Friday, August 30, 2013

Flip flop weigh in

I weighed my flip flops at the gym last night.  They give me an extra pound, which is good.

So I had to cancel this date I had for tonight.  Long story that I won't get into, but basically Charro was like, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but you need to text him by noon and then email me and let me know that you did it."  She wanted me to get my phone out right then and there and text him, but I wouldn't do it.  She saw how I reacted and she wants to talk about that more "in depthly" next week because "there seems to be a lot to unpack."

Unfortunately I won't see Charro until next Friday, so things will have to wait until then.  I'm hungry, maybe because it's 3 PM and I haven't eaten lunch yet.  Hmm.  I guess I should get on that.  

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Not as planned

I stopped at two places to try and get dinner on my way home from the gym tonight but wasn't very successful.  The first place I went to I had planned on getting a sandwich, but I couldn't see spending 8 dollars on a little sandwich that would cost me 2 dollars to make.  Scratch that.  I went to another place hoping to find these "box lunch" things they have but they only had one left and it had meat in it.  I searched around the place to see what I could get and came up with a big piece of bruschetta.  Geez in a freaking box, I already know how Charro is going to react to this one.  First of all, how the hell can you pick out food when you're not even hungry??  Of course now I'm hungry and I'm waiting to head up to babysit.  I could order food, but I don't feel like it because I still don't know what I want.  Oh yeah, and I'm supposed to eat ice cream after dinner too, but where am I going to find that??  I'll just tell Charro that dinner was a disaster when she asks me tomorrow.

4 Hours til dinner

Dinner if 4 hours away and I have no idea what I'm going to do for it.  I didn't make anything.  I have to leave in 40 minutes to teach aerobics and then I have to rush back to babysit.  I have time to shower, and that's about it.  I don't even really have time to stop somewhere to get something, not that I want to spend money on food.  I feel like I've just spent so much money of stuff, like re-certifications, a computer, train tickets, etc.  Stuff I needed to get, not necessarily wanted to.  Babysitting is a good thing.  Once I start babysitting for my regular people, which should be in a week or two, I can pay for my computer in 4 times.  Yay.  I'll make $50 tonight, which isn't bad, especially for 2 hours and having to just go upstairs.

I'm having a hot flash.  Okay, it's gone.

Charro tomorrow.  Will she WIF me??  I'm going to guess no, but I guess ya never know.  I feel fat and out of shape.  I don't like it at all.  Maybe I will get some good workouts in now that pre-season is over.  I just don't like not being skinny and I don't feel skinny at all.  I want to be bony and strong.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Dinner at 10, no way!

Here's what came out of my sesh with Charro today...She said I have to eat dinner after 9 PM before I see her on Friday.  What?  Who the hell eats dinner that late.  At first she said 10 PM and I just gave her a look and said, "That is never going to happen."  Let's be honest, 9 PM really isn't going to happen either.  She said it has to be a "big" dinner and then used her hands to show me the size of the plate.  I said, "So like veggie stirfry."  She goes, "With rice?"  I said, "No noodles."  She said that that was okay and then she asked what my protein source was.  Before I could answer she said, "Ice cream."  I don't even know if I responded to that, but does she think I'm going to go out and buy ice cream??  Seriously.  I don't think so.  This is not making me too happy.  She also said my eating seems to be very disordered, or something like that.  At least she didn't weigh me.  I don't know when she's going to pull this random weigh-in crap but I'm sick of not knowing when it's going to happen and the one time I'm not ready for it is the time it happens.  Ugh.

I told Charro about my former player who I saw there on Friday.  She said she knows who it is.  Then she said, "She's been coming here for a while and this is the first time you see her so you probably won't run into her all of the time."  Then she said, "There are a lot of doctors in here, she could think you were coming from dentistry."  I said, "Not if I see her every Friday and what if I see her in HERE?!"  She said, "Well, the group starts at 10 that she goes to so you can just go hang out somewhere down the hall the other way until 10:10 so you don't see her.  Ugh, I really don't need to worry about seeing her every Friday now.  That would not be cool.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Three reasons

I wanted to throw up for several reasons tonight.  First, because I felt huge, even though I know I ate a healthy dinner and not a large amount of food.  I haven't felt like that in a long time and I didn't feel overly full either, which makes it even stranger.  The second reason was because someone was cutting their nails on the train...NOT okay!  The third reason was because I spotted the man next to me, after hearing someone cut their nails, who had longer nails than I have, and mine are pretty long.  He needs to borrow that other person's clippers.  JUST GROSS.

I need to go to bed soon.  I have to get up and run, go to practice, go to Charro, go play field hockey, if we have enough people, shower and go to bed.  I can't decide if I should run outside or inside.  Oh yeah, I decided on inside because I don't want to go to the park twice tomorrow.  Hopefully hockey won't get canceled.

I bought new treats for my cat.  He seems to like them.

I had a dream Charro and I did our sesh outside, walking.  I was a much better talking while we were walking and I said, "See how much better I talk when we're walking?"  I think it would actually be true because we wouldn't be sitting face to face.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Just some cheese

I lucked out, I didn't have to eat dinner at my friend's last night.  Here's the deal, they asked me to join them for dinner and a movie.  I opted out of the movie because I'm not a huge fan and told them I'd join them for dinner.  Well, I didn't know they were going to the movies first.  Anyway, dinner ended up being at 9:30 PM (who can wait that long to eat?) and one of the girls cooked.  I met them at her apartment and she started cooking at 9:30 PM.  I was not hungry so I was going to have to eat to be polite, but then she asked me if I ate squid and I said no.  She offered to make me plain spaghetti but I said, "That's okay, don't worry about me. Seriously."  So I didn't have to eat.  She put out some cheese so I ate a little of that and called it a night.  Yay for me.  I did have food around 6:30 PM, so it's not like I didn't eat.

I went for a little 30 minute run this morning and then am going to play field hockey later.  The roof is calling my name...and a nap is too.  I hope I don't have an annoying lady next to me, like I did yesterday, who was speaking half English and have Hebrew on the phone for over two hours.  Please pick one language and stick with it.  A lot of Hispanic people work at my gym and I think it's so funny when they're switch from English to Spanish mid sentence.  Not so funny when you're on the roof, trying to relax, and people talk on the phone the whole time.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

A scale would help

You know what would help me right now?  A scale...but only if it didn't say that I've gained weight.  I don't know what this day of a mini freakout is about but tomorrow will hopefully be better.  I'll run in the morning and play field hockey for 2 hours in the afternoon.  Gotta run.  I keep trying to tell myself that it's okay that I gave my body a break, but it's not really working.

Maybe a freak out soon

There may be a freak out in my near future.  I went to teach aerobics today and no one showed up, which was fine because I thought, hey, I'll go for a run when I get back and get my sneakers on.  Well, I don't want to go for a run right now and I may be out later.  If I'm out, I'll just tell her I have to be back because I'm meeting up with other friends, which is not a lie, it's just not happening until later later.  Ugh, I don't want to go running but I have to.  I haven't done much physical activity at all this week.  I was completely exhausted from coaching and standing in the sun for 6 hours every day but yesterday, but that's not working out.  I skipped the gym on Monday because I was beat from an intense field hockey game and 90 minutes of tennis on Sunday.  Tuesday I worked out, but only for 40 minutes.  Wednesday I went for a run that doesn't even count.  Thursday I taught class and Friday I walked 4 miles, which doesn't count.  Today I walked the 2 miles to class and back so that definitely doesn't count.  My other option is to run tomorrow morning and then go play field hockey, which may happen...will happen if I don't do it later for some reason.  I can't take it.  I wish I had my stupid scale here so I could see if I was gaining weight.  I should have weighed myself at the gym but I didn't.  I'll be home Monday and can weigh myself then.

Right now I'm going to bring my Buddha belly up to the roof and work on my tan so I can at least look a little thinner or more toned or something.

No Title Saturday

I need to put some lotion on.

I had a dream that Charro was at my house to have a sesh.  She showed up with two other people, I'm not sure what their jobs were but they were there to help run the sesh with her.  We were standing in my garage and my mom came out, so I made them all hide in the garage.  My mom saw them and asked me if I always work with so many people.  I said, "No, it's usually just Charro."  She said, "You know, I had the same issues when I was younger."  I was shocked and couldn't wait to run back and tell Charro.  (In real life, my mom did not).  So I went back to Charro and we started having a sesh.  I don't really remember what happened after that because next thing I knew, I was swimming in a pool with people and Charro was no longer there.  Same dream or different dream, I don't know.

Today I'm going to enjoy the roof after I work out.  I may meet up with one friend later and then having dinner with some others tonight.

I need to brush my teeth.  I need to try and fatten my cat up, which I'm not really sure I can do and I'm not sure it's possible.  He needs to put on a pound or two.

I can't wait to nap on the roof.  I got new sneakers yesterday and I can't wait to run in them.  Yay. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Running into people

Sometimes I'm pretty good at running into people and I seem to be on a streak.  Last night, I was in a rush to get home because I had to be somewhere, and I ran into two people who I know who I stopped to speak with, then I ran into a third, who lives in my building who I pretended not to see because I didn't have time to stop.  I don't think he saw me.  This morning I ran into one of my ex-players...in Charro's building.  UGH.  It's a medical building so there are a bunch of different types of doctors there, but I'm pretty sure she was going to the psych department for a 10 AM group.  Why do I think this?  Well, she's bipolar and is very open about seeing therapists and stuff, and was even in a magazine talking about her bipolar.  This is just awesome because now there is the possibility that I will see her every Friday.  Not okay.  She didn't know where I was coming from because we saw each other in the hall, and we spoke, but what if she sees me coming out of the psych department?  She'd figure it out anyway, if we keep seeing each other in the hall because no one goes to the dentist of the obgyn every week.  Blah.

I'm thirsty.

Charro didn't weigh me again.  This is so unusual and I'm not sure what to make of it.  I'm in that office twice next week so she has the chance to do it on Wednesday, which is her favorite day to weigh me, or Friday.  I bet we have WIW, which would suck because I won't have proper attire on for that.  She'll be like "You lost a lot of weight" and then I'll be screwed.  I'll pray for no WIW.

I'm still thirsty.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Zucchini

I just made bbq zucchini for dinner.  Okay, maybe that's not "dinner" but I'm sure I'll eat something after class tonight.  I need to go buy yogurt so I can eat that.  I can always make egg whites too, because those are really fun and exciting.

I'll weigh myself at the gym when I get there and I'm sure I'll weigh 900 pounds.  I have a feeling Charro's going to weigh me tomorrow, although I've been saying that for the past 3 weeks and it hasn't happened yet.  We'll see.  I don't want to mention anything about scales while I'm in that office because then she might get the idea to weigh me, and I don't want that.

I have to go take care of two cute fluffballs in a few minutes.  I love them.  They weigh so much compared to both of my cats.  My little squish wasn't even 6 pounds.  I miss her.  I think the little guy misses her too. :(  He has stinky breath.  He took a little nap with me on the couch before.  It was quite cute.  He was all curled up next to me.

I hate cramps and I'm going to have them soon.  They suck.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Feeling guilty

I was supposed to play field hockey tonight and I bagged out because I am beat.  I feel horrible.  Of course, they had issues with the field the one night I decide not to go.  

I feel guilty for not going for the girls and I feel guilt for not going for the exercise.  I should have gone.  Oh well, nothing I can do about it now I guess.  I'll probably be fast asleep in an hour anyway.

I wish I had my scale so I could weigh myself and know how much I weigh.  Oh, I can weigh myself at the gym tomorrow. :)

Funny questions

I was buying fruit and carrying my field hockey stick.  This old woman says to me, "Are you a football player?"  I said, "No, field hockey."  I thought it was funny though.  Um, let's start with the fact that I'm 5 feet tall, under 100 pounds, carrying a field hockey stick and female.  

I'm exhausted.  I'm supposed to play (and run) field hockey tonight.  My feet want to be free of all shoes.  I just soaked them in a cold, with ice, bath.  That felt good.  I might need to do that tonight, after hockey, if I play, which I'm sure I will do.  I just don't want to have to walk to the park, that's my biggest issue.  I think I need a nap...and a personal chef and massage person.

My cat is staring at me.  I should go give him some love, as a nap on the floor.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Water bottle death

I left my water bottle at Bath and Body Works last night before I saw Charro.  I was sad.  I got to Charro's and realized, "Crap, I don't have my water bottle."  I tried calling the store but no one answered.  I went back there after my sesh but no one had seen it.  Who would take someone's water bottle?  That's just gross.

Ugh, my cat is drinking my water out of my glass right now.  I guess I'm done with that.

I need to go to the gym soon.  Yesterday I did no physical activity.  My legs were tired and my feet were killing me.  I guess I should get ready to actually work out.

I need to buy a scale!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Not for me, thankfully

I probably won't be able to move tomorrow after the crazy sprints I did during my game today.  It was fun.  I had a blast, as usual.  My legs were tired before I even went to play.  My legs were tired when I went to tennis this morning and I played that for 90 minutes and then went to field hockey.  I'll be asleep shortly.

I got really freaked out at my sesh on Friday.  On Charro's desk was a "treatment contract," and I was like, crap, she better not be giving that to me to sign.  She did not.  There are a lot of people at that facility so I was hoping it wasn't for me.  Thank God.

Oh my gosh, something smells so good.  I'm not sure if it's a restaurant near me or someone is grilling, but it smells fantastic!!!

I need chapstick, my lips are on fire.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Perfect Paw Print

I got my little squishes paw print today.  It is absolutely beyond beautiful and perfect.  The girl did such an amazing job.  It's a beach scene, with a palm tree of course, and the imprint of her paw and her name on top.  It is awesome.  I love it so much.  It makes me so happy.  I'm just going to be super paranoid of it breaking now.

So Charro caught me in a shoe change yesterday.  I was in the hallway changing into my flip flops and she walked out the secret employee door and saw me.  I was only changing into my flip flops because if she was going to weigh me, I would wear them on the scale rather than get on there barefoot.  If I had socks on (because I take my shoes off) then I would have been screwed and had nothing but socks on my feet.  If I have my flip flops on, it will give me a little extra weight.

Speaking of weight, it's back down to what it was, so my earlier in the week freak out was for nothing, I guess.  I guess I should be use to that by now, after 20 years of this.  I think I really need to buy a scale this week.  I'm trying not to give into it, but I think I might.  If I was sure that Charro was not going to weigh me, then I wouldn't get one, but I can't be so sure of that.  She better not weigh me on Wednesday night when I see her.

I have the worst garlic breath right now.

Friday, August 16, 2013

That was a lie

So I flat out lied to Charro today when she asked me how much I weigh.  Not a novel thing to do, but I did it.  Do I feel good about it?  No, not so much, but I had to.  She wasn't even happy with the number I told her.  I said I weighed 102 and that wasn't good enough for her.  She says I need to be 103, but come on, really??  ONE pound?  You're going to change how you feel about it by one pound?  I guess if I'm going to lie, I should at least lie and give her the number that she wants to hear.  She was like "So that's good enough for you?"  I was like, "Yeah, it is."  She said, "You don't mind monitoring your weight all of the time?"  Not really, I'm okay living this way.  It's fine for me.  Let's face it, this is it for me.  This is my life and it's okay.  

For some reason she told me about what she saw on the subway yesterday.  She goes, "Do you want to hear what happened to me on the subway yesterday?"  UM...YEAH!  So she got on and there was a topless woman on the train.  (It's legal to go topless in New York).  She said she was just sitting there like she was wearing a shirt but she wasn't.  I said, "It's cold on the subway."  She goes, "I know."  I think she understood what I was alluding to.  Ha.  She said, "I thought for sure L (her son) would say something but he didn't seem to notice."  I said, "I guess he's use to it from being in Italy."

I've gone prepared for WIF the past couple of Fridays.  I know that the minute I let me guard down and don't go prepared, she will weigh me.  I guess I have to keep going prepared.  It will be much easier when I'm wearing jeans.  She asked me about my scale and I told her that I didn't get a new one.  She asked if I have been weighing myself when I go home and I said yes.  She said, "Both days."  I said, "Yes."  She said, "Doesn't it seem ridiculous that you have to weigh yourself both days?"  I said, "No."

I'm tired.  I have a meeting soon.  I need to call the office.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

First cup of tea

It's the time of year again....cold weather.  Ugh, I hate it.  I am having my first cup of tea of the season.  I want summer back.  People love this weather, and I will admit, it is nice...for late October.  It is not okay for August.  It's supposed to be hot in August.

I woke up to a message from my vet saying that my cat's paw print is finally ready.  YAY!!  I can't wait to pick it up on Saturday.  She said it's beautiful.  I have no idea what to expect.  I really wanted to get her foot chopped off and save it, like a rabbit's foot, but I did not do that.  See, she had a special back leg.  She was born with a deformity and it her leg was a little crooked and her foot was different.  I called it her "little foot."  It was so stinking adorable and I would kiss it all of the time.  I wanted to save it.  The paw print is of her little foot.  God I  miss her. :(

My other guy is sitting right next to me as I type this.

I just realized that I will have no access to a scale all next week and that means that I probably need to buy one before next Friday, unless Charro weighs me tomorrow.  She will not be thrilled if I buy a scale.  I don't think she's thrilled with me anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.  I'm just really sick of having to worry about being a certain weight.  I've been really sick of it for a long time now.

I'm going to drink my tea now.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

This isn't okay

I gained like 9 million pounds in the past week.  I'm not really sure how that actually happened since I haven't really been eating much.  I am NOT happy about this at all.  This means that I think I need to buy a new scale.  I do not like this one bit.  Ugh.  I need to work out hard.  I worked out a lot last week too, so I'm not sure what's going on.  I feel huge, I've gained weight and I need to lose it.  Well, I need it to be this way on Friday in case Charro decides to WIF me.  I'm still under what Charro says I need to be, but I literally gained 3 pounds since last week.  I am so not okay with this.

I kind of don't care if this is how I continue living my life.  It's fine and I'm okay with it.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Face comes back

My sesh with Charro was not fun, which is usually the case when she tells me things that I don't want to hear...aka, things that are true.  Brilliant me decided to bring in my list of physical activity from last week.  She said it was excessive, I don't think it was.  She said, not that I haven't hear this from her before, "You are a compulsive walker!"  Yes, I do walk more than the average person.  Yes, some times I do walk for exercise.  Most of the time I walk because I don't want to pay for the subway or the bus.  I tell her this all the time, if I had an unlimited metro card, I would not walk nearly as much as I do.  (I do not have one because they are very expensive).  Maybe I will bring this up with her again on Friday.  She doesn't believe me that it's mostly for financial reasons.  It adds up.  By walking to my sesh on Mondays I save $125/year.  That's a good amount.  I also walk on Fridays, so I save $250 a year just by walking to my sesh's with her.  Those little things add up.

I kind of feel like she's thinking she's not doing anything for me and there's no need for me to be there.  She kind of have that tone going today.  She was giving me there, "I can't do it for you" lecture and then said, "Most people, after 6 years, can see that they at least have a problem," pointing out the fact that I still don't really see that.  Not a fun day at the office.

Oh yeah, she was not thrilled by the fact that I ran there either.  I try to point out that I actually do less physical activity for the day when I run there than when I walk there, but she doesn't get it.  

Sometimes I get frustrated because she thinks I'm making excuses for things when I'm not.  I can see how she would think that because it's a disordered thing to do, but I'm truly not, especially with the subway thing.  I need to talk to her about that on Friday.  

I make "The Face" when she says things I don't want to hear.  I made "The Face" a lot today.  She was like "I'd love to know what the face is all about."  Me too!

Running in the rain, I hope not.

I couldn't drag myself to the gym this morning, therefore I will be running to my sesh today.  Charro loves that.  Actually, I don't think she cares.  She'd prefer if I did not run there because she says it's like an alcoholic going to a bar before therapy.  I need to get there somehow and I would normally walk, so what's the difference really?  I'm actually doing less by running there.  If I was walking, I would have gone to the gym too.

My legs are tired.  Running will not be fun.  Oh wait, it never is.  Let's hope it doesn't rain, because it might.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

I ate a bug

My date was actually better than I expected it to be.  He didn't talk about money the whole time, which was nice.  We had fun.  I ate a bug.  That was not fun, nor was it part of my menu plan.  Wait until I tell Charro.  She's going to ask about dinner, which did not happen.  We did have a snack of pitas and hummus.  She will say "That is not dinner."  I wasn't hungry when I got home so I didn't eat.  I had a little snack, but that was it.  Oh well, it happens, I don't really care.  I still feel like there is a bug stuck in my throat.  I wonder what kind of bug it was that I inhaled.  YUCK!

I think I might test my scale again to see if it works.  I still have yet to throw it out.  Maybe it will stop saying I weigh 106.6.  I'll probably get a new scale, which will be tricky because I won't know how accurate it is.  I knew, with this scale that I have, what I needed to weigh in order to pass WIF.  I won't  be so sure with a new scale.  I guess that's okay because after one WIF, I'll be able to figure it out.

It feels weird to do NOTHING in the morning.  I didn't work out this morning because I'm going to play field hockey later, which is a blast.  I don't know what to do with my free time.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Opening up a little

It feels kind of nice to have been open with my friend L. about my ED.  I wonder if she's going to bring it up with me again.  She's the only person without any eating issues who knows about this, beside my friend from high school.  She said I could talk to her whenever and she'd be willing to listen.  I told her that I won't bore her with stuff but she is more than welcome to ask me questions.  I guess it's pretty nice to have a friend like that.

There are 3 Saturday in August when the city shuts down Park Avenue to car traffic and opens it up to bikers, runners, etc.  I love it.  I hopped on my bike this morning and rode for an hour.  I had to cut it short because I had to teach aerobics.  I love these days.  Last week it rained so I didn't do it.

I've been writing down my physical activity for the last week, after reading it in "Almost Anorexic."  Maybe I'll bring it to Charro on Monday.  I don't know if that's a great idea though.  I don't think I do too much, but she might.  She always thinks I do too much.

I desperately need to take a nap in the sun, but there is no sun.  It was sunny before and now it's not.  I still may head up to the roof anyway.

I just had some serious heart palpitations.  That was weird.  I had them a little bit at Charro's yesterday too, but I think that's because she brought up the scale and then I was worried that she was going to weigh me.

Speaking so scales, I'm getting closer to buying a new one.  It is nice having that extra space in my bathroom though.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Still no WIF

I am quite shocked that Charro did not weigh me again today.  Seriously, I'm happy about it, but shocked.  Last time she had weighed me I was less than what she said I need to be, so I thought she'd weigh me last week, since she was gone for two weeks, but she didn't.  I thought for sure she'd weigh me today, since my scale broke and she didn't weigh me last week.  I keep going all prepared for WIF and it doesn't happen.  I won't complain about the lack of WIF though, that's for sure.

I told her about Smoothie Guy.  She basically said that there is something wrong with him.  I'm going out with him again tomorrow to play mini golf and I'm guessing that that will be the last date.  I don't really even know why I'm going out with him again, but I am.  I guess I like to give people a second chance.

I really wish I had my scale.  I think I'll order a new one.  Maybe I'll wait until after I see Charro on Monday to do that.  I wish mine worked properly and didn't keep telling me that I weigh 106.6.  I tried to take it apart again but the screws are stripped from my initial dismantling of it.

I keep finding pieces of my computer places.  Whoops.  I'm thinking I should just buy my own and get a new one from work, that why I don't have to worry about my stuff being on a work computer.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Why I see Charro

I'm getting a "new" computer, aka someone's old computer, from work next week.  Yay.  Unfortunately I have to give this one back.  I need to get all of the stuff off of it that I need first, which may take a while.  Oh dear.  

I had lunch with a friend today.  I told her recently that I see Charro.  She asked me today why I started seeing her.  I got a huge smirk on my face because I didn't know how to respond and then I said, "eating stuff."  She was like, "really?  An eating disorder?"  I said, "Yeah."  She asked me if I purged and I said no and then she said "not eating."  I said yes and told her that I use to work out a ton too.  We talked about that for a little bit and it was fine.  It's the first time I ever told anyone who doesn't have food issues this.  She asked me how long I've had it and I told her.  She started to tell me about all of the medical consequences and I said that I know about them.  I told her that I was never bad though.  I also told her how Charro weighs me and that I don't exactly weigh what she wants me to weigh.  (I'm sure she's going to weigh me tomorrow, which will suck because I don't know how much I weigh).  I told my friend about that dilemma, like how my scale broke and how I need to it so I can weigh myself before I see Charro so I make sure I weigh enough.  She told me not the cheat!  Yeah.  So, that was that.

I thought my scale was working today but it kept saying that I weighed 106.6, which I don't.  So, it looks like I'm going to have to get a new one.  I can't not have one if Charro is going to weigh me.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Computer search

My computer is about to shit the bed.  Let's just say that the screen is detaching from the keyboard.  It's not pretty.  I came back to my apartment and moved it and it nearly fell off.  I sent a picture of it to my sort of boss, in hopes that he'll tell me that they'll get me a new one.  I tried taping it, but I don't think it's doing anything.  I have to be extra gentle with it.  I need to get all of my pictures off of it before it craps out.  I started doing that a while ago and when I stuck my flash drive in my computer the other day it said it wasn't readable.  So now the flash drive is broken, which means nothing is saved.  Ugh.  I ordered a new one the other day and it's on the way.  Hopefully it will be here tomorrow and I can copy all of my pictures, especially the ones of my cat.  :(  I can't lose pictures of her.  I hope I can get these things done before my computer craps out.

Okay, I need to computer search.

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Free smoothie

Wow, so here's how my date when yesterday.  He called me, like he said he would, after his meeting and asked me what time would work for me.  I said, "Whenever, I'm ready whenever."  He said, "Okay, how about 6?  I have a coupon for smoothies, do you want to go get a smoothie?"  Um, really?  We're going out on a date and you're trying to woo me with a free smoothie??  He had a buy one get one free coupon.  He asked me what I wanted and he ordered it.  He said, "I'll have a large,"  I interrupted him and said, "No...Small!"  He said, "No, get a large because you get it free."  Um, okay.  So, I got a LARGE smoothie that is still sitting in my fridge because it's enormous and maybe I could finish it in 64 days.

He was a little odd, if you can't tell by that.  Good looking, but a little odd.  I don't really know what to say about it.

I'm thinking that I'm going to buy a scale to replace my broken one.  I asked Charro yesterday if she would meet me for coffee when I stopped seeing her.  She said "no."  She then told me a story about how a therapist ran into one of her people and the person asked if they could meet up and the therapist said yes and she consulted with her supervisor.  Now the therapist has to tell the person that they can't meet up.  I said, "That person is going to feel rejected."  Charro said, "No, the therapist is going to explain why she can't."  I said, "She's still going to feel rejected.  I would.  I think people do."  She was like, "Really?"  I said, "Yes."  I think I opened up her eyes to that.

Gotta go play field hockey.

Monday, August 05, 2013

Uh, no!

Well, it was a no go.  Charro didn't go for my scale proposal.  Of course she thinks it would be great if I didn't replace my scale and that it was a sign from the universe, but she still feels the need to weigh me because "it's her job."  Crap, that really sucks.  So, will I replace my scale or not?  I don't know.  I'm guessing that I will.  She gives me the "it's your decision" lecture and how I'm "putting it on her" by saying that she's the one who makes me weigh myself.  I tried to explain to her that if I didn't have to worry about not weighing enough on WIF, I wouldn't weigh myself.  She said, "if you don't weigh enough, I tell you that you need to weigh more.  I'm not going to let you go right then and there."  Yeah well, I need to weigh myself before she weighs me, that's for sure.  She said, "You just have to eat well.  Stop restricting."  Yeah yeah.  She says that I can't eat intuitively, well, I disagree, my stomach knows when it's hungry and it's hungry a lot so I eat.

In other news, I have a date tonight.  I think this guy might have potential.  We'll see.  Yesterday's was a doozy.  

I saw my future husband in a store today.  He held the door for me.  He was perfect...dark hair, blue eyes, nice body.  I love him.

Will she go for it?

I'll find out today, hopefully, if Charro will go for my scale proposal.  I really hope she does, but I kind of feel like she won't go for it.  T-2 hours and I'll know more.  

I'm on my work conference call right now, clearly multi-tasking.  :) I think I need to talk in a minute though.  These calls are so boring.

Guess I should go.  I just painted my nails but don't like the color.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Good day for hockey

I went for a run this morning because I thought field hockey was going to get canceled for today.  I checked to see how many people were signed up to play, and as of this morning there were only two.  So, I went running, which I wouldn't have done had I know we were actually going to have field hockey, and when I got back and checked the board, there were enough people signed up.  So now, since I'm running it today, I have to trek 1 hour 20 minutes to the field, play for two hours, and trek back.  My body is tired, the trek is annoying, but I will have a blast once I get there.  Hmm, if I told Charro how much I worked out this week, she would not be thrilled.  I worked out every day but Friday (I walked 4 miles to my sesh with her), I played field hockey twice, this will be three times, on top of working out.  Tuesday I will not work out, but I will play field hockey at night.  So, that will be like my day off.  Fridays are really my days off because I only walk to and from Charro.

I could totally take a nap right now but it's not really worth it for me to go up on the roof for an hour.  Well, maybe it is.  Hmm.  It's gorgeous out.  I just had a date.  There won't be a number two.  I have a date with a guy who seems pretty promising, tomorrow.  Hopefully it will go well.

I have over 2 pounds of cherries to eat.  I bought three pounds and probably ate close to a pound already.  I have blueberries to eat.  My digestive system can't handle all of that fruit at once.

I guess I should get my gear ready.  Beautiful day for hockey!

Friday, August 02, 2013

Scale death

My scale died today.  Apparently having a ton of water spilled on it isn't good for it.  I went out and bought a new battery, which I knew wouldn't fix it, and a mini screw driver set so I can take it apart, but neither worked.  Well, the screws in the scale are triangular, so my screw drivers can't really get the screw out.  It's a sad, sad day.

I've come up with a proposal for Charro and emailed it to her so she can think about it for Monday when I see her.  I told her that I would NOT replace my scale if she stopped weighing me.  I don't think she's going to go for that, but on the other hand, I'm sure she would be beyond thrilled if I didn't have a scale in my apartment.  So, I don't know, it could go either way but I think she's going to come back with the "I need to weigh you to make sure you're staying on track."  If that's the case, I need to buy a new scale.

Right now, I need to shower.

Surprised by no WIF

I saw Charro this morning.  It's nice to have her back.  I thought for sure that she'd weigh me, but she didn't.  I was shocked.  I'm still shocked.  Last time she weighed me she said, "You have to be up the next time I weigh you," so I thought for sure she'd check out that situation today.  I wore my cut-off jean shorts for nothing today.  Ha.

She got a nice tan while she was away.  She said she thought of me when she saw people running in Italy.  I think she went to the beach there, although I don't know where.  

My date last night was nice, but I don't see it going anywhere.  No need for date number two.  I did get his name, but then I screwed it up, but I don't really care.  I have another date on Sunday with with a guy who I'm basically going out with just to see if we'd hit it off.  I'm guessing we won't, but I like to give people a shot.

My feet hurt.  I walk around in my flip flops too much.

It's gorgeous out today.  I think I'll have to head to the roof at some point.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

The no name date

Okay, so I have a date with a guy tonight and I don't know his name.  This is not the first time this has happened.  This might be an issue.  I'm planning on going in and introducing myself, hoping that he will say his name too.  If not, I'm screwed.  Oh well.  Again, it's like that Seinfeld episode.

I weighed myself this morning and WIF is not going to go well tomorrow.  Oh dear, that's really all I can say.  Maybe I can magically gain a few pounds today, I don't know.  Charro is not going to be thrilled.  Maybe I can tell her that I'm still upset about my cat, which is not a lie at all, and she'll cut me a little slack?  I doubt it, but I'll try.  Plus, she wasn't here to help me through it so maybe it will work and she'll give me another week.  Hmm.

My other cat's breath stinks.  He's cute though, and he loves me, which is what matters.  I need him to poop so I can look at it and see if there's any blood.

I guess I should do some work.