Monday, March 10, 2014

Better talking

I had a good sesh with Charro today.  I guess it was more intense the our usual seshes, but I guess that's good.  I mean, there were some interesting things, like when she was drinking her "green juice" and thought there was something weird in there.  She kept making weird faces and looking in the container.  I told her to pour it into her coffee cup, which she did, and she didn't see anything.  All was okay, on her end, after that.  I said, "It makes me feel better that you have issues."

We talked about my high school years and how I wondered what would have happened if someone noticed that I had an ED.  We talked about my hamthighs.  That was a long conversation.  I asked her how she thought I was doing, and of course she turned the question back at me.  I said, "I'm asking you.  I want to know how you think I'm doing."  She said, "okay."  She went on to talk about something they do with alcoholics now, where they don't stop drinking, they just make their drinking less of a problem.  She said that's where she thinks I am.  She doesn't think that's a great place to be, but better than where I was.  She said that she thinks my head is too foggy (she use that word) to get to the "deeper stuff that we never get to."  She's like, "You never go there."  I'll have to figure out exactly what she said when I listen to the sesh.

Anyway, I left there in one of those moods where I just wanted to come home and think about stuff and write and write her an email, but I didn't have time to reflect on stuff because I had to get back to work.  Maybe stuff will come back to me when I listen to the sesh.

That's about it.  I guess I'll eat dinner at some point.  Oh, I'm pretty sure she's going to weigh my on Friday. She asked if I had gained the weight that I had lost back and I said, "I don't know" and she said, "I'll take care of that.  You don't have to worry about it."  So, hence why I think she's going to weigh me.

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