Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Stress didn't go away

I thought the stress would be gone after this whole procedure was over with.  Well, it's not.  Now I'm stressing about the whole medication situation.  First, the whole suppository thing just freaks me out.  I know I've said that already.  I'll obviously get used to doing it after I get past a few things and do it a few times.  It will become second nature.  Then there is the other med situation...cost and side effects.  Ugh!  I don't know what I'm going to do.

I woke up at 5:30 AM, so I'm clearing not sleeping well.

The whole not eating for over 40 hours messed with me a little.  I didn't think it would, but it did.  Last night, I found myself a little scared to eat.  Then, I got hungry a bit later and thought, well, I was hungry/starving on and off for the past two days and I survived.  I know I don't have to eat because I know I can get past feeling hungry.  Yep, not something Charro wants to hear, that's for sure.  She won't hear it, at least not for a few weeks, since she's home in Italy.  ("Home" in Italy.  I wish I could say Italy was my home.  So cool).

I think my cats really like being home, in my house.  They have so many more places to run around and hide and sleep in.  I think they are much less bored here.  Plus there are other people to distract them.  I think they really like coming home, minus the car ride.  They are NOT going to like going to the vet today though. More stress for everyone!

I got so many comments on my size at the hospital yesterday.  The anesthesiologist made some comments about how tiny I am.   The nurse did as well and couldn't find a gown that fit me.  Then, when I told my doctor that I "don't eat a lot of fat."  He said, "I can tell.  You don't have anything extra on you."  That was me trying to say that I have an ED.  Oh well, he didn't get it.

Oh, I started beeping too.  My heart rate dropped too low and I beeped.  They think it was because I was dehydrated so they pumped up the IV a bit.  My hand was FREEZING!!  My heart rate was 40 when the machine started beeping.


Lisa said...

oh god- a 40 heart rate is scary.I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry that you're still stressed- I know that things will get better for you. Give it some time- hang in there. I also HATE it when I'm trying to nonchalantly tell someone about my ED bc that might make a difference in whatever procedure it may be that is going on and they just don't catch on.

feel better soon babe

Eating Alone said...

That was a manipulative way of telling the doctor. If you had told him he might have done something different when your HR dropped so low.

That's what my shrink would have said. She said the ED voice will manipulate you all the time and she is right it does.

INS should cover the cost's (most of them) for the prescriptions. What kind of side effects?

PTC said...

Yeah, he definitely didn't catch on. Oh well, I tried. Charro won't like that I wasn't flat out honest with him. Oh well. She can call him and tell him.

David - he wasn't there, the nurse came to my aid. :)

hungry for hunger said...


make sure she calls him and tells him. if you're on a laxative and your heart rate is going low, your ED is an important part of your medical history. they need to know that dude.

that was a dick move on your mom's part, by the way.

PTC said...

Hey H4H,

I am not on a laxative, it's medication that I get to stick up my ass. My HR dropped when I was at the hospital b/c I was so dehydrated, they gave me more IV fluids and it went up.

Yes, it was a dick move!