Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Making Charro laugh, unintentionally

I kept saying to Charro, "What if I ate 10 thousand calories and I didn't gain any weight, would you still think that this wasn't what I was supposed to weigh?"  She kept saying, "Why don't you go inpatient and see what happens."  No thanks!!

Then I said, "If I was supposed to be at a higher weight, I would be at a higher weight."  She busted out laughing and hit her head on the lamp shade and said, "I like that one a lot.  That's a good one."  Well, at least I make her laugh.

There is no way I'm going to get out of this weight gaining thing.  I've contemplated going in on Friday and saying, "I'm not really doing anything to gain weight," and see what she has to say about that.  I guess I know what she'll say.  She'll say, "Then what are we doing here?  Do you want treatment for your eating disorder or do you not?"

She told me I have to start internalizing and figuring out why I don't want this ed in my life.  Well, I don't think it's a real problem so I can't really do that, I don't think.  I told her that I just have to get to a number to satisfy "her needs."  Lol.  She was like, "My needs, I don't think so."  I tried to tell her that eating more is not natural for me, but it's not sinking in.  I told her that I wished we could spend 72 hours together so she could see how I eat because I think she would change her mind.  She did acknowledge the improvements I've made.

Charro said, "Any therapist would tell you that you'd have to gain weight."  I said, "Kruger wouldn't."  Haha...Kruger...Oh Kruger.

It's cold in my house.

I'm getting a new cell phone so I'm doing research, which is just more confusing because I read peoples' reviews and they are all bad so then I don't want to get either of the phones that were suggested to me.

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