Thursday, June 30, 2011

Some road trip pics

 Sedona
 Grand Canyon
 Heading into a storm in Missouri
 Longhorns
 Self explanatory
RV Park somewhere in Texas

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Now that takes talent

I managed to whack myself on the inside of my knee with my field hockey stick, not one, but twice.  This happened when I tried to do a reverse sweep (a pass), not once, but twice...and whiffed, not once, but twice...resulting in my hitting my knee not once, but twice.  Now that takes talent.  Clearly, if I had done that in college, I don't think I would have earned All- American honors, not once, but twice.  Okay, that "not once, but twice" was unnecessary, but I was on a roll with it so I went with it.

I am having NO LUCK with this cat pee.  The black light is showing nothing. I think it must be below the carpet, in the pad and on the floor.  NOT GOOD!  My poor parents dining room.  I bought more stuff to spray on it, but I don't think it will matter.

I saw my kindergarten teacher this morning.  The very first thing she said to me was a comment about my size/weight.  She said something about me being so tiny or skinny and said something about me weighing like 80 pounds or something.  Then she asked me how much I weighed.  I said, "I don't know." She said, "Well, I can tell you weigh less than 100."  It sometimes amazes me how people focus so much on body and weight when they see someone whom they haven't seen in a million years. 

I just got really tired so I have to go to bed.  The smell of cat pee is driving me insane too.

Dream anger

I had a dream that I was going to see Charro after her vacation.  We ran into each other on the way in to my sesh and walked in together.  I then sat down outside her office and waited for her to come get me.  She came out a few minutes later and when I walked in there was some other girl named Meg sitting there.  I was like, okay, I guess they're finishing up so I'll just sit here.  Well, that lasted 15 minutes into my sesh and then Meg just sat there and some other girl came in too.  I was like, wtf?  So then Meg looks at Charro and said, "I need you to walk me to my car."  I was like, really?  How old are we.  (Charro's office was on my college campus in the building I spent most of my time in).  Oh, I brought one of my cats in with me too.  Anyway, time ran out, I said nothing the entire time and she didn't say anything to me because she was doing her own thing and dealing with the other two girls who were invading my sesh.  Charro looks at me and goes, "Okay, time's up."  I looked at her and was enraged and yelled, "We got absolutely nothing accomplished!!  Are you fucking kidding me??!!  Sorry, I don't mean to yell but this is ridiculous and I am pissed off.  You know I'm not paying for this, right!?"  I was SO pissed.  I walked out of there and a few minutes later I realized that I forgot my cat.  I had to rush back because I was afraid she left for the night and he would be locked in there all night with no food or litter box.

I got back there and some other lady was in the office and she let me in.  There was a bunch of people food on the floor, including a burger with blue peas on it.  (weird).  I said, "I need to get my cat."  So I got him but I had nothing to carry him in and I was afraid he wouldn't make it across campus without escaping from my arms.  What a weird dream.

My house still smells like cat piss.  I am going to get a black light this morning, if I can find one.  I don't know who is using the dining room as a litter box, but it is NOT acceptable!!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Black light

I'm on a mission to find a black light.  Apparently shining a black light will help me pinpoint where my cat, or cats have peed.  It smells nice.  Yum.

My bikini top is hurting my neck.  I hate that.  Why don't they make them like bra straps anymore?

I'm going to make sauce because we're having spaghetti tonight.  My nephews are here and one will eat it with suace, the other without.  Picky kids.

I spent the day in the pool, which was quite nice.  I see this lady at my gym here and I think she might work in the ED field but I'm not sure if it's here or not.

I better get cooking.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I smell like a salad

I smell like salad dressing, which is not really a becoming smell, but I guess I could smell worse.  My dressing spilled all over the bag because my take home container opened.  I hate that.

My mom said that my face is "too skinny" and that I need to "fill it out."  I responded by saying, "I'm eating a lot."  My dad responded with, "You need to eat more fattening foods like pasta and bread."  Okay, first of all, those things aren't fattening.  Second of all, I do eat those things, but when I go out.  I don't like my sauce, or my mom's for that matter, though mine is better than hers.  Take me to an Italian restaurant any day and I will eat a ton of bread and pasta.  Yum.  Fettuccine arrabiatta.  My fave!

It would be wonderful if my cat doesn't wake me up at 4 AM again tomorrow.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

This story kills me

Well, it killed her.  Check this out.

Real realization

I think I touched on this a little yesterday, but last night, while I was laying in bed, I really realized that I really don't need to gain any weight.  It just hit me that it's not necessary.  Why should I be forced to shove thousands of calories down my throat in order to get to a certain number?  I don't think that's healthy.  I am definitely eating enough food right now and my weight is staying the same.  Clearly my body doesn't want to change and I don't think forcing more food down my throat is the answer.  Why should it be forced?  I don't think it should.  My body is healthy at the weight I am at.  It's functioning the way it's supposed to be, so there is no need to gain weight.  Charro is so not going to like hearing that I don't think I need to gain weight.  She's so fixated on this stupid number when neither of us know if I'm really supposed to be at that number.  It's all because of her stupid chart.

Charro was trying to tell me that I should go see a nutritionist while she's gone, but that's not going to happen.  If she said, "You have to go," I would go, but she didn't.  I don't think going would do any good. 

I just chipped my nail polish.

THE SUN IS OUT!!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Dyed

I am doing laundry.  I washed my new, maroon sheets.  They dyed all of my white stuff pink.  Socks, wash clothes, socks...all pink.  I have some other things being re-washed now, hopefully that will work.  Duh, I didn't give it any thought to the dye running onto my stuff.  Luckily I did not have anything good in there.  All my white Nike headbands are now pink though. :(  Hopefully bleach will fix that when I get home.
I really don't think I need to gain any weight.  First of all, I am not underweight.  People are not looking at me and thinking look at that girl, she looks anorexic.  That's not happening.  Also, I am eating plenty of food, and if my body doesn't want to gain weight then I don't need to gain weight.

I'm going home tomorrow for 4 days, let's see how much food my parents try to shove down my throat while I'm there. 

I'm doing laundry and I need to pack.  All I've been doing lately is packing and unpacking.  I don't enjoy sticking medicine up my butt every night, but life could be much worse so I won't complain about that.  I have a special toe talent, but I don't like to brag so I won't talk about it. :)  There are the weird facts about me.

I had the best gelato in CA.  I could have eaten the entire tub.  It was yummy.  Salted caramel.  Yum.  I must pack now.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Chicken tacos

I have leftover chicken from the other day.  I won't eat grilled chicken leftover because it starts to taste like chicken, which skeeves me out.  So, I decided to make tacos out of the chicken.  I just made it and it's not smelling great, so we'll see how it tastes.  Let's face it, I can't really make Mexican food like they do at restaurants.  It doesn't help that I have no lettuce, tomato or guac.  Those things definitely make it taste better.  I guess we'll see how it goes.

Are there "Cheerios" and then "Honey Nut Cheerios?"  I thought they were the same but I guess they are different flavors.  I used to love Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.  (I just saw a thing on the news about Cheerios, hence the questions).

This weather is crappy.  It's cold and rainy, it needs to be hot and sunny.  It's summer people!

My vet just called me to give me blood results for my buds.  I love my vet!!  She said things pretty much stayed the same, but he lost a few ounces, which could be from just peeing.  She said she went to a conference and thought of me because they have this new cathater type device for cats that can be implanted so I don't have to stick him every week with a needle.  She said she would love for my cat to be a test case for this and she's going to look into it some more and get back to me next week.

I'm going to take a spin class tonight.  I do not like this class, nor the instructor.  I work with this guy at school.  I don't think his class is all that great either, but two of my friends are taking it and I didn't want to go to the gym this morning, so I'm going to this class.  He always makes comments to me about my tension on the bike or whatever.  Listen here people, I do not like spin class and I do not put a lot of tension on the bike.  He does hills the entire time too, which I find annoying.  I like a mix of sprints and hills and he never does sprints.  Well, let's be honest, I don't really like anything about any spin classes, not just his, but it's 45 minutes, I don't have to think and I can just zone out and pedal.  He gets mad at me because I laugh in his class.  Last time he yelled at me for laughing.  I said, "I have to laugh or it wouldn't be any fun."  He doesn't like people to have fun.  Hello...people need to have fun in life!!!  I'm all about having fun and when I teach I make sure people are having fun or they wouldn't come back.  Here's the funny thing, my two friends think his class is "So good," but it really isn't.  I've taken much better/harder spin classes.  They like it so much because they both have the hots for him, which is also funny.  One of my friends had a little fling with him too, and still wants him.  I just want to be like, listen girls, his class isn't as good as you think it is.  Well, I guess if they like it and think it's good, that's all that matters.  Everyone is different.  It also doesn't help that I really don't enjoy spin class (have I said that before?). :) 

I had chocolate ice cream for dinner last night and it's sounding pretty good again right now.  Can we say PMSing much?  Tacos not sounding so good, chocolate ice cream that my friend gave me before she moved, sounding much better.  It's not too high in fat either, which is even better. 

Man, I feel so bad for these people in the mid-west getting all of this flooding.  It's awful.

I fed the homeless people in Santa Monica.  There are a lot of them, but I guess that's the place to be homeless.  My friend was getting rid of a box of protein bars that she didn't like.  She was going to throw them out but I took them and handed them out to the homeless instead.  They were very appreciative, which was nice.  I wish I could do more of that.

Okay, I guess I'll eat my stupid tacos now.  Maybe they will taste better than I expect them to.  I need some fixins, but there was no point in buying anything because I'm going back home on Sunday.  Yay, more kitty time.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Something more comprehensive

Charro wants me to keep a food log while she's gone.  I have to tell you that that is so not happening.  I can't think of anything more annoying and I can't do it.  I can not do that for over two weeks.  It just backfires anyway, and it's not because I don't want to eat because I don't want her to see what I'm eating, it's because I don't want to eat because I don't want to write it down.  That made no sense.  Example, if I'm walking out the door and grab 2 crackers because I want something, I won't get them because it's just annoying to write down.  I nibble a lot and it's annoying to count things and write them down all the time.  Maybe I'll write stuff down without times, that also annoys me.  I hate having to pay so much attention to things.  I just want to grab them and eat them and not have to write every morsel down.


So after being weighed she said that if I didn't gain the weight she would have to refer me to someone else and a more comprehensive team approach.  Well, if she does a "team approach" why can't she be involved in the "team?"


Again, let's face it, I don't need to gain weight and don't plan on gaining weight.  I'm eating and eating enough, maybe this is where my body wants to be.  She has no way of knowing what I'm supposed to weight.  People aren't always at the chart numbers.  I guess all of it just annoys me.


She told me that I have to eat bigger portions, snacks and watch my exercise.  Right.  She also said she would like me to see a dietitian but I don't really see a point in that either.  We've been through this conversation before, it's all so pointless.  I'm just going to get a brick for my next weigh in on July 13.


She wants me to do some writing while she's away, about what I'd talk about in our sesh.  I could see the point in that if I was going to give it to her to read after, but she won't want it, she would want me to talk about everything, which I hate doing.  I hate talking about things that are "old."  If it happened or I thought it two weeks ago, it doesn't matter anymore.  I might do some writing, we'll see.  I just want to not think for the next few weeks, which I think is quite possible.  It seems to have been that way in the past.  Maybe I should go see Kruger.  HAHAHA!  Oh Kruger.

I have the worst garlic breath right now.

It was SOOOO GOOD to see my cats.  Aww.  I love them.  I'm tired.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

WIW - Just as I expected

I had Charro weigh me during the first 20 minutes of our sesh.  I knew that would bring on a lot to talk about since I knew I was way below what she said I need to be.  She said I "lost a lot of weight."  Okay, I don't really think 3 pounds is "a lot" of weight, but whatevs.  I faced forward when she weighed me.  She said that I have to gain the weight by the time she comes back in 3 weeks.  Then she said that that was really fair because she would be away and I would be without therapy so she would give me a few weeks after her return to do it.  After that, she said, she would have to refer me to someone else and something more structured, or something, "structured" was not the word she used.

I knew this was going to happen.  I can't weigh myself down when I'm wearing very little clothing.  It's just not possible.  I would like to not have to lie to her, as well. 

There's more to this but I have to try and capture my cat to bring him to the vet.  It is SOOOO GOOOD to see my babies.  I think I have a full cat's worth of fur in my eyes and throat.  I love my babies.  They'll come back to NY with me in 2 weeks.

I have to listen to my sesh to know what else was said.  It wasn't good, but it was what I expected.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I want a prarie dog

I almost hit two of them while driving 85 mph on Route 66 in New Mexico or Arizona, don't remember where I was.  Don't worry, I swerved.  They are too cute!!  They look nothing like dogs, so I don't really get the name, I just know that I want one.

WIW is going to suck!!!!!  I don't know what else to say about that.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The trip, in a nutshell

I'm home.  It was nice to walk into my apartment.  It was sad to walk into an empty apartment with no kitty cats.  It was also sad to walk into my friend's apartment next door and know that she's not coming back to live there. :(

So, it was a long road trip.  It was fun and we saw some interesting places.  Sedona was my favorite, along with driving on parts of Route 66.  There was one part of Route 66 that was awful.  I have never been so scared in my life.  It was a narrow, windy road that went up a steep mountain.  It reminded me of what it must be like to drive up the Amalfi Coast.  I was driving and scared to death.  My feet were sweating and I thought we were going to go off the ledge.  It was awful.  It was probably 20-25 minutes to get up the mountain, but it felt like an eternity.  They should really put a sign that warns drivers of the conditions.  Thank God no other cars came down the road while I was going up.  The speed limit was 15 mph and I was going about 8 mph.  I can't stress how awful it was.

The Grand Canyon was pretty, but like I said, Sedona was my favorite.  California was nice, but too cold for me.  I went to the beach and started to take my shorts off only to realize that I failed to put on my bikini bottoms.  Good job!  At least I didn't take my shorts off.

I took the red-eye home last night and am exhausted.  I did manage to sleep most of the flight, but it wasn't a good sleep.  You can't really get comfortable when you have limited movement.

I saw Charro today.  She looked different to me for some reason.  I think her hair is blonder.  Her face looked thin.  She leaves on Thursday for Italy so I won't see her for over two weeks. 

I get to have WIW and it's not going to be good.  I lost weight while I was away, though I'm not quite sure how because I ate really well and ate a lot.  So, this will not be a good weigh in.  I'm not sure how I can rectify the situation.

I'm really thirsty.  I made some black cherry tea and put it on ice so I'm going to go enjoy that.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Leaving LA

I'm leaving California tonight.  It will be nice to get back home and get on a normal schedule.  It's pretty here, but way too cold for me.  What's up with that?  I'm going to go for a run on the beach this morning because I feel like a fat ass.  I can't stand it.  I got so out of shape in the past two weeks.

It's been cloudy every morning here.  The beach is so beautiful.  The water is ice cold so I don't know how there were people swimming in there.  Brr.  I'm going to be dead tired tomorrow.  I'll get home, shower and go see Charro.  I'll probably workout after I see her because I won't have time to before and I probably won't be functioning.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Did she forget?

I guess Charro forgot about me.  I woke up at 5:45 AM for my phone sesh, but she never called.  I didn't bother calling her because she usually doesn't have her cell on anyway.  Oh well, I guess I saved some money, but it kind of sucks too.

It's raining here.  What?  I thought it didn't rain here.  Thunder too...what is this?

Oops, she's calling.

She was having cell phone problems.

Day 5...here

I'm in love with Sedona, AZ.  It's so beautiful.  I could live there if there was an ocean within 10 miles. 

I'm in CA now.  I went for a run with I got here and then to dinner.  I'm heading to bed now.  I have a phone sesh at 6 AM with Charro.  That should be fun...the hour I mean.

I look like I'm going to give birth to a child.  What happened to my stomach and my abs?  Um, those need to come back ASAP.

Right now, it's bed time.  The Grand Canyon was cool too, but Sedona was better because I was in the rocks!!  I took over 500 pictures so far.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Driving, Day 2

Done.  Went through Joplin, Missouri which was sad.  I didn't see any damage because we didn't drive far into it.  I don't know how I am going to sit for 3 more days.  My body is so sick of sitting.  We start to see cool stuff tomorrow, so that's good.  I might start freaking out tomorrow.  I just looked up nutritional facts for McDonalds.  I had a cone from there today, which I knew was low-fat but I wanted to make sure.  I'm sticking with those babies.  I love them.  It was only 49 cents.  What!!!?  Love that.

Bed time.

Driving, Day 1

Day one of driving is over.  I did a few exercises with my resistant band in the car to help resolve my boredom.  It wasn't a calorie burning thing but a I need to wake up and not be bored thing.  No freak outs as of yet, but I can see one in the future.  We ran this morning but it wasn't enough.  I just need to move my legs.  Sitting cramped up in a car for so long is, well, not good for the body.  Oh yeah, we got lost running.

By the end of the day we will be in Oklahoma.  Hopefully we won't hit any bad weather.

I have a feeling that I may really start to freak out during day three in the car, if not sooner.  We shall see.

My hip hurts.  Shocking.  Not that it ever stopped hurting but now my actual hip hurts to touch.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll get an MRI when I get back.  We'll see.

Charro sent me a really good email the other day.  She called me out on some things, which I liked.  Well, she really only called me out on the weighing myself thing.  I like that she called me out.  I wish I was seeing her today so we could discuss the email she sent to me.   I'll talk to her on Friday.  We're having a phone sesh at 6 AM my time.  I'm sure I'll be wide awake for that.  Ha.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Go West

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for my trip across country.  I should be sleeping right now but I had some stuff to take care of.  I'm feeling pretty unorganized with my packing.  I have my medicines, which is the most important thing, I guess.  I am going to get my butt out of bed early so I can work out hard core before getting in the care.  I need to.

Wow, I don't like feeling so disorganized.

I listened to my sesh from yesterday and Charro sounded SO PISSED.  When I got off the scale and looked she said, "Why would you do that?  That's so lame."  Then she goes, like she was interupting me, but I don't think I was talking, "You know what, (my name), I'm not going to do this anymore."  It was in such a pissed off tone.  I was like, "Woah!" 

Okay, now I really need to finish packing.

Friday, June 10, 2011

WIF failure

I'm still exhausted and just want to go to sleep, but I have to go workout first.  I woke up for my sesh with Charro.  I got weighed.  I "lost weight."  I peaked when she said that and she got mad at me.  She said she's "not going to do this anymore."  I got excited and scared at the same time.  I first thought, oh great, she's not going to weigh me anymore.  Then I thought, Oh shit, she's not going to see me anymore because she's so pissed that I just looked.  She was not happy with me at all.  I think I just reacted to her saying, "You've lost weight" so I looked.  I said, "I only lost a pound."  She said, "You've lost more than that."  I said, "I'm wearing less clothes."  She didn't agree with that.  So she said that she's not going to do this anymore and from now on she's just going to have me face forward when I get weighed.  I promised her that I wouldn't look anymore and even shook on it.  I don't know why it's such a big deal, look, don't look, whatever.  I feel really badly that I pissed her off and now I won't see her for over a week.  Oh well.

My eyes are killing me.  I need to go to the gym now so I can take my contacts out.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Am I alive?

I just got back.  I have absolutely NO brain function right now.  I got no sleep down there.  We worked from 7 AM until 1 or 2 AM.  Last night I finished work at 10 PM (All of this was Central Time), went to the wrap party and then went out.  I literally fell asleep at the bar.  I wanted to go home SOOOO BADLY because I was so freaking tired but my friend who I was staying with was not really ready to leave.  It sucked.

So now I'm home and dead tired and hungry but have nothing here to eat and I'm too freaking tired to even contemplate food decisions and never mind cooking.  I have to go teach aerobics tonight too.  I just bit my tongue eating a yogurt, which is sort of funny since you don't chew when you eat yogurt.

So maybe I'll share stories about my night last night when I'm able to function.  I had to talk to Justin Beiber (EW) and Nicole Kidman, among some others.  JB's mom is not much older than I am, that's for sure. 

Done for now.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Shoot me now!

That's really all I have to say about this job.  I really have to have people remind me to NEVER do this again.  I say this every time I do this.  I mean it for real this time!!

My stomach hasn't been great since I've been here.  I haven't been eating well, but that's not really my fault.  We've had no meals and I've been at work for 15 hours.  I've had food, just not healthy meals.  I've been picking at nuts and crap and I don't think it's great.

A lady I am working with asked if I'm anorexic. I said yes, in a joking manner of course. 

Okay, I don't feel like writing anymore.  I did get to run, barely, this morning.  I have to be back at work in 7 hours and I haven't even left yet.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

One day almost down

I'm sleepy and it's only day one.  I'm just killing time right now.  I feel gross from sitting all day.  I just feel like I have to move because sitting hurts my back and I feel lazy and just am not fond of sitting all day.  Ugh.  I don't know when or if I'll get a chance to run.  I also don't know if I should run because of my hip.  I just need it to get back into place and then strengthen it in place so I don't screw it up even more and get my body strong with it out of alignment.

3 more days, I just have to keep telling myself that.  It's got nothing to do with anything other than working/staying with my beyond sloppy friend.  There's other stuff too relating to that, but not ED stuff is what I'm trying to say.

I still can't believe I'll be driving to California a week from today.  How the hell and I am going to sit that long?  Ugh.

Okay, we're going out to dinner soon and I'm not hungry.  I don't really think I've eaten that well today, but I haven't been hungry.  I guess that's good.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Road trip one

I sent Charro and email yesterday asking her why a number is so important to her, especially if I am eating well.  She sent me a very nice response back explaining it all to me.  This is why I love her.  She said that monitoring my weight is important for a while because the ED is very sneaky, and while I might think that I'm eating enough, I may not be.  She said that she trusts that I'm eating better, but I still need to be monitored.  Her actually email was much better than my summary of it. 

I am leaving in a bit.  I really don't feel like going to the airport and dealing with traveling right about now.  I'm not sure why, I just don't! 

My back/hip was killing me last night.  My friend is going to come pull my leg for me in a little bit.  Hopefully that will put everything back into place and I'll feel better.

It's not even 11 AM, but I'm hungry so I'm going to make lunch.  I'm going to feel so out of touch for the next 5 days.  I'll be busy, and hopefully running around a lot!  Hopefully, I won't be as busy as I've been in the past during this job because I would like to get more than 4 hours of sleep.

My rings are all turning around on me today and it's really annoying.  I thought my fingers were supposed to be fatter in the summer.  I haven't worn my rings in a while.  Maybe my fingers lost weight.  Ha!

Friday, June 03, 2011

WIF, I lost track of the number

Well, I didn't tell Charro that I don't weigh 103.  I stepped on the scale with my jean jacket on, which helped the situation.  My cell phone, keys, and wallet were all in my jacket so I'm sure that helped too.  I didn't try and deceive her, it's just what I had in my pockets.  I try not to carry a bag with me if I don't have to, so I shove everything in my pockets.

I'm leaving tomorrow for almost 5 days.  I don't think I'll get to work out at all because I'll be working so many hours.  I am bringing 2 pairs of workout clothes though, just in case something happens and I can work out.  I'm seeing a friend tomorrow, who I haven't seen in years. That will be fun. 

I really miss my kitties.  :(

I don't know how my eating is going to be down in TN because of work and the fact that I'll be very busy and might not be able to eat.  Charro is aware of this.  I've told her that I'm going to do my best and that I'm not going down there to lose weight.  I was being honest.  I'll literally be working from 7 AM until (hopefully not) midnight.  I hope I get out of there at 10 PM and am not there any later.  Ugh.

It's chilly out today.  So windy.

Ugh, I HATE packing.  I HATE unpacking even more and I have to do both two times over the next 2 weeks.  Yuck!  I guess I should do something.

Oh, I guess my weight was okay today because she didn't say anything to me.  She said she'd be "pissed" if I lost weight in Nashville.  Then she said, "Well, I won't be pissed, but..."

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Bird update

My dad said all the babies are gone.  I hope they didn't die.  I hope they didn't get eaten by something.  I hope the mom bird built another nest and took them somewhere else, but do they do that?  Poor baby birds.  This makes me very sad. :(  I want them to be okay but I will never know. :(  Poor birdies.

Baby birds and frog

I still haven't figured out what I'm going to to about getting weighed tomorrow.  I just wish I knew what to do.  If I didn't fear being fired none of this would matter.

I went to make a sandwich today and my bread was all moldy.  I just bought it.  Not happy about that one!





Here are the baby birds that were in my yard and the frog that I stepped on.  I screamed like a girl.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Oh, what to do?!

Where shall I start?  I saw Charro this morning.  Nothing exciting to report.  I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should tell her I don't weigh 103 or just keep playing it off.  She's eventually going to figure it out when she weighs me and I'm like 3-4 lbs less than that.  I want to avoid her thinking that I've lost weight, because I haven't...I never gained it to begin with.  She knows that I'm eating well, and so much better than I was before, so why should how much I weigh matter?  So, I'm thinking about telling her that I'm not 103 and hoping that she won't fire me because I am eating well and because I was honest with her.  On the other hand, what if she doesn't care that I'm eating better and still fires me because I'm not 103?  I don't know what to do.  I see her on Friday and then I don't see her again until the following Friday because I'm away.  Then I won't see her again for a whole week because I'm away again, then she goes away for almost 3 weeks.  I'm so torn by this whole situation.  I don't know what to do.  Being honest may mean getting fired, or she may say, "Well, you're eating much better so we can continue to work together."  Or, and this is what I think she would say, "I'm glad that you told me.  I know you're eating better but it's not enough.  You need to eat more and you need to gain the weight and until then, I can't continue to see you."  That's how I think it will go down.  I'm definitely eating much more and my body has pretty much stayed the same, so I'm doing what she asked of me, I think.  I don't know.

Finally went to the doc for my hip/back.  I don't have any idea what he said.  I think I have extra space in my socket and I'm really flexible which causes my hip problems.  He also said I probably have a slight tear.  Go back in three months if it's not better and if things get worse than have an MRI and surgery is always an option.  Well, no surgery, it's not that intense.  Oh yeah, and I have to sit with my feet down instead of my legs pulled in because that makes my hip screwed up.

My sister might be moving. :(  I don't know details.

I'm getting weighed this Friday and next.  Ew...WIF!  Then we'll have a WIW again.