Sunday, September 09, 2012

It's not "restricting"

I woke up starving around 12:30 this morning.  I guess that's what I get for not eating dinner, but I wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat.  I don't consider it "restricting" at all.  If I was hungry, I would have eaten.  I know Charro would totally argue this with me on this because I think she thinks I'm either lying or I don't know my hunger cues.  In all honesty, I know when I'm hungry and when I'm not, but she just doesn't believe that.  I can understand why she would question me on that, because a lot of ED people deny that they are hungry, which I totally use to do, but now I eat when I'm hungry.  Maybe this is something to talk about with her tomorrow.  I always feel like she thinks I'm trying to argue with her.  If I tell her I didn't eat dinner on Saturday night she's going to jump right into the aggressive tone of, "PTC, what are you doing?  You're supposed to be gaining weight.  You have to eat even if you're not hungry.  Do you want to get better?"  Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have this conversation with her because I'm not going to get any answers and she's just going to get mad and then will probably make me keep a food log, which I desperately do not want to do.  Speaking of food logs, I'm very thankful that she has not told me to do that yet, this time around.

I have the Cheerios jingle.

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