Friday, October 26, 2012

Yesterday Fun day and WIF. Blah

So, I didn't make it today.  I did not pass WIF.  Blah.  Lucky for me, Charro is giving me one more week, only because I had sent her an email on Tuesday, which she never responded too, and she feels like if she had responded things might have been different today.  Basically I have to be up 1.5 pounds by next Friday, which I don't really think is possible.  She told me that I have to eat 3000 calories a day, which is so not possible.  She said, in response to me saying "I'd be full," "If you were in house, they wouldn't care if you were full, they would just tell you to keep eating."  Well, I'm not "in house" so no one can tell me to "keep eating."

Blah, so yeah, I get another week and then I'm sure I'll be on a break.  Blah.  She said to me, "The reality is, you are at a low weight and you will continue to be at a low weight if you make this 1.5 effing pound weight gain."

So yesterday was FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)  I got to see my favorite singers up close and personal all day long.  Yay.  We chatted.  I gave one of them some cookie.  Good times.  The concert was awesome.  LOVE IT!!!

I went to dinner with some of the crew guys.  On our way there one of them goes, "it doesn't matter, you're just going to throw it up anyway."  Then another one goes, "Let me see your knuckles, are they all bloody?"  I said, "Nope, I don't puke."  They kept joking about it, so when we got back from dinner I said, "I'm going to the bathroom to throw up now."  They were sitting right outside the bathroom, because it was a single bathroom in the office and they could hear me peeing, so I was talking to them while I was peeing because that's awkward.  I was telling Charro this and told her they were joking.  She said, "People don't go around saying that to me."  She said, "This is really problematic, you're looking too gaunt."  I said, "I am not looking gaunt."  She said, "You look gaunt.  You'll look better."  She told me that I have to accept that my perception is off and their is a distortion in the way I see myself.

I'm tired but I'm going to get my butt out to run.  My hip is starting to burn again, but it doesn't hurt yet, so that's good, just the burning sensation.

So Charro said that she "knows I can do this" and that she "really cares about me" so she will be "cheering me on every day."  I said, "Subliminally?"  She said, "No, I'll send you an email everyday."  We'll see if that happens.  I think she'll forget.

So, we're supposed to get this stupid hurricane Sandy, but who knows what's going on.  It's going to screw up my week next week, that's for sure.  I just hope my family and friends at home will be okay.

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