Friday, October 09, 2015

4000th

I don't write much on here anymore.  I guess I don't have much to say about my ED, which is a good thing.  I'm still pissed that Charro thought I was faking my stomach bug.  She didn't think I was faking it so much, as I was riding it out, which was not the case at all.  I'm feeling all better now and eating.  I have to send her pictures of my meals though.

This might be my 4000th post.  I'm not sure, but I think it is.  That's nuts.

I'm sitting next to my little guy, who is not doing so well.  He's taking a bad turn over the past month and this week has started getting worse.  His kidneys are failing.  I can smell that his breath is getting worse too.  It stinks.  He is peeing outside of the litter box and doesn't move much at all, except to get a drink or go to his litter box.  His breath is really stinky, he just licked himself and I got a whiff of it.  It's gross.  He's wasting away and has no leg muscles and wobbles when he walks.  It's extremely sad.  He's still eating and grooming though.  My vet says that it's "not time" yet, but I think that time is getting closer.  I have to go away for work in a week and I will be leaving him with my parents.  Part of me hopes that something happens before then, so I don't have to worry about him while I'm gone.  I also feel bad leaving that responsibility with my parents.  He's on a lot of medications and I'm worried he'll pee in their house too.  It's so sad.  He's laying next to me and I just watch him all day.  I hate when I have to leave him.  I've had him for 18 1/2 years and he's been such a good boy.  I know I've been a wonderful cat mom.  Everyone tells me that.  I've been giving him fluids for 5 years, which has helped keep him alive, but now his kidneys have had enough, I think.  It's so hard to see him like this, but I know he's not ready to die just yet.  I couldn't do that to him right now because he's not there yet.  I feel like that would be cruel.

That's pretty much what I've been dealing with as of late.  Not sleeping much and just loving my time with him while I can.  

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