Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I'm sleepy.  I played field hockey tonight, which was fun.  I burn a lot of calories doing this, between the walk there and back and playing, it's a lot of calories.

You know what sucks?  Paying rent.  I was so kindly reminded that my rent is due when I got the thing in the mail today.  Yuck.  Paying rent sucks!

My kitty looks so cute right now.  He's sleeping.  I need to watch him when he poops, which I wasn't able to do while I was home, to see if he is still pooping blood.  I should be home all day tomorrow to see what the deal is.  Hopefully he is not still pooping blood.  I started giving him some Miralax, hopefully that will help.

I still want to look like that girl who I played with last night.  Wait until I tell Charro how I want to start training harder so I can look like that.  She'll love that one...almost as much as she'll love the results from WIF.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Half the size

Field hockey was fun tonight, but here's the deal, there was this girl, she's going to be a sophomore (I think) in college, who was there.  She plays division 3 field hockey and possibly lacrosse too.  I coached her when she was a freshman in high school.  Anyway, she's a good athlete and when I saw her tonight I didn't recognize her for a minute.  First of all, her hair is blonde, secondly, she is about half the size she was last year.  Honestly, she looks awesome and I would kill to look like her.  She makes me want to work harder, get into better shape, have no fat on my body, be thinner, and have the fitness level/body that college athletes have.  I don't know what my body looked like when I was in college.  I played 2 Division 1 sports, so I was fit...but what did I look like?  I have no idea because I thought I was fat.  All I know is that I'm going to start training hard so I can be somewhat like I use to be.  I say this, but will I do it??  I need to...for me.

Summer fun

I'm loving this weather!  Oh wait, I just love summer and need it to be summer all of the time, minus like December 1-January 10.  Winter would be okay then.

I ran outside this morning, then worked, then went in the pool for a few hours and then I'll play field hockey tonight.  I feel like my stomach is getting bigger and bigger, which is not okay.  I am not okay with that at all.  I am also so not looking forward to WIF.  Charro is not going to be happy with WIF either.  I need to make it okay so I don't have do to stupid food logs.  I don't understand how I can feel and look fat when the scale says otherwise.  Makes no sense to me.  Hopefully I'll get a good workout tonight at field hockey.

I bought two new nail polishes yesterday and I'm not sure how I feel about them.  The purple is too dark.   The pink is okay.

Monday, July 29, 2013

The glory days of summer

Today = Gym with no headphones because they've mysteriously disappeared from my car, work, Walmart, pool, shopping, badminton.  A nice day, I would say.  Tomorrow = gym, work, pool, field hockey, pool, sleep.  I still feel huge and gross.  If only I could be fatter for WIF and then be normal again.  

I should make a list of stuff to talk about with Charro on Friday but I'm too preoccupied to do that now.  I guess I probably won't do it at all.

I don't want summer to end.  I love it so much.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Country time

I feel so disgusting gross and full and fat right now.  A couple of my friends came over today and we had lunch, lots of food and they brought tons of desserts, and then we went out to dinner.  Okay, so I made a blueberry buckle with the blueberries I picked yesterday so I had some of that with my breakfast.  I had a little mozzarella, handful of popcorn, corn on the cob, and some pasta salad.  Then I had 1/2 of two different Italian pastries and some fruit.  I was beyond stuffed.  We played some outdoor sports and then I took them to this place for dinner that has really good lobster rolls.  Well, I don't eat lobster so I can't really attest to that, but everyone says they're really good.  I didn't get anything to eat, but they ate.  I had 3 french fries.  I am still stuffed from lunch.  I ate a lot today and it was a lot of crap.  There are so many desserts leftover and it's nuts.  I'll need to do some serious working out this week.

We had a good time.  I think they enjoyed being out of the city, swimming, playing badminton and stuff.  I let me cat outside for a few minutes but got nervous and brought him in.  He wants to be out there so badly.

I hate feeling so gross.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Cat freak outs

My little guy and I came home today.  He's so happy here.  I'm sad without my little girl.  It was exactly one month ago that I had to put her down.  I figured out what part of the problem is, she let me hold her, my other guy will not.  He's very, very cuddly, but I really miss being able to pick up and hold my cat and just hug her.  I got to hold my friend's lovable cat today, which was nice.  Cat therapy.

So, my guy has been pooping blood.  Just what I need.  I saw it yesterday and freaked out, why would I not?!  There was kind of a lot of blood.  My vet doesn't seem concerned and thinks he just needs more fluids and maybe some fiber.  I'll give it a shot, the fiber that is.  I hope he is okay because I really can't take it.  I would completely lose it if something happened to him.  Ugh.

I feel huge tonight, probably because I ate almost 2 lbs of cherries in less than 24 hours.  Um, that's going to be a problem.  I went blueberry picking today but didn't really eat that many because I think I need to get rid of the cherries first.

I just made a dessert and the buzzer should be going off any second so I will end this.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Cat sadness

I miss my cat a lot!!  It didn't help that just a little while ago my other cat pooped and there was a lot of blood in it.  Freak out ensues!  I feel like it's been nonstop freakouts with my cats over the past month or so.  First with my little one and now with this one.  I can't take it, I really can't.  Hopefully nothing is wrong with him and he was just straining to poop, but if there is something wrong with him, I will lose completely lose it.  I can't deal.

I have stupid stuff that I have to do today, like send back shoes that I ordered because they don't fit.  I got the smallest size and they're too big.  Ugh.

I weighed myself this morning and it was pretty much the same as it has been, so if it's a little chilly next Friday and I can wear long sleeves,  I may be okay for WIF.  I'm going to wear my cut-off jeans because those weigh more too.  Of course I'll wear a belt and a shirt long enough so Charro can't tell I'm wearing a belt because if she can, she'll make me take it off.

I'm halfway through "Almost Anorexic."  I should be taking notes but I'm not. 

I'm sleepy.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Hmm, no title

My cat wants to spend every waking minute in the hallway.  He meows at the door and wants to go out there.  I let him, but not all of the time.  I don't know why he loves it out there.  I think he's lonely.  I want to get a kitten so badly, one that looks just like my little Squish, but I know I can't replace her.  :(  I miss calling her name, which was not "Squish," by the way, but I did call her that sometimes because she was squishy.

I have mixed feelings about seeing Charro when she returns next Friday.  I have stuff I want to talk to her about, but I am dreading WIF.  I know she's going to weigh me and I know that it's not going to be good.  Maybe I should weigh myself tomorrow just to see what I may be faced with next week.  I really, really don't want to do stupid food logs, or get weighed every freaking Friday.  I really don't want to get the whole "You need to gain blah, blah, blah, or we're going to have to end our treatment together."  I've gotten that lecture 400 too many times.  I guess it's not her fault, but I'm tired of it.  Things would be so much better if she just stopped weighing me so I didn't have to have that hanging over my head all the time, maybe then we could get somewhere.  Ugh!

I'm not starving myself.  I'm eating so I don't know what the issue.  It's not intentional.  Maybe I haven't really lost weight and I'm just overreacting.  I'll weigh myself tomorrow to find out.  I mean, I know I lost a pound or two, but I guess that's not really anything too nuts, so that's okay.  It's just not okay with Charro.

Tomorrow I shall run.  Maybe I will just keep running.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

That's my title

I had a good day of working out today.  Well, I had a short workout at the gym, but I played field hockey tonight and burned 650 calories, which is lovely.  I know I'll be starving in the middle of the night or tomorrow because my dinner sucked.  There was nothing here to eat.

I didn't weigh myself this morning.  I was tempted to but I didn't.  I figured that I'd hold off since Charro isn't here to weigh me on Friday.  I don't know if I should weigh myself to make sure I'm not losing weight or if I should just not weigh myself.  Charro would say, "Don't weigh yourself and eat well."  Okay, whatever that means.  I am eating well.

I started reading "Almost Anorexic," and it's pretty good so far.  I'm only 60 pages in.  I can't stand eating disorders being called "Ed," but I guess I'll have to deal with it for the rest of the book.  I never reached the anorexic point so I guess I have always been "almost anorexic" too.  I'll bring that one up with Charro when she gets back.

I just got tired.  I'm trying to drink a ton of water because I sweat a lot tonight and I don't want to wake up dying of thirst.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The thunder rolled

I was supposed to play field hockey tonight but we got some bad storms so that didn't happen.  That means that I didn't work out at all today.  I guess it's okay a little because I'll workout tomorrow morning and play field hockey tomorrow night.  I can also work out Friday morning since I won't be seeing Charro. 

It's been a weird week with of stuff with people, nothing bad, just weird.  There must be something in the universe or something, because it's just weird.

I am so tired so I'll be going to bed soon and I am so looking forward to that.  Friday I will run because I haven't done so in a while.  I need to get a good run in.

I've been thinking about stuff and should jot it down for when Charro comes back.  I haven't done that yet.

I have nothing else to say.  I've been quite boring lately, which is probably good.  Hopefully things will stay boring when Charro gets back because WIF could make things not so boring which is not so good.

Let me just state, my life hasn't been boring, I just don't write about most of the fun/exciting stuff that I do or that happens to me.

Monday, July 22, 2013

It was nice to see Charro today.  I had nothing really in depth to talk about, but I had a lot of important things (three) to bring up to her.  We discussed those things.  She got tan from her vacation last week.  She leaves for Italy tomorrow.  I'll see her August 2...WIF doomsday.

Charro told me to make sure I eat well.  She always tells me that.  I told her that I was going to miss her while she's gone.  I will miss her, but I'm also going to be spending 5 days at home, which will be nice, if the weather is nice.  I'll work and hang out with friends and hang out in the pool.

I need to take notes while Charro is gone so I don't "seal over," as she put it.  That's what always happens.  If I don't see her for a week, I clam up and don't talk.  I don't know why that is. 

I really don't want to have to deal with WIF next week.  I'm not trying to lose weight, but I did lose a little bit, not much at all, but enough where she noticed.  I need to fix that by next Friday so I don't have to do dumb food logs.  I HATE food logs.  I say that all of the time.

Maybe I'll eat a yogurt.  I should eat something more than what I had.  I guess I'll do that.

Exciting meals

I'm really sick of the "What am I going to have for lunch/dinner" question I ask myself every day.  I need to start looking through some recipes and making something interesting because eating the same thing every day is really, really boring and I hate trying to figure out what to eat.  Breakfast is so easy for me because I've been eating the same thing forever.  It's the other meals, where I have to actually think and prepare that is the problem.

Tomorrow I will eat at home with my family so I'll have leftovers, which is always nice.  I'll have to figure out two meals for today though.  Looks like egg whites and avocado and cheese on a wrap for lunch again today.  So exciting.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

That was a better idea

I skipped the running today.  Suddenly it hit me, as I was about to go running...Hey, why not rollerblade instead?  Okay, great idea, so that's what I did.  I got a great workout, it was fun, and it was different.  I might feel that one in my hip a little bit later on, I'm not sure.  The only reason I say that is because it just felt like it was burning a little.  Oh well, it's fine.

I have a rooftop bbq/pool party to go to today.  Of course it's not 9000 degrees anymore, but maybe I'll go swimming anyway just because I can.

I need to redo my toe and finger nails.  Maybe I'll do that right now. 

I see Charro tomorrow and then she's off to Italy until August 2.  She's not going for a very long time this time, maybe because she was there for 2 weeks at Christmas?  She usually only goes once a year.  She's got a crazy schedule.  Worked on Monday and then went on vacation, is back tomorrow and then off to Italy, comes back and moves to the suburbs.  Geez, I can't imagine going away twice and then moving when I got back.  That's a lot to tackle.  I'm sure she has people doing the moving, I don't think they struggle financially.  I don't know why I get that feeling, but I just do.

I'm going to sit outside with my cat and do my nails now.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

A fun filled Saturday night

I'm spending a fun filled Saturday night doing take home continuing education test for my aerobics certification.  Don't be jealous.  Unfortunately the one I'm doing now requires me to watch a video, which stinks because I can't just zoom through it.  The other bad part of this video, the guy talking reminds me of Pee Wee Herman.  Not a good thing, I might add.  I'm halfway down with this test, only 5 more questions left.  Let's get this show on the road.

I've been eating a ton the past few days, probably because I'm pmsing.  I don't think it, especially because I have nothing new to eat, it's the same old crap every day and I'm sick of it.

I'm tired, so this test needs to be over.

I think my cat is lonely.  I think he's bored and misses his sister. :(  I miss her.

I need to go running tomorrow morning.  It's supposed to be less humid so I must go running.  It's not optional.  It's something that I must do!!  I need to get into shape here people.

Okay, I don't have anything to say.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Steam bath

It's steamy out.  I'm not going to complain about it because I actually don't mind it.  I'll complain about the cold all winter long, but not about the heat, that's for sure.

I was walking home around 11 last night and it was 90 degrees and super steamy.  I took a shower when I got home so I didn't go to bed hot.  I went to the gym this morning and did a little workout.  I ate a ton last night and it didn't show on the scale.  Charro is going to WIF me on August 2, when she gets back, and if I'm not up to where she says I need to be then I need to do stupid food logs.  I HATE food logs, so I'm going to try and avoid that at all costs. 

There's actually a nice (hot) breeze today.  I'll probably go up to the roof.  It wasn't bad up there yesterday, plus I kept jumping into the shower up there to cool off.  I even fell asleep up there yesterday.  I think I'll do that again today. :)

I ordered "Almost Anorexic."  We'll see how it is.  If Jennie Schaeffer (I know I spelled her name wrong) refers to eating disorders as "ED," I will burn the book.  I find that to be SOOOO annoying.  I should get it next week.  Charro doesn't think I should read anything related to eds, but I do.  Yet, a few weeks ago she asked me if I had read the book.  Whatever.

I wonder when my kitty's paw print will be done.  :(  I miss her.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Too hot out?

Apparently I need to eat more, that according to my scale, not my stomach.  Again, thank God there will be no WIF tomorrow or next Friday. 

My cat keeps wanting to sit outside, but it's literally 101 degrees out there and I don't think he should be out there.  It's too dangerous for him.  That being said, I may head up to the roof to lay out for a bit.  There are showers up there so I can keep cooling off.  I'm so tired and need to take a nap, which definitely wouldn't happen on the roof, but oh well.

Wait, I just realized that this is working through AOL again.  That's amazing.

I think I just started my Christmas shopping today too.  One gift is taken care of! :)  Yay.

Okay, roof or nap?  I think I'll see what it's like up there.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A good crazy

Yesterday was a crazy day, in a good way.  Lots of fun/good things happened.  Last night I went swimming in my pool and the water was 87 degrees.  It was awesome.  Swam under the moon and the stars, and the lightening bugs were flashing everywhere.  I loved it.  I took it all in.  I swam for about 3 hours today too, after work.  

I'm back with my cat and he's happy to have me here.  I don't even know what else I was going to write about yesterday because I was busy all day.

Good thing there will be no WIF for the next two weeks because I weighed myself this morning and Charro would have me in a freaking institute if she knew what I weighed this morning.  I've got until August 2 to remedy that.

I'm exhausted and feel like I have chlorine all over me, even though I rinsed off in the hose after swimming.  Oh well, I'll shower in the morning.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Out of control

I knew Charro would be in rare form today, given that she's leaving for vacation tomorrow.  Well, she was.  She dropped the F bomb once.  I can't really remember what it was in reference to, but nothing important, that's for sure.  It was funny though.  Then we were talking about the therapeutic relationship and I was like "Who doesn't want to know everything about their therapist?"  She was like, "I don't want to know anything about my therapist."  I wonder what she talks about in therapy.  Hmm...

So we didn't really get much accomplished today.  I kept giving her looks.  At one point I said, "Are ya done?"  She was talking about Whitney Houston and I look at her and go, "I gotta go."  I didn't really have to go but my time was up.  She apologized for wasting my time today.  That's okay, I do it all of the time!!!

No Charro until next Monday, so sad, but at least I don't have to fear WIF for the next two Fridays!! :)

Sunday, July 14, 2013


So I don't like sitting on the fake couch chair at Charro's Friday office.  It's uncomfortable and I don't like it.  I squirm the entire time.  Well on Friday, Charro got a little sick of it and said,  "Have you ever known anybody to keep getting up every 5 minutes to adjust their shorts?  It's like...Are you like, some like, awful dude who has to adjust himself every 5 minutes.  I mean, this is like, ridiculous.  Like, chill out and let your shorts be."  Yeah, so that was funny.

I'm tired.  My parents are coming tomorrow to stay overnight with me.  I see Charro tomorrow and then she goes away for a week.  She comes back for next Monday and then goes to Italy for almost two weeks.

I miss my kitty. :(

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Will it be a good party

I'm going to a party tonight where I will see a lot of people whom I haven't seen in a very long time.  Most of them I know from my days at the gym at home.  A few of them don't eat, and they're older.  I kind of don't want to see these people.  It makes me not want to eat when I'm around them because I feel like they'll judge me for eating.  I wonder what kind of comments they'll make about my weight, if any.  It should be very interesting.  I don't want to go there and feel like I have to restrict my food intake because I'm around these people.  I know I don't have to and they're not making me, but I feel that way when I'm around them.  I feel like I'm going to feel uncomfortable with people I once felt very comfortable with.  The party starts in an hour.  It should be interesting.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Stephanie, Charro, WIF, Sesh

Okay, now I actually can write everything that I want to write.  So let me begin.  I was teaching aerobics last night and apparently those attending class didn't have anything in them.  One left part of the way through, one sat there the whole time and the other said, "Hey, let's go to Little Italy and get gelato."  So, we ended class early and I went up with one of my friends to her apartment because she was going to give me a dress to wear.  Okay, so she's 20 years older than I am and has like 50DD boobs.  I'm about an A- in the boob area.  So I put this dress on and it's clearly a little (a lot) big on the top but she said it looked find and I wore it.  She then proceeded to spray with me, what I like to call, "old lady" perfume.  Hate that smell.  We headed downstairs to meet up with our other friend.

We get to the subway and are standing around talking, waiting for the train to come and who walks by...Stephanie?  (Fill-in therapist).  It took me a second to realize it was her, probably because I didn't expect to see her and she looked like she had lost weight.  She looked at me and then I said, "Hey, how are you?"  The conversation started from there.  We talked for a few minutes and then the train came.  I thought for sure she'd want an escape route and would opt for another train car, but she got in the same car as I did. We kept talking.  She asked if I was still seeing Charro and how that was going.  She asked about my favorite singer.  We had a good conversation.  I asked her about work and school, etc.  It was nice and it wasn't awkward at all.  It was SO great to see her.  She got off one stop from my stop, so I wonder if she lives near me.  It would be an easy commute for her if she does live on this side of town.  I was so excited to see her.  I just sent her an email, we'll see if she responds.  I told Charro I saw her.  I wonder if Charro gets jealous of that?

So we had WIF today.  It was not a good scene.  I weighed myself here this morning and was a good 5 lbs below what I need to be in there.  I managed to weigh a little more by the time I got there and ate and drank, etc, but not enough.  I knew Charro was going to weigh me today, just because it's been so long, but when I got there she was like "We're going to do WIF today.  Aren't you excited?"  Oh yeah, thrilled.  I was hoping she'd forget but she did not.  Well, as expected, she was like "You've lost weight.  You need to gain 2-3 pounds by the time we do this again (which won't be until August 2 when she comes back) or you're going to have to do food logs.  NOOOOO FOOD LOGS!!!  I loathe food logs.  So, that was that.  I also found out she's leaving Brooklyn and moving to the 'burbs.  Finally!

Charro was actually very chatty today, she must be excited about vacation, because she kept telling random stories, which she would normally yell at me for doing and "wasting time."

This won't be a good WIF

I need to gain about 5 pounds in 40 minutes...not thinking I can do that.

I saw Stephanie

I ran into Stephanie tonight in the subway station.  I looked at her for a minute because she looked different, then I realized that she looked thinner.  She looked at me and then I finally said hello.  We got to talking and we talked for about 10 minutes.  It was really nice to see her.  I wasn't quite sure what she was going to do when we got on the train, but she got in the same car as me and we continued our conversation.  I'll write more about it tomorrow, which is really today, but for now I have to try and go to bed because I have to see Charro in 8 hours.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Get ready for a "surprise" WIF

Charro tomorrow morning.  I have to figure out what I'm going to wear because I know she's going to weigh me.  I'll wear a belt, she'll yell at me and make me take it off, and probably say, "I told you not to wear belts on Friday's."

I did some work, cleaned my apartment a little and then I'll teach class.

The guy I'm seeing just blew me off for the weekend, which I'm really annoyed about because I asked him to come home with me a few weeks ago and he said yes.  I guess I really only wanted the ride home, rather than having to take the train, is that so bad?  Yes, I guess it is.  I did want to spend some time with him to see if I actually like him or not too.  Oh well.  I'm just annoyed because he said he was going to come and now isn't.  I hate when people break plans.  That is one of my biggest pet peeves.  I wish I didn't have to go home, but I have a party to go to.

I need a good workout.  I hope good people show up tonight so we have fun in there.

Okay, why is Charro so skinny?  It's not really fair.  She has two kids, stick legs and stick arms, and probably has a flat stomach too.  It's just not fair.  I want to look like that.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I'm back in NY.  I don't understand why all of a sudden I can't post on AOL.  Now I have to use Google Chrome and it's annoying.  I like Chrome, but I want to just be able to go through my AOL.

I brought my Squish back in her little box.  I have to get a good picture of her to put on top because there is a built in frame.  I still feel so bad for my little guy.  I feel like he's so lonely and sad.  If only he could talk.

I had a dream about my cats the other night.  Maybe it was her coming back to me.  I really miss her.

I feel sort of fat right now.  I feel like I ate a lot today.  I did eat a lot today, that would be why I feel like I ate a lot.  I'm 100 percent sure that Charro is going to weigh my on Friday because we haven't had WIF since before I went on vacation.  I thought for sure she'd weigh me when I got back, but she didn't.  She's going to be gone on Fridays until August 2, so if she doesn't weigh me this week I will be completely shocked.  Blah.  I hate WIF.  I have to make sure I weigh enough because I don't want to get the lecture.  Here's how it goes:  "Ohhh, you've lost weight.  You have to gain...blah blah blah.  You have to gain up to 104 by the time I get back."  Okay, first of all it went from 102 to 104, which is totally not okay.  Second of all, that's totally not happening.

I'm trying to give my little guy lots of love.  He's all curled up next to me now.  His nose is really wet, I'm not sure why.

I think I'm getting carpel tunnel.  Not good!

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Okay, maybe it was an AOL problem because now it's working.

I just picked up my kitty's ashes.  :(  I need to print out a picture of her to put on the box.  I'm going to look through the pictures now.

I went for a run outside yesterday and then walked most of the way to Charro's.  She said that she didn't think I was "happy go lucky" which actually shocked me.  

I was going to write more but I don't know what to say, plus I'm at my parents and they're around so I don't want to write.

Anyone else having trouble posting? I can't write in the body of the post.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Inside or out?

I should be out running by now, but I slept late.  I got home really late last night.  It's already 81 degrees with a dew point of 71, so it feels like 85 out there.  I guess I could go to the gym and run, but that's so not fun to do because I'm stuck inside there all winter long.  I don't think I'd last very long if I ran outside though.  Not that I'd last very long running inside because it's boring.  Eh, I'll figure it out.

I sat in a car most of the day yesterday so my legs are stiff and tight, which makes it even more important that I run today.

Why are there such stupid shows on TV these days? 

I feel so bad when I leave my cat.  I feel like he's so lonely and misses his sister. :(

I need to get my butt in gear if I'm going to go workout outside.

Friday, July 05, 2013


It's so quiet in my apartment.  It's just quiet!!  I don't want to be back here.  I want to be back home and in my pool all weekend.  My little guy is sleeping.  I don't have my little girl here, meowing and sitting with me all of the time.  I should get her ashes back next week.  :(

I guess I'll just pick up my apartment tonight.  I don't have anything else going on.  I wish it was next week already.  I have nothing going on this weekend, which I would usually love, but for some reason I'm not so much loving that at the moment.

My finger hurts and I'm not sure why.  My doctor seems to think it's osteo-arthritis.  I don't think so.  I'm not that old.

Thursday, July 04, 2013

It's the 4th

I'm sad to have to go back to NY tomorrow morning.  It's going to be so gorgeous out, weatherwise and I will be baking in the city.  I would much rather be in the pool all weekend.  I have to teach on Saturday morning, although I'm sure no one will show up.

I think my cat wants to stay here.  He likes having a lot of places to run around.

I realized that I didn't really eat today because we had a picnic and I don't eat dogs or burgers, so that was that.  I'm a little hungry, but also a little tired so whatever.  I don't know what I want anyway.  I just had a yogurt, that's something.

I'm going to go hang with my parents.  Happy 4th of July.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Words that Charro likes

Apparently Charro likes the word "douche bag."  How do I know this, she told me.  I was talking about one of my friends, or ex friends rather, and she goes, "P. Sucks!"  Then I said something and then the word douche bag came out.  For the record, she said it, not me.

I brought  my little guy home with me yesterday so he wouldn't be sad and lonely in my apartment.  He sniffed every part of my house that my squish had been.  He spent extra time smelling my bed, where she was sleeping last week.  Very sad.

I have my moments of extreme sadness and then moments of being okay.  I miss her!

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

That was luck

I got so lucky this morning, Charro didn't weigh me.  Phew.  I gotta go now.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Shorts day

I didn't cry in my sesh with Charro today.  I didn't get there.  At one point I started to get a little teary eyed, but it never happened.  I see her again tomorrow morning.  I know she's going to weigh me.  She hasn't weighed me in a while and I'm sure she's thinking that I'm not eating...she's sort of right if she is thinking that.  Right now I'm hungry but will go to bed soon.  It's not really my fault, there's nothing here that I want to eat.  I guess it's maybe my fault a little.  Getting weighed tomorrow will not be good.  Again she told me that I'm not allowed to wear a belt on WIF, however tomorrow is Tuesday which means that it's not weigh in Friday (WIF) and therefore if I wear a belt, I'm not doing anything wrong.  (I know she means that I'm not allowed to wear a belt to this particular office at all, regardless of the day). 

Tomorrow is "wear short shorts so we can do some exposure therapy day."  Awesome.  I'll be squirming the whole time.

I told her that I wanted to get my cat stuffed.  I think she thinks I'm nuts.   I miss kissing that little kitty so much.

Rainy July 1

I went for a run yesterday morning.  It was actually good and I didn't mind running.  It was a good way to clear my head, or maybe not clear it, just not think, or maybe think...I don't even know.  I don't know if I was thinking or not thinking or just blanking.  It was good though. 

My other cat isn't eating much. :(  I wonder if he is just sad and misses his sister.

I see Charro today, which will be good.  I'd like to walk there but I'm not sure that the weather is going to cooperate.  It could pour at any moment.  I don't think I'll cry in there, but I don't know.  I really don't.  I was pretty good yesterday.