Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Dreaming, not California dreaming

I haven't had an ED dream in a while, but I had one last night.

I was going to see Charro at a different time than usual.  I think I was seeing her around 1 or 2 pm and I was coming from having lunch with some friends.  I go up the stairs and open the door to her waiting room, which looked more like the DMV.  There were so many people in there and it was loud.  Everyone was talking to each other.  There were three levels, like one step up each, of the room.  I walked into the room and saw one person I knew very well but hadn't talked to in a while.  As I was walking up to be near the office, I heard a few girls calling my name.  I tried to ignore them but they ran over and hugged me.  They asked what I was doing there and I lied and said that I was popping in to see a friend who works there.

Charro walked out and gestured with her hands for me to come in.  I walked in with her and this other lady and tried to make it look like we were friends rather than her my therapist, because I knew people were watching.  I walk in to round tables and one lady tells me to sit down.  At my table was my friend H, she's so anorexic it's not even funny and I'm not quite sure how no one says anything to her. (That's her in real life.  She's 50 years old and looks like a skeleton.  My parents run into her now and then and always comment to me about how horrible she looks.  She lives in the town I'm from).  She then moved to the table next to me.  She was wearing a black pants suit with a v-neck blazer.  

At my table was 4 therapist/doctor people and two other disordered people.  Some lady sat next to me and they started bringing out food.  I was freaking out because I had just eaten and I had to now eat again and I didn't even know I was coming here to eat this huge meal.  People started eating and the therapist lady next to me said, "Go ahead and start eating."  I told her that I was waiting for Charro to sit down.  I didn't want to be rude.  So, Charro finally sat down and I started eating this thing that looked like a tamale.  It had black beans in it and a strange texture.  I was drinking my water.  They had a ton of food on the table, but stuff I didn't eat, like meat and fish.  I went to go take a sip of my water and it was gone, it was replaced with sour tasting chocolate milk in a bluish wine glass.  I took a sip and said, "This tastes sour."  They didn't care.  


I remember thinking that I didn't want my friend H to see me eating this food because she would think it was so disgusting and that I was going to get huge.  I guess she had to eat it too, since she was in there, but she just kept looking over at my table. 


Then I woke up.  Charro will love this dream.  

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