Sunday, February 21, 2010

Study concerns

I had a little get together last night with some of my friends. It was a room full of accents. One of my friends is from England and the other from South Africa. I love accents. I made pizzas and they enjoyed them. One of the doughs was weird, but whatever. We played games and chatted. It was a good time.

Today is supposed to be really nice, 45 degrees and no wind. I might have to head to the park.

I ordered new eye glasses yesterday. I've had mine for over 10 years and they got a little bent out of shape. I went with a pair that I would never go with but got talked into. I have 30 days to change my mind, free of charge. :)

I am starting to think about this study I'm doing. I feel like I'm not disordered enough or thin enough or sick enough to be doing it. What if I get there and the lady thinks she doesn't look like she has an ED. Or what if, during all the questions I have to answer, I'm not disordered enough with my answers? Those are my concerns. I can discuss them with Charro on Friday, since it's right before I go for my first study sesh.

It's a balmy 34 degrees right now.


Courtney said...

I think it's good that you are doing this study because maybe it'll prove to you that you do have an official eating disorder. It seems to matter a lot to you to officially have an eating disorder so maybe having more proof will help you out. I'm sure (really sure) you qualify and I'm pretty sure you know you qualify and I know that you need more evidence.

PTC said...

I think it's more of a body image study, but I will definitely know more on Friday.

I don't think I will ever think I have an eating disorder. Maybe if I was lying in a hospital bed at 70 pounds (which i do NOT want), then I might believe it. I'm not really sure how I can believe it.

Eliza said...

I prefer the term "disordered eating patterns" because eating disorder makes it sound like what you said... 70 pounds...lying in a hospital bed.

Can't wait to hear about this study!!

Courtney said...

I wonder if it matters if you think you have an eating disorder or not. I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here. I guess it's like we were talking about on labeling on Johanna's blog a while ago.

I have no problem labeling myself as a bulimic (especially in the last few days) but I'm the opposite as you (I think). I like it. Well, I don't LIKE it but I like being able to explain my behavior with a term. Does that make any sense?

(PS, let me know if it bugs you that I write so much on my comments, I don't need to do that- I won't have hurt feelings)

PTC said...

Eliza, I can understand that, but for me it would feel like I don't have a real problem.

Court, I like when you write "so much." I don't think it's a lot at all, so keep it coming.

I think it must matter to me to have a label. I think, and I don't really know, that for me to start to believe that there might be something wrong that I need to be labeled as anorexic, though for the general public, I don't want that label. I guess I just want it from the professionals. Does that make sense? It's not like I want others to know I might have an eating disorder.

Courtney said...

Does Charro think you are anorexic? I think I remember you once said your physician doesn't know about your ed. Maybe it would help if you told him/her. Maybe getting more people in on it would be helpful for you. I'm no expert or anything but I know I do like that people take my problem seriously. I was talking with Johanna yesterday about my bulimia and it was really great to have someone take me seriously.

PS I'm glad you don't mind me running my mouth off on your blog. :)

PTC said...

Keep on running your mouth! :)

I have a doctor's appt for a physical in a couple weeks but I don't plan on telling her anything. Last time I had a physical she was curious as to why my cholesterol was so high since I had lost weight. Didn't make sense to her.

Charro refers to me as anorexic all the time and she says "you're anorexic" or "your anorexia" or "that's because you have an eating disorder." She is the only person whom I'd want to take it seriously. I don't want friends or family too. I definitely don't.

Eating Alone said...

Don't buy into the whole "I'm not sick enough to be anorexic" that's a bogus thing come up with by the insurance companies to deny coverage. They want you near death before they agree to pay out any money.

Thank you david the conspicy nut ;D

I still think the test will be cool and they can get stuff from healthy people too. I still think it's going to be way cool!

PTC said...

Isn't that only if you have to go IP? I don't really know the logistics of that stuff.

Yeah, I get to stare at myself in a mirror for 4 hours. Sounds like a blast. ;) It will be interesting though. I wonder what questions they will ask me on Friday. Two hours worth of questions.

Courtney said...

Yeah, I'll be interested to hear about your study too.

I'm wondering what your doctor is thinking... That's weird. She/he must be kind of dense.

PTC said...

I don't think she's thinking anything. Although, I went to her about a month ago for a staph infection and she kept asking me "if anything else was going on." I said no. I don't think she thinks anything. I'm going for my blood work on Wed, so I'll get that when I go to the doc in 2 wks.

Eating Alone said...

Holy Crap! No way I could sit in front of a mirror for 2 hours. I'd go nuts! Well more nuts.

PTC said...

No no, i won't be in front of the mirror for two hours. That will be all talking and questions, I think.