sports so I was doing that every day after school.  I worked out when I wasn't playing sports.  

My mom and I went shopping with my friend and her mom (the psych) and apparently her mom said something about my hip bones sticking out.  Of course, I loved that comment, when I found out about it.

I remember having stomach pains every day before practice, probably because I was starving.  I'd eat an apple, but that didn't help.  I don't know what Charro would have done with me if I went to see her when I was in high school.  Okay, she was in college then, but still, if she was practicing I wonder if she would have sent me somewhere.  That's something I'll never know.

That's all the reminiscing I have for now.  I have to do some work.