Friday, July 31, 2015

The stabbing

There was a stabbing in Charro's suite the other day.  A psych patient stabbed a doctor.  The doctor will be okay.  The guy then ran out of the building and down the street slashing tires before he was caught.  He was then taken for a psych eval.  Hmm, if he's already part of a psych program, I think we already know he has mental problems.  Lucky for me, this is probably my last day going to that building because Charro (and all of the other therapists there) aren't allowed to see people who are not in the program.  I'm kind of glad for that now, after this incident.  Let's be honest, there's more of a chance of something like this happening when you have a large amount of mentally ill people in one spot.

Ironically, I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment across the hall that morning, but they canceled it the night before.  Crazy.

The other good thing about not going to this building anymore is no more WIF. :)  She told me she'll have to figure out a way to weigh me on Mondays, but there is carpeting in her office and I told her that I will not go out in the hall where people will see me.  She wants to do it in the bathroom.  I'm like, "I'm not going into the bathroom with you so people can see us both walk out of there with you having a scale in  your hand."  No way!  Anyway, if I don't make weight today, I'm done for a while.  We'll see what happens.

In other news, my doctor, who I absolutely love, is moving to Florida.  I'm so sad.  I asked her if she'd go stand up paddle boarding with me when I go down there and she said that she would.  She gave me a big hug when she said goodbye too.  I'm so sad.  I love her.

Friday, July 24, 2015


Charro said I make her feel incompetent.  We were discussing the breakfasts I had while I was away with my family and she was mad that I considered a yogurt breakfast and that I didn't order something when I went out to eat with my family.  

So here's what happened.  I had a yogurt, went for a run, and then went to breakfast with my parent and nephew.  I wasn't hungry so I didn't order anything, since I had just eaten a yogurt like 90 minutes before that.  I ate half of my mom's pancake, but that was not satisfactory with Charro.  That when she said that I "make her feel incompetent."  Oh well.  She's not, maybe I am.

I think I need to turn my AC on.  It's not humid here at all, but it's currently 84 degrees in my apartment, which is not good sleeping conditions, obviously.

Oh ya, WIF, I failed it again.  She's giving me until next Friday and then if I'm not up, we're done for a while.  She always says this.  We'll see what happens.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Exercise bulimia

Yesterday Charro threw out there that I have exercise bulimia.  Okay, I wouldn't completely agree with that one, but whatever, she's the professional.  I wonder if she thinks I work out a lot more than I actually do, or if I underestimate things.  I think it might be a little of both, to be honest with you.  I definitely do not work out all that much, but I do walk a lot.  

Charro said how I "have to be up" on Friday for WIF.  Not sure how this is going to go and I don't have a scale to weigh myself on this week to find out what I'm hovering around.  Oh, maybe the gym at my hotel will have a scale.  (I'm going away for a few days).

I'm going to beach it for a few days.  I can't wait!!  Bring on the surf baby!

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Frappe

So Charro followed through and got me a caramel frappuccino.   I was not thrilled.  I was even less thrilled when she made me eat a vanilla scone with it.  Oh ya, the frappe had whipped cream on it too.  Shoot me!  I didn't finish it during our sesh, but finally did when I left.  Blah!  So, I NEVER have caffeine but I made her get my drink with caffeine because I figured it might help me burn more calories than the decaf.  Anyway, I think I was talking 500 mph by the end of our sesh.  My head felt weird for 6 hours after that too, which I'm pretty sure had nothing to do with my run there, but rather the caffeine.  I think I gained 50 pounds from it.

So here's my dilemma...I'll get weighed on Friday, and if I'm not up, I'm not really sure what will happen, but I don't think it's going to be good, but I go to the doctor the following Tuesday for a physical and I do not want to weigh more than 98 lbs when I go there.  I have to be 104 on Friday and 98 four days later.  Hmm, we'll see how that goes.  I definitely do not want to weigh more than 100 when I go to the doctor.  I wonder if she's going to ask me anything about my ED, since I told her about it last year, or if she won't even remember.  Should be interesting.  We'll have some concussion stuff to discuss, but not much else.

Charro was on vacation the rest of the week so I did not see her this morning.  I'll see her on Monday and then I go away for a few days and then I'll see her on Friday.

I need to go to the fruit man and to the grocery store but I don't feel like it so I probably won't go.  Oh well, there's always tomorrow. 

Friday, July 10, 2015

Hallway WIF

WIF was a complete nightmare today.  They moved somethings around in Charro's office, and she was not happy about it because the scale was one of the things that got moved.  Anyway, I got on and she made me get off while she moved it and did something else to it.  She made me get back on and she didn't think it was right so she was like, "Come with me."  I shook my head no and was like, "I'm not going out there."  We walked down the hall and there was a scale right out in the middle of the hall.  There was a man standing next to it, getting coffee or something, and then other people, patients, I think, walking by.  It was right by a room so I sort of stepped into the room and looked at her and was like, "I'm not getting on that."  I was NOT happy about this, to say the least.  I didn't want everyone to see me getting weighed.  I don't care about the number, I just don't want people to see me there period, never mind getting weighed.  So, I got on and it seemed like it took a while for her to get my weight.  I got off and turned right around and started walking back to her office.  I looked at her and said, "I'm going to kill you right now.  That was not cool."  We got into her office and she goes, "Do you hate me?"  I said, "Yes, that was so not cool and not okay."  She tried to explain to me that that's the scale that everyone uses and it's not for ED people, just for everyone in the program.  Then she went on to say how substance abuse used it, which backfired because then she had to explain that people aren't going to think I have a substance abuse problem now.  Whatever, none of it was okay and that is NEVER happening again, that's for sure!!!  She's not going to hear the end of it from me on Monday.

Speaking of Monday, I'm seeing her in the morning and she's bringing the stupid latte (or something) with whipped cream (NO thanks) and then proceeds to tell me that she will bring me a little something to eat with it as well.  Um, NO thanks!  No need for food when I'm having this huge caloric beverage.  Yuck.  Maybe she'll forget, but I've gotten off so many times with this that I think it's actually going to happen this time.  :(

Monday, July 06, 2015

Date invite at Charro's

It's been a strange day.  I was on my way to Charro's and I saw this woman who I saw on the subway yesterday.  I was on a train I never ride and I saw this woman with her son.  I noticed her because her arms were nice and toned, then I saw the skull tattoo on her arm.  That was it, I went on my way.  So today I'm walking to Charro's, in a different part of town, and I see her crossing the street.  HOW WEIRD!!  Okay, really, it is so weird.

I get to Charro and have my sesh.  My bra strap fell down and she commented on how I was wearing a blue bra.  Um, ok, that was odd and I don't remember what she said but it was funny.  Then she said, "Not that I'm checking out your bra."  She then said how hard it is to find navy blue.  Well, not when you don't have big boobs it's not.  

We talked about my WIF jeans, at the very end of my sesh, and she said something about how I shouldn't have let the cat out of the bag on that one, but I did and that's what I'm supposed to do.  She said, "From now on, No WIF jeans, keys in your pocket, or belts on WIF.  I said, "I have to wear belts or my pants will fall down.  She said, "Then buy smaller pants."

I'm going to have some time to kill on Friday.  I wasn't supposed to see her on Friday but now she's around so I'll see her at 9 AM and then I have a doctor's appointment in that building at 1 PM.  I'll have 3 hours to kill.  I guess I can go get lunch somewhere close by, but that's a touristy area so there's nothing good and cheap.  I'll figure it out.  I'm going to see if I can change my 1 PM and make it earlier, but I'm guessing that I won't be able to.

I left Charro and went out to the elevator.  I put on my Fitbit and thought I heard her coming, but it wasn't her, it was an old man.  We got on the elevator together and when we got off he said to me, "May I take you to lunch?"  UM, NO!  I said, "No thank you, I already ate."  Then I asked him what he was going to eat and he said fish.  I said, "Good thing I said no because I don't eat fish.  Have a good day."  I emailed Charro right away to tell her because I knew she'd find that funny and she responded with, "Oh no.  I saw him, he's a little off."

Friday, July 03, 2015

I had a dream I was really late to my sesh with Charro.  I was hanging out with one of my friends at her apartment and then I realized I had to leave.  We went to the subway but the subway wasn't coming and a different line was one the track, and I couldn't take that one.  It was chaos in the subway station because there were subway tracks everywhere and I was trying to cross them to get to the right train.  By the time I finally got to Charro's it was 7:30 and I was supposed to be there at 6 PM.  I walked in and another one of my friend's was in the lobby packing up her stuff.  She was wearing her scrubs.  I asked her what she was doing there, and right after I asked I thought how stupid that question was.  She paused and said, "I was meeting with Charro."  I said, "That's who I'm here to see."  Oh ya, on my way in I found wads of money, like a ton of it.  I picked it up and I didn't know what to do with it.  It was wrapped in an elastic band.  Anyway, Charro comes out of her office and there were now a couple of other people in the room and she said she was running a group, if I wanted to come in.  She asked what happened to me and I apologized for being late and we stepped into her office for a minute.  I asked her if she wanted me to come back and she said yes.  I must have started talking with my friend who was there because Charro came out when she was done and we all started talking.  We all walked out together and we had to walk through what looked like someones dining room.  She said, "Robin, this is (I don't know how she referred to me but she introduced me to Robin).  (Side note:  Charro's second office she shared with this woman named Robin).  She totally knew who I was, which meant that Charro talked to her about me.  We then continued on out, down the elevator and out the door.  We were discussing the money and what to do with it when we realized it was fake.  When we walked out the door there was another wad of the fake bills.  We kept on walking towards transportation.  My friend, who was now an old friend from growing up was with me and she hopped in a cab.  I guess we were taking a cab so I hopped on in too.  Charro went the other way.  Oh ya, I had a big backpack with me too.

Weird dreams

I need to go for a run but I don't feel like it.  Oh well, it is what it is.  Must do it.

Thursday, July 02, 2015

Forgot the scale

Charro forgot to bring her scale yesterday, which made me happy.  She also told me that she can't do next Friday and then she'll be away the following Friday, so that means I will not be weighed by her in over a month.  That makes me really happy. :)  It's all so stupid.  I refuse to gain weight, so why can't she just accept that and move on?

I wrong a song about entitled "I Wear WIF Jeans," to the tune of "I've Got Sunshine."  I half sang it for her yesterday.  One of the lines is how I wear WIF jeans (My heavily studded jeans that I wear on Weigh in Friday) to make sure I'm 103.  So, of course that became a heated discussion about how I'm trying to fool her into thinking I weigh more, which is not untrue, but I also make weight when I'm NOT wearing those jeans, so it's not entirely true either.  Of course this all happened with 2 minutes left in my sesh, so we didn't get very far.   I think she's over it all, but I kind of am too.  

I'm also kind of annoyed that she just told me that she won't be here next Friday.  She was out sick last Friday.  I guess I really don't care since that's WIF, but still, and then she's gone the following Friday.  Whatever.

I feel like I have bugs crawling in my hair because I was just out working on my plants.  I'd like the sun to come out.  I planted some seeds from a pepper the other day and I'd like to see if they're actually going to grow.  My mom will be so happy because they're her favorite peppers.

I think I'll eat lunch now, even though it's only 11:12 AM.