Sunday, February 28, 2010
K, gotta run and teach class. I feel like I look worried.
Friday, February 26, 2010
First the day started with me not feeling so well. I almost cancelled my appointment with Charro. Note to self, do NOT eat 2 large salads in one day...and if you do, do NOT plan on leaving the house the next morning.
Got to Charro's and we had our sesh. The office situation is a mess. One more week in this office. I am going to make the super some treats and give them to him. :) Then we go to this other office, but that's temporary because the office she will be moving into, which is not in Kruger's suite like she was 98% sure it would be, is being renovated or something. GEEZ in a freaking box. What I know, and don't like, is that the office is on the 10th floor and that it's in a big suite. I like where I am now because it's a small place. Blah!! Freaking office changes.
From Charro's I hustled to the study, and was a bit later than I hoped in getting there because of the snow. (We had 18 inches, by the way. Pictures to come later). I got there and the woman was very nice. I apologized for being so late (10 minutes later than I had hoped to be), and she said, "I didn't think you were coming." (b/c of the weather). She was supposed to see someone at 1 PM, but I'm guessing the person cancelled because she thanked me for braving the storm and coming out. I filled out a LOT of papers for the first 75 minutes or so. Then she came in and we talked for an hour. I felt very comfortable with her. At one point I thought about how I just did NOT feel comfortable with Kruger and how I instantly connected with this woman.
So there were 2 random body image studies and she had to pick a random envelope. Lucky for me, I do NOT have to stare at myself in a mirror at all. I don't really remember what I have to do, I think just talk. I told her I suck at talking (this at the end) and she wanted to know if I thought she thought that I sucked at talking. I said, "you might." She said that I don't.
At one point I had to reference Charro and how she threatens to "fire" me, so I had to say "my therapist," something I have never said in my life. So I said to S. "I hate that word." She said, "What? Fire or therapist." I said "The sencond one." She asked why and then said, "you can try saying 'I have a therapist.'" I said, "No, that's ok, unless you REALLY want me to."
So I go back next Friday for more talking. There was a scale in there. I was nervous she was going to weigh my but she didn't. Thank God. Not that it would have mattered, except for the fact that I had a lot of clothes on and it would have been more.
Here's the best part...I left and went into the bathroom in the hall. It was a single handicap bathroom. Well, I couldn't get out. I was stuck in the freaking bathroom. Then, from the outside, I hear a voice that said "help?" (that's all I heard). Then I heard it again, "Do you need help?" (They probably thought I was a 90 year old handicap person and could hear me struggling with the door). I said, "Yes." Well, guess who opened the door? Yep, my S., my therapist lady. I was like "Do a lot of people get stuck in that bathroom or am I the only moron?" She said, "No, a couple of people have problems. And now I see how you talk badly about yourself." Then we both got in the elevator. Let's replay that: The bathroom rescue, and then having to get in the elevator with her. Only me. Really. It was funny.
Then I went to the park to take pics. Lots of downed trees. A man was killed yesterday when I big branch fell on his head. Sad.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Well, it's snowing...again. We're supposed to get 8-12 inches of snow and it's not supposed to stop until tomorrow night. Getting around tomorrow is going to be fun. Or should I say, rushing around, because that's what I'm going to be doing. I can't really run on icy/snowy sidewalks so that is going to hinder my getting to the study "just a few minutes late." I hope the lady isn't mad.
I can't wait to walk to the gym tonight. Lots of snow falling and 60 mph winds. That will be fun. I'm sure I won't blow away or anything. Awesome. It will make getting there harder, which will be good physically. It's all about the workout.
Little cat is sleeping my both of my arms and body right now. She's too cute. Ooops, she just lifted her head.
I NEED to go into the park and take pictures tomorrow. I will do that after my study, since I'll already be up that way.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I saw an old (sometimes) friend (when she isn't in her bipolar, let me not acknowledge your presence) at the gym today. (Has not been diagnosed as bipolar, as far as I know). Well the past few times I saw her at the gym she didn't say anything to me. Not even a smile. I know she saw me because she walked right by me while I was on a machine. This happens ALL the time with her and I totally don't take it personally because it's just how she is. Well today, we literally ran into each other in the locker room. We talked for a bit and then I went to work out. She came up on the machine near me when I was finishing up and she called me over. (At this point I had a tank top on. She saw me in my sweatshirt earlier.) She goes "Are you eating?" I said, "yes." She said "Are you sure because you look like you lost weight?" I said "yes, I'm just walking a lot." I'm sure she didn't buy it, but I don't care. She knows I see Charro so she asked if I was still seeing her. (Again, I haven't spoken to this woman in over a year). She asked me if it was going well and I said yes and that she just got back from maternity leave. We didn't talk further about it because there were people around us. So, that was it.
Okay, really feeling so fat and gross in this shirt!! I need it to stretch out, which is why I have it on still.
I am home alone in my house and our street is completely dark. It was kind of a little freaky when the power first went out because I'm all alone in my house. I don't think it's coming back on anytime soon. They say most power outages are restored within two hours, but I'm thinking this might take longer. I hope that's not the case because I don't want to freeze tonight while I'm sleeping. I might just go to bed right after I finish typing this because there's clearly nothing else to do.
The whole gas fireplace thing scares me, to be honest. I just have a fear that there will be a gas explosion and the whole house will blow.
Right before the power went out I attempted to sew my jeans. I apparently step on the left leg of them and they ripped. This is the second pair that it has happened to. So, I got out the sewing machine, which is scary in and of itself and tried to thread it and set it up and sew. Well, the jeans are a mess but I don't really care. I did it...sort of. My mom was impressed that I figured out how to work it.
What if I die of carbon monoxide poisoning or something tonight? No one will know because I won't get this posted before I go to bed unless the power comes on soon. I'm missing American Idol, by the way.
We are going to have nasty weather here for the next few days. Today was sleeting and raining and gross. I don't think it's doing anything but drizzling out now, so there's no reason for a power outage.
I am going to get blood drawn tomorrow, for my physical in 2 weeks.
Three more days until the study. My weight is acceptable for me right now, so if it stays this way until Friday, I'll be okay telling them what it is. They've already asked so I wonder if they will really ask again.
I can't floss my teeth because I can't see what I'm doing. I've already brushed them. I will wash my face in the dark and I guess I will just go to bed. Ugh, I will have no idea what time it is when I wake up because all my clocks will be messed up. That's annoying. Guess I'll have to keep my cell phone on tonight. I usually turn it off at night.
That's it. This post will make no sense by the time it actually gets posted but oh well. Maybe I'll just go to sleep on the couch for a little bit.
(Power came back after midnight...4 hours later)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Two seconds ago I was wide awake, wishing that I was tired because it's "past my bedtime." Wallah (not really sure how you spell that), I'm tired now. :) Yeah for sleeping. Now I can go to bed.
I have to say that I'm kind of trying to lose weight before I go to this study on Friday. I guess that's normal and bound to happen. I didn't say it was acceptable, but it's normal. I really can't wait to see what they're going to ask me and make me do and stuff. I'm quite curious. I've been googling the lady who I'm meeting with but can't find anything out about her. I want to know her credentials and stuff. I hate not knowing things. Scratch that, I REALLY hate not knowing things.
It's possible that we may get "measurable snowfall" Thursday into Friday. I actually kind of hope we do. I'd rather have that than rain. No rain please. I don't mind walking in snow, but no rain!!
I guess I'll go to bed, though now I'm really not tired. I want to weigh myself, but I won't. I did that enough today. Here's the difference, before I used to "HAVE" to weigh myself, now I just kind of want to don't feel all anxious when I don't, and wouldn't if I didn't.
Wait, I think I'm tired again. Time to floss and wash face. Already brushed.
I am not looking forward to standing outside in the cold all the time. That is the worst!!
I feel gross today, like I need to just eat veggies all my life. I kind of feel like I need to lose weight before I go to this study on Friday. We shall see what happens. I think they'll look at me and say "there's nothing wrong with you." It's not really an ED study, from what I gather, it's more like a body image study. I think my body image is pretty decent. Some days are bad but for the most part I don't think it's that bad.
So sick of hearing about Tiger Woods.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I had a little get together last night with some of my friends. It was a room full of accents. One of my friends is from England and the other from South Africa. I love accents. I made pizzas and they enjoyed them. One of the doughs was weird, but whatever. We played games and chatted. It was a good time.
Today is supposed to be really nice, 45 degrees and no wind. I might have to head to the park.
I ordered new eye glasses yesterday. I've had mine for over 10 years and they got a little bent out of shape. I went with a pair that I would never go with but got talked into. I have 30 days to change my mind, free of charge. :)
I am starting to think about this study I'm doing. I feel like I'm not disordered enough or thin enough or sick enough to be doing it. What if I get there and the lady thinks she doesn't look like she has an ED. Or what if, during all the questions I have to answer, I'm not disordered enough with my answers? Those are my concerns. I can discuss them with Charro on Friday, since it's right before I go for my first study sesh.
It's a balmy 34 degrees right now.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Anyway, so that changes happens on March 8th. Yuck, I hate change and she has been changing up a lot of things the past 3 weeks. She started right off with this one today because she knew that it would affect me. Good call on that!
As for the study that I am doing, I go next Friday right after Charro. I have to haul ass there because I'm supposed to be there at 11 and I don't get done with Charro until 10:45 and I have to go a pretty long way. It's all good. I'll run and get there fast. I told the lady I would be a few minutes late. She said the first sesh will be 1-2 hours long. Should be interesting. At least I will be in therapy mode.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I am sitting on the heater now. I love this spot, though it hurts my bum. Getting my hair done this afternoon and then heading back to NYC. Maybe I can fall asleep on the train. I hope the stupid train isn't too crowded. Hate that. It better be warm on there too. It's pretty cold sometimes.
There is no food in my house because no one is here. My dinner was pretty bad last night, but I don't want to spend money on food. I had some applesauce that I had made, just had to defrost it, and a mini bowl of dried cheerios. Dinner of champs. I was fine with it though because I didn't want to eat anyway so that was kind of my excuse to not have to eat. It happens.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
I thought it would be good if I weighed myself a million times tonight. Well, not a million, just three times in the matter of 2 minutes. I still have one more time left because I will weigh myself without any clothes on and see how awful it is. Blah!
I had a great day with my bro-in-law and nephews. The little one is eating some crackers and then we will both go to bed. I'm wiped...and not skinny enough. I'm going to stop calling myself "fat" because I don't like that word and because I know that I'm not overweight. I just don't look the way I want to look right now.
Did I really write 3 posts today? Geez in a box.
I need to go to the gym. I should run but I don't feel like it so I will probably just do the elliptical. I feel like I don't get a good enough workout from the stupid kind they have at my gym. My other gyms have the better ellipticals. I feel like I've been slacking with my workouts. Oh wait, that's probably because I was away for 8 days. I forgot about that. Duh.
My tan is starting to flake. It's very depressing. :(
I don't like my weight right now. The thing is, I shouldn't really care about it because it's still so not acceptable in Charro's eyes, or our "agreement" rather. Oh yeah...that agreement which I didn't really agree to. This weight would have been more than fine with me a few months ago, now it's not. It's not killing me or making me really obsessive, so that's a good thing.
I still have 3 more weeks until Charro comes back to twice a week. She pushed it back a week. This is the longest maternity leave in the history of man. (Besides you Canadians). 4 months off. That's a record.
I guess I should get ready to go to the gym. Blah. It's so fun and exciting. One of my friends just moved near me and I've convinced her to join my gym so I will have someone to work out with, which makes it so much more fun.
Why am I sooo sleepy? I could go back to bed.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I drank way too much tea.
Now I'll have to pee.
At least I'm not hungry.
Actually, I feel kind of pukey.
I should eat dinner
Because it's that time.
That won't make me thinner.
I needed something that rhymed.
I don't like the spacing in this post.
I turn my heat down at night so I don't roast.
This poem is stupid,
just like Valentine's Day and Cupid.
Maybe I'll eat.
I'm not too sure.
I'd rather just sleep.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
(I jump in) "Are you messing with me or are you being serious?" (I couldn't tell)
"I'm being serious. I think you're clear."
"Yes, I don't think your parents sound concerned. I don't know them, but from what you tell me they don't sound concerned. Concern is let's sit down and talk about this. What's going on? I don't know them, but it sounds to unbelievable to me that they wouldn't be having had read your blog and all that, but it sounds to me like they're not acting concerned so if we're going to look at their actions as markers of how they feel, then I don't see concern there."
So I was kind of shocked by Charro's response there. I honestly thought that she was messing with me. I think it's great if they're really not concerned but I can't believe she thinks I'm in the clear with them and that they aren't concerned. I really hope that's the case and they're not concerned.
So tonight I ate dinner at 4:30 and decided that I should be done eating for the day. I had some tea...lots of tea and am going to brush my teeth soon and hopefully go to bed early. I don't need any more food. I need less food.
I am watching speed skating.
Friday, February 12, 2010
It looks like I'll only go back to seeing Charro twice a week. Two weeks ago she gave me what would most likely be our new schedule and the only day she said she was "positive" she now can't do. What's up with that? I'm guessing that she just doesn't want to come in that early before her 9 AM meeting, or can't because of child care or something. It sucks. So it looks like I'll be going Monday and Friday. I'm not really happy with that schedule. I'd rather do like, Tuesday and Friday, or something, but it's not like I have a choice. I will miss going three times a week though. I feel like (right now), having to wait another week to see her is too long. I feel like my brain is spinning. She did say that she may have more time during the week, she's just not sure yet. I'm not too optimistic though.
Did I already say that I feel like I've gained a million pounds? I might have. I'm so tired and need to go to bed in a few minutes. I'm watching the opening ceremonies at the Olympics. I feel bad for teammates, etc, of the luge guy who died. Sad. Kind of a bittersweet night for them.
I need to empty the litter box.
I've realized that I've come a long way since I started this blog. Those of you (all two of you) who read it now might not know it, but if you've been reading from the beginning (yep, that's you Frida) then you can hopefully see that. Charro always tells me that it's okay to take two steps forward and one step back. Well, I think I take two steps forward and four steps back, but that's okay. I don't care all that much.
Okay, I'm really going to bed now. My glasses are all bent and I can't see out of the correctly. I need to get them fixed.
I am sure that post didn't even make any sense at all.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Bad news - My snowman is still standing.
I taught aerobics at 6:30 this morning. I'm sleepy now. My weight is where I like it. Does that mean I can go a few days without weighing myself?? I don't know. Maybe I will try. I just start to get a little freaked out by the thought of not weighing myself. Like I said before, when I'm on vacation, I can deal with it. It's weird. I mean, I used to not be able to deal with it, but now I can much better. I guess I'm just afraid it's going to go up so I always have to check it. Looking back, I have gotten much better. I don't weigh myself 50 times a day anymore. That's a good thing, I guess. I'll never be "normal," that's for sure.
I should lay out today so I can keep my tan. It's 36 degrees. I can open my door and lay on my floor. Hmmm.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I decided that I think it's weird that Kruger wore jeans to some of our sesh's. I don't have a problem with T's wearing jeans, but she doesn't seem like the type who would wear them. She's too proper and a "salad picker." Her personality (work-wise at least) does not fit that of someone who would wear jeans. Charro, on the hand, could totally pull off wearing jeans with her personality. She's not as analytical as Kruger, which is why I say that. She's more personable. She's worn jeans 2 or 3 times in 3 years and it is usually when she is "traveling." (flying).
I also realized that I could never eat with Kruger. If I had to eat something, let's just say french toast because that's what I was wanting the other day and that's what Charro will probably make me have for breakfast with her someday, I wouldn't be able to do it. I would feel like she would be looking at me and thinking I can't believe she's eating that. She shouldn't be eating that. She doesn't need that food. I know Charro wouldn't be thinking that but I think Kruger would be. Charro would be like, "Woo hoo, she's eating!!!"
I also realized why I like ED studies so much and why I want to partake in them. I like factual answers to things. That's why I like tests and stuff because I can see my results. I have them in front of me. Charro tells me several times a sesh that I have an E.D., but that doesn't really mean anything to me. If I took a test and the answers revealed that I have an E.D. then I would believe it more. Make sense?
Oh, the not weighing in Florida went well, but now that I'm home I want to weigh myself a lot again. I don't know if it's because I have a scale here or if it's because I'm back in my element. Hmmm...?? Don't know.
I had the most amazing view on NYC when I was landing. Flew right over the city and saw Times Square from the sky at night. Awesome, I have to say! Saw a race at Yonkers Race Track, and the jumbo screen was on at Yankee Stadium.
My weight is ok. I can't complain I guess, considering that I pretty much ate three meals every day. I didn't really gain any weight, maybe, at most one pound, but I guess that is okay because it puts me out of the "Charro would REALLY kill me" place.
Today I am going to the gym and unpacking and doing pretty much nothing because I'm sure none of my clients will be at work. If I had veggies I would make a soup. Maybe I'll make sauce or something. I don't have any food here. Oh wait, I never really have meals here anyway. :) It is a perfect day to cook, since I'm snowed in. I should have a "snowy dinner party." I don't know if anyone would come.
Okay, I guess I should get ready to head to the gym. I'm usually running at the beach at this point. So sad, no more palms and ocean waves. I did get some awesome grapefruit from my uncle's tree. YUM!
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
This morning my parents and I are going to breakfast and then heading to the beach for our morning workouts. :) They walk on the sidewalk, I run on the beach. My feet are nice and soft from the sand. I love it. I didn't go in the ocean at all, which makes me really sad. I should jump in today!
The only good thing about going home today is that I can weigh myself one day sooner. Well, the other good thing is that I get to see my babies!! They miss me! Back to the scale, if it is higher than 100 I might go a little crazy. I know I'll wake up at a good number if I'm at 100. I guess I should account for strange travel water/dehydration stuff so maybe I won't be too mad if it's higher than I want it to be. Okay, I'm done thinking about it.
My rents are still sleeping. Lazy bums!! I'm going to have an egg white omelette at breakfast and I don't want it at all. I would rather have something like french toast, but that's not going to happen. I am in the mood for something sweet, not salty. Oh well, too bad I have to go for the healthy option instead of what I really want.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Thinking about you, P-Dawg. Hey, I still want my bitchstick!! :)
I'm fat too. It's great. I actually felt like puking last night and I didn't even eat that much. Oh well, it happens.
I'm heading to the beach now to look for shells and then I'll head to another beach to lay out. I need to get some serious sun in the next 2 days. I hate going home and flaking and peeling.
Oh, so last night this lady I just met said, "You're so tiny. Is your sister the same way?" My mom said, "Well she's (my sister) smaller boned but she's taller. They're built differently." The lady says, "I can't believe she could be smaller than you." Nice, right. Then later on, possibly the same lady, I can't remember, says "Are you a health nut?" My mom chimes in with "yes, she teaches aerobics too." Can we just NOT talk about me please?!
My dad needs to finish his breakfast so I can get to the beach!
Sunday, February 07, 2010
I've officially hit the day 5 of vacation and I don't want to eat anymore. I am here for another 3 days and when I get back home I won't have to eat, and that's a good thing. I know I won't have to eat and I think that will help me (maybe) get through the next few days. I know I've gained weight and I can't wait to get it off. With that said, it has been nice having a break from my scale and not being such a slave to it. I don't know how I can prevent myself from going back there though.
I just want to shed the three pounds that I feel like I've gained. I want to weigh myself too. I am drinking lots of tea and water because I feel like that helps. I never really the whole fluid restriction thing. Makes no sense to me. That just makes you more hungry. Whatevs.
I am going to a superbowl party tonight. I won't stay long. I hate football and it's going to be all old people.
I need to run 47 miles.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Definitely feel like I've gained a bunch of weight at this point in time. I want to weigh myself. I want to burn a lot of calories and not have to eat. I want to feel skinny again. I don't right now.
I saw my uncles girlfriend this morning. We all meet at the beach and they walk and I run. She said, "Did you shrink?" I think she meant my height. Afterwards I was getting ready to rollerblade and I took my shirt off to wear my bikini top, and she said to my parents and uncle, "Look how skinny she is." It wasn't a concerned comment, just a comment. I'm not feeling so skinny, I'll tell ya that much.
I am so tired. Going to bed now.
Oh, and these weather people SUCK!!! They said it was going to be SUNNY all day and it was cloudy most of the day. Those F'ers!! I was going to go to the beach but just went to the pool instead. It will be too cold to go to the beach tomorrow. I need to go before I leave!!! There better be SUN the rest of the week. It's looking like rain my last day here. That is NOT good!
I'm still waiting for my parents to say something to me, besides my mom's mini comments that are stupid. Maybe they won't say anything because I'm eating a lot. Hopefully that will be the case.
I can see that it might be sunny at the beach. Hopefully it will be by the time we get there at 8:30. The sky is more clear towards the water right now. I need some sun baby. Oh, funny thing, I emailed Charro on Thursday to confirm our phone sesh for yesterday and I said, "I've got my blinker on...so far I have a nice red stripe going down my forehead." She emailed me back and said, "Glad you use blinkers before turning." Ha!! I thought that was pretty funny.
I must get ready for my beach run. I don't feel like getting dressed and brushing my teeth and moving. I keep waking up so early here. The trains are really loud.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Rollerbladed today and I love my new blades. It was a yucky day so I did not turn any corners. Supposed to be sunny tomorrow. I will lay out all day. :)
Had my phone sesh with Charro. It was fine. Now I'm going to bed.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
This morning I did an interval run on the beach. It was nice. I get my heart rate way up, which is awesome. It makes me feel better because I'm not working out for as long, but I'm working out harder than usual, which is all that matters.
I laid out all day. :) That makes me happy. My new rollerblades arrived and I can not wait to use them tomorrow. YAY! I will use them after my beach run and then rollerblade to somewhere where I can have my phone sesh with Charro. I feel like I got some sort of comment from my parents today, but I guess I didn't.
I was at the pool today and this lady, mind you they are all over 65, came over to talk to my mom. I was introduced to her. She kept saying that she wanted to adopt me and that I am so beautiful. Well, I hopped into the pool and I said, "Ooh, I can touch (the bottom)." She goes, "You're so small. You're like a little elf." Ha, which would be why I can't find a freaking pair of flats (shoes) anywhere! They don't make my size!! I did, however, score a pair of Reefs today for 25 bucks. They're the ones with the bottle openers on the bottom and they cost $46, but I found them in my size at TJs and I totally bought them. Well, actually my mom bought them for me. She loves me. I was just saying yesterday that I didn't think it was worth spending $45 dollars on them (never mind $46:), when my mom said that I needed new ones. I did say though that I did get 5 years out of them and that they are SO comfy so it might be worth the money. Well, I didn't have to spend the extra 20 so it was perfect.
Okay, I'm making sauce so I can make dinner for tomorrow. I am going to start a puzzle too.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Ran/walked/sprinted on the beach.
Put on my rollerblades to rollerblade home from the beach only to find out that they had broken since I last wore them.
Bought a new pair. Should arrive tomorrow.
Got burnt in some areas during my 4 hours at the pool. One being the lovely red stripe going from my forehead to my nose where I obviously missed my sunscreen. Random other red spots also exist, including my hands, which one has a white spot where I got some sunscreen, part of my back, some leg areas, etc. :) Nice.
Walked to TJ Maxx.
Made dinner for my rents. Went to Publix for the third time since arriving here. LOVE PUBLIX!
Made crepes for rents.
At dinner my mom says, "Your wrists look smaller than ever." Um, okay, what is that supposed to mean. On our walk to TJ Maxx I mentioned how my inner thighs were sore. I looked at them and they were bright red. I said, "I wonder if this is sunburn or from them rubbing together?" She said, "If they rub together that means your legs are chunky." Thanks mom. I forgot her exact words but those were pretty much them. Turns out that it's sunburn.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
My internet connection is not great right now. Hopefully it will get fixed tomorrow. My mom is having no problems with her 2 computers.
No sun today. Tomorrow there is supposed to be lots of sun. Run/rollerblade the beach tomorrow morning and then lay out all freaking day.
Got annoyed and yelled at my parents 5 hours after arriving. I guess it didn't take too long. I ate a lot tonight so hopefully they won't say anything to me.
I'm talking to Charro on Friday, I think. I'm going to bed in a few minutes since I've been up since 5 AM. I almost weighed myself at Publix but some man was standing right by the scale so I didn't want to weigh myself. I don't think he is going to care about my weight, I just hate people seeing me weigh myself.
It better be nice tomorrow or I will flip. I NEED to get tan and turn a freaking corner here people!!
K, bed time. Workouts start at 8:30 AM.
I actually did work today, since it was cloudy and rainy. Bossman doesn't even know I'm in Florida. :)
Monday, February 01, 2010
I'm tired. I haven't been sleeping well and I feel like I have a permanent hair ball in my throat. I'll take that feeling as long as it doesn't turn into anything else. I don't need to have a cold while in Florida! I won't get sick though.
I cleaned my apartment, did laundry, ate dinner, packed, have to double check my packing and then sleep. That's about it. I feel so bad for leaving my cats for 9 days. AWFUL. It makes me not want to go. I know, I'm such a crazy cat mom, but they are going to be so lonely. One of my friends might come hang out here because she just moved a few blocks away and doesn't have internet or TV yet, so I told her she could come hang out here.
I can't wait to go to sleep. I am so tired. As soon as I get into bed I am wide awake though. It's so annoying and I don't know what that is all about.
I still can't believe I failed the ED study test. I guess they want people totally starve themselves because when they asked me how many times a week I go more than 8 hours without eating, I answered "none." First he asked, "How many times a week do you skip two consecutive meals?" I said, "Um, it depends, what's your definition of a meal?" He then rephrased the question to the 8 hour thing above.
Shall I prep myself for my parents comments and questions yet? I don't want to. Can't I just pretend that none of it will happen and everyone will keep quiet? I wish.
The weather looks crappy for tomorrow. I am NOT happy about that at all. NOT AT ALL!! Wednesday it will be sunny. Thursday, cloudy! WTF. I NEED SUN PEOPLE!! Don't you know that I'm tanorexic!!!!??
I'm going to fall asleep in a second. I wish it was 9 PM so I could go to bed. I'd even go at 8 PM since I have to wake up early for my flight.