Friday, February 12, 2010

Trying to stay off the scale

I'm the loser sitting home on a Friday night and about ready to go to bed. I feel like I've gained 30 pounds today and I want to weigh myself. I keep telling myself that nothing good will come out of it. I will either way "too much," which will most likely be the case, or I will go beyond my weighing myself once a day thing. I know once I start weighing myself more, I will keep weighing myself more. Let's be honest, I should get rid of my scale all together but that is NOT going to happen any time soon. Charro said I should just get rid of it, but please. Not happening.

It looks like I'll only go back to seeing Charro twice a week. Two weeks ago she gave me what would most likely be our new schedule and the only day she said she was "positive" she now can't do. What's up with that? I'm guessing that she just doesn't want to come in that early before her 9 AM meeting, or can't because of child care or something. It sucks. So it looks like I'll be going Monday and Friday. I'm not really happy with that schedule. I'd rather do like, Tuesday and Friday, or something, but it's not like I have a choice. I will miss going three times a week though. I feel like (right now), having to wait another week to see her is too long. I feel like my brain is spinning. She did say that she may have more time during the week, she's just not sure yet. I'm not too optimistic though.

Did I already say that I feel like I've gained a million pounds? I might have. I'm so tired and need to go to bed in a few minutes. I'm watching the opening ceremonies at the Olympics. I feel bad for teammates, etc, of the luge guy who died. Sad. Kind of a bittersweet night for them.


I need to empty the litter box.

I've realized that I've come a long way since I started this blog. Those of you (all two of you) who read it now might not know it, but if you've been reading from the beginning (yep, that's you Frida) then you can hopefully see that. Charro always tells me that it's okay to take two steps forward and one step back. Well, I think I take two steps forward and four steps back, but that's okay. I don't care all that much.

Okay, I'm really going to bed now. My glasses are all bent and I can't see out of the correctly. I need to get them fixed.

10 comments:

now.is.now said...

I still read, and although I didn't read at the beginning, I have read a lot of your archives and I also acknowledge you've come a long way.

Tiger said...

You've made a hell of a lot of progress in the past *gulp-dare i say it?* year that I've been reading.

PTC said...

Thanks girls. I just have to try and remember that myself sometimes.

With that said, I need to go run 200 miles because I don't like my weight. :)

Eliza said...

What would happen if you got rid of the scale do you think?

People have tried hiding it from me before, but I just ended up losing more weight faster because I was so paranoid that I was gaining!

Funny how things work...

PTC said...

Same thing happens with me when I can't weigh myself or the one time my scale was hid on me. I just was afraid to eat.

now.is.now said...

It's a nice little activity to give up your scale before your'e ready... but every time I did that, I just bought a new one...

Courtney said...

when my doctor asked me to bring in my scale for her to keep for a while, I told her I could go buy her a brand new one! :) I don't weigh myself much anymore but at one point if anyone ever took my scale or if I ever took my scale away I'd crack and get a new one pretty quickly. I completely understand how tough it can be.

Sorry about the new Charro schedule. :(

PTC said...

Well, I have an extra scale under my bed that is really old, so when my friend kidnapped my scale I just pulled out my old one. I still went on a hunger strike until I got "B-2" back though.

Jane said...

What about if you keep your scale in the linnen closet that you have to open every single time to access it? That's where mine is, and it works... out of sight out of mind. And when I do pull it out, I'm not even very happy about it because it never moves. I weigh the same each time. That would likely be the case for you. You never let yourself gain weight, you just fear you will. So maybe, just maybe, it will help with the fear factor.

PTC said...

That would be good, if I had a linen closet. :) I don't have much space here in my studio apt. :) I know what you mean by out of site out of mind though. You are totally right!