Saturday, August 18, 2012

Charro dream and sesh stuff

Charro and I talked about how I have recurring dreams yesterday so it's kind of ironic that she was in my dream last night.  It was weird, usually when I wake up having a dream I can't go back to that dream, but this time, I kept waking up and the kept having the dream again.  I'm not really sure what the dream was about, all I know is that she was staying at my house with my family and me.  I don't know if people knew who she was or not.  I didn't really talk to her much because it seemed weird for me to do so.  I just remember that she came downstairs after taking a shower and I just looked at her and laughed because she was wearing jeans.  (In real life we have a joke about her wearing jeans).  She looked at me and said, "I'll be traveling home."  She sat down at the table and everyone just chatted.  She was talking about how she and her husband went to Oregon to pick out their car.  I was like "What?!  You went to Oregon?!"  She said she didn't like the SUV they go there.  I also noticed that she was wearing make-up, which I don't think she normally does.  She had lots of blue eye shadow on and powder on her face.  I just kept looking at her thinking, she never wears make-up and that's a lot of eye shadow. 

I remember her watching me as I took care of my sick grandma and helped her up off of a chair and took her to the bathroom.  I don't remember anything else.  It wasn't a very detailed dream, unlike most of my dreams.  I can't wait to tell her about it on Friday when I see her.  I wish I was going to see her on Monday but I'll be out of town once again.

Yesterday she said, "I am kind of worried about ya, I have to say.  This isn't like a good setup for resilience."
She didn't say that she wanted to see me cry but rather, "I think it would be fantastic if you actually expressed some feelings, if you cried.  If you expressed fear."  I told her that I wouldn't cry and that I wouldn't want to cry in there because then I'd have to walk home and my eyes would be all puffy and people would see me.  She goes, "Who gives a shit if people see you, you'll never see them again."  I give a shit.  No crying.  So that was that.

I am so bummed it's raining.  I was going to go rollerblading and for a bike ride.  :( I guess I'll go running instead.  I could go to the gym but I'll run outside in a bit.  I slept for almost 10 hours, which was lovely.

No comments: