Thursday, December 31, 2009

Snowy New Year's Eve

I'm honestly trying to figure out why people get so excited for New Year's. I really just don't get it. People get all excited for the year to change, but does it really matter? I don't think it does. It's just a different number we have to write on checks and stuff. I don't know, I just think it's weird that people start jumping up and down, kissing each other and blowing horns because the year changes. It's weird. I just don't get all of the hype and excitement. I should go on strike and not say "Happy New Year." When can you stop saying it to people? Like, is there a time limit?

I have to go to the gym this morning. Then I have to go to the store to get stuff to cook for tonight. I don't know what to make for dessert. I don't want to make anything. My kitties are fast asleep; one on my bed, the other under the Christmas tree in a shoe box. They love boxes! It's snowing and pretty, but supposed to change over to rain. Ew, they're cutting some sort of meat on Good Morning America.

K, guess I should get my ass off the couch, brush my teeth and get my workout on.

Happy and healthy new year to you all.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Charro's almost arrival and New Year's Eve

So, I thought of things I could actually talk to Kruger about (Charro related stuff) and now I won't see her. Ha! Of course that is what would happen. Maybe I'll call her. Just kidding!!

I'm excited to see Charro, but not at the same time. I cannot wait to tell her about Italy. I can't wait to share my experience with her and how great it was. She knew that I've wanted to go there forever and she knows (from emails) that I had a great time and she is so happy for me for that, but I want to be able to give her details of the trip. I LOVED IT.

It will also be nice to have her back because she knows me and I can just talk about things and not have to give huge background info, like I had to do with Kruger sometimes. It's kind of annoying to have to try and explain things, like my sister's situation, in 2 minutes. So, that will be nice to just be able to pick up with things.

What I'm not looking forward to is weight stuff. I don't know if she'll think I've lost weight or not. Really, it's only a pound and that will probably change before I see her next Friday. I wouldn't think she would notice because I'm pretty much the same as I was when she saw me last. Other people noticed, which is why I'm afraid she will notice. That's my fear. I don't think she'll ask me what I weigh on her first day back, but in case she does, I'm thinking I should stop weighing myself so I can say "I haven't weighed myself" to her. That's the best I've got. I guess I just don't want to deal with fighting with her about weight. I hate that. (Yes, I do know the alternative so be quiet!)

I have no idea what to make for New Year's Eve. I know I'm making veggie chili, but that's all I know. I don't even feel like cooking. I'm just having a few peeps over. I figured if I invited people over, I wouldn't have to go anywhere! :) Too cold and I don't like New Years!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So long "Salad Picker"

Today was my last day with Kruger. I walked in and said "Try and hold back your tears, but this is our last day together. Do you need a tissue?" She said, "No, do you?" I said "No!" She didn't really say anything too stupid today. She kind of grew on me a little bit...like mold or something. ;) I guess she's a nice person, and I started to see a little bit of personality come out, but I still think she kind of sucks at her job (with me). I definitely know she is not the right T for me, that's for sure. I just never felt really comfortable with her. I know I'd probably need more than 5 seshes to get comfy, but still, I knew right away with Charro that she was someone who I could work with.

I call her a "salad picker" because she looks like someone who just picks at salads and doesn't really eat. She's tall and thin. She had jeans on today and I noticed that her legs are pretty thin. Not gross thin, just thin. I've concluded that she has never had an ED because she knows nothing about them, so either she's just naturally skinny or she's a "salad picker."

I thanked her for seeing me on my way out and she said "Take good care." They all say "Take care." Charro says that in her messages and emails all the time. She also said "I know you're in good hands."

So, I'm off to Charro next Friday for 100 minutes. Woo hoo. I have lots to talk about with her...mainly my trip to Italy because she knew how important that trip was to me.

Oh, my stupid deductible went up another 500 dollars. That's 1000 bucks in 2 years. WTF?! So annoyed by that.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Stupid Insurance

I just checked my claims and my insurance did not cover Kruger. I'm hoping it's just a mistake because I went from seeing Charro to seeing Kruger and they are probably like "What?" So, I need to call first thing in the morning. It better be a mistake or I will be SO pissed. I called earlier but they were already closed for the day. I am calling at 8 AM and everything better work out or I will SO incredibly pissed for wasting my money on Kruger. That would suck ass. It should cover it, so I'm hoping they just screwed up.

Finally!!

I FINALLY found a pair of black boots that I like and that fit me. After my "boot incident" in Florence I have been obsessed with trying to find a pair similar to the ones I wanted to buy there. (I didn't buy them because I needed two 35's and they had a 35 and a 36 and couldn't find the other 35. I went back the next day and offered them 10 euro for the wrong sized boots but they wouldn't give them to me. It was a sad, sad day because I LOVED those boots and they don't make boots in my size in this country.)

I also bought a battery for my scale. It was saying "Lo" on it for a couple weeks so I finally got a new one. The number is the same as it was with the old battery, so that's promising as far as it's consistency goes.

The only food that appeals to me right now are clementines. I love them and they are soooo good and I am sick of all other food.

Hey David, last week's episode of The Closer was good. Now we have to wait until June for more :(.


Tomorrow is my last day with Kruger. I will tell her and she might cry. Ha!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Feisty Frida's Blog

Hey. The Feisty one wanted me to let you all know that she has closed her blog and "will start a new one" soon. If you want to touch base with her you can email her at feistyfrida1@yahoo.ca

Guess who I heard from?

I got an email from Charro today. I was so excited to get an email from her and to hear that she is coming back next Friday. Woo hoo. So, I will see her on January 8th for a double sesh. I can't wait to tell Kruger that this will be my last sesh with her. :) I know she will be saddened by that. Ha!!! She probably can't stand me, but that's okay because I can't say that she is my favorite person. I can't say that she is a bad human being, because I don't know her and I'm sure she's a very nice person, she just kind of sucks at her job when it comes to me. Maybe she's good with others, but she sucks with me. So, I am SOOO excited that Charro will be back. Yay. I don't really have anything bad to talk about with her but I have a LOT to talk to her about and tell, especially about my Italy trip.

In other news, I have had NO appetite for the past 4 or 5 days. I'm glad that I'm by myself now because now I don't have to eat. My parents dropped me off today. I went to teach aerobics but no one showed up (I figured that would happen) so I joined them at a diner and then we went about our day.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The day after

  1. Gym
  2. Must eat breakfast before the gym but I am not hungry. I can't go to the gym until I eat so I guess I need to have a little something soon. Not that my usual breakfast is more than a little something.
  3. Shower
  4. Walmart
  5. Grocery store
  6. Laundry
  7. Pack
  8. Maybe see my friend H.

That's it, I think. We're bringing my cats back tomorrow and we have to leave early because I have to teach a class at 10:30 AM. It always stresses me out to get the cats in their carriers. Ugh. They HATE it and know something's up. It's way more stressful than it should be.

I'm up a little over a pound since Thursday morning. It's okay. I'll either lose it or stay here and be okay. It's more okay with Charro and my rents if I don't lose it again, but it's not like I'd be trying.

K, I guess I'll have my "two bites" (My friends say that) of cereal now.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry F'n Christmas

I'm so done with family right now, it's not even funny. My dad's cousin is driving people insane. She is about 60 years old and kept asking me to put on MTV to see what was on. I flipped the channel to the guide and told her what was one (True Life). She wanted me to turn it on to watch it and I didn't want to because it's freaking Christmas and who wants to watch that show about someone dieting on Christmas. Please! Then she got all mad at me and was like "What is your problem. You don't cooperate with anyone." Then my dad chimed in and started yelling at both of us. I was like "It's Christmas, can't we watch a Christmas movie!!" UGH!!! I just want everyone to leave. My sister and her hole of a boyfriend haven't even gotten here yet.

I'm sure I'll be in an even better mood when I weigh myself tonight. I'm gonna love that. I'll be spending a lot of time at the gym tomorrow. That's for sure.

Anyway, I am now upstairs because after we all were fighting I said "Fine, I'll go upstairs!" so here I am. F everyone! Merry F'n Christmas.

Oh, I did get a Wii. Now I just need a Wii Fit so I can obsess about my weight some more.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas/Buon Natale

Hope you all have a nice Christmas. We're all done preparing. I will go to church at 5 PM for the Christmas pageant and then will come home to some company. My sis and her stupid boyfriend will be here. My mom insists I should give him a gift but I refuse. I don't deem that necessary at all!

I just realized that I lost a little silver hoop. I'm bummed. I never take these things out and now I have to try and find one that's the same size as the one I have.

I'm missing Italy big time. I LOVE it there and want to go back now.

I decided that I don't care if I gain a few pounds over the next few days. It's not a big deal and I "need" to anyway. Charro will be back soon. :) Yay! I should be hearing from her Monday or Tuesday. It will be good to have her back, though I don't even feel like I need to go anyway.

K, I need to go look for my earring. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL and to all a good night.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ananas

Ho mangiato troppo ananas. (I ate too much pineapple). Now I feel sick. We had those edible arrangements in the office and I ate way too much of the chocolate covered fruit and now I feel like I'm going to boot. Totally not ED related, just feel sick from it. I hadn't eaten lunch because I was out on the road all day. Yep, probably not a good excuse and I could hear what Charro would say to that, but it's kind of true.

I have a cat on my lap. I kicked her off of my bed at 5 AM because I heard her coughing and new she was going to puke. She did...on my floor at least.

My mom is making chicken for dinner. The thought of eating right now, after all of that fruit, is not too exciting to me. I have to eat in front of them though because, well, you know why. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I LOVE Christmas Eve. I have nothing to do but go to the gym, wrap a gift, go to church and then eat with family. That's about it. It's my favorite day of the year. I love sitting in the dark with all the Christmas lights on.

Here's a picture of the snow a little after sunrise. The trees were icy and pretty. It was 4 degrees when I woke up.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Another Kruger day

Kruger was pretty uneventful today. She always walks out to go to the bathroom before she sees me. Thank God I was NOT in there when she was in there. That would be so incredibly uncomfortable. I definitely would not be able to pee with her in there. I couldn't with Charro either and I feel comfortable with Charro.

So, I told Kruger I was worried about comments from my parents and other people. I told her about the recent ones from my dad and my dad's cousin. I told her the little story about my dad and he said "I don't believe you" when he asked how much I weigh. She goes "Did he think you were lying?" I said, "I was lying!" She goes "I was going to ask you that. So, have you lost weight recently?" I said, "Well, in the past few months, but not really recently. I lost weight since Charro left." That's about it. Then she wanted to know if I "restrict" because I'm always surrounded by so much food at home. I was like "Um, no."

I just feel really uncomfortable with her. As I was leaving she was like "I'll see you next Tuesday and then we have an appointment set up for the first Thursday in January." I go "We do?" Then she said "Oh, did we not set up an appt.?" I said "No, we were going to talk about it." She asked if I wanted to do that now and I said, "No." She asked if I wanted to come in January, the week before Charro comes back, and I said "I don't care." Ha! "I don't care." Nice answer, huh? I don't get anything out of seeing her.

So now I'm home and will be avoiding any possible food/weight confrontations with my family. I need to go shovel some snow. YAY!! :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Home for Christmas

I'm heading home tomorrow, after my appointment with Kruger. Maybe I'll stump here with some stuff tomorrow. I'm excited to be home with my cats but I'm not too excited about having 5 days with my parents, and then being in the car with them on Sunday morning when they drive me and the cats back. At least the cats will be a distraction. I worry that they're going to say things about my eating/weight. I fear that all the time, but I think I fear it more right now because I think that they think I look thinner. I don't know, I guess I lost like 2 pounds, but I lost that before I went away so I don't know. I don't want to see people I haven't seen in a while because they will notice my weight loss and it's uncomfortable. I know, you're all thinking "Well then, gain weight." I'm not trying to lose weight and I eat things that I want, so I'm not depriving myself of anything.

Okay, I am rambling and making no sense so I'll stop writing. I'm focused on other things and not writing, so I'll stop writing. I should hear from Charro next week. She said she'd call the last few weeks in December and I don't think I'll hear from her this week, so that leaves next week. She'll tell me when she's coming back. My guess is that it will be the second week in January. Should be interesting to see if she thinks I look thinner. She won't say if she does, but she might ask my weight. Who knows. I wish I could get inside her head.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Christmas Vacation

It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to get video to play through my DVD player. (Yes, I know that's a problem). I finally figured out that the VHS was playing and not the DVD. This, (Christmas Vacation), is one of my favorite movies. It cracks me up!! I quote it nonstop!

I just realized that I didn't have dinner. I guess it's not too late to eat, but I'm not really hungry so I won't. I did something today that I never have done before in my life. I was starving on my way to teach class so I stopped and got a bagel with low fat cream cheese. I ate half of it. The other half is in my fridge. It will probably take me two or three days to eat it, but whatever. I haven't had a bagel in years, minus the time Charro made me eat one.

I met a friend for brunch today, which is why I'm still not hungry. I guess I don't really need dinner.

Back to my movie
.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Unexpected nice day

I woke up early this morning to hop on the train to come back to NYC so I could teach class. I got on the train, half asleep and looking like a disaster, and I heard someone calling my name. I looked and it was my college field hockey coach's husband. So I sat with them. They were going into the city to see Billy Elliot. My coach and I chatted the whole ride, which was nice because I like her and I like hanging out with her. She was meeting her parents and siblings in the city and they were all supposed to go see the show. Well, her mom called to tell her that some people weren't coming because of the weather (we're getting a huge snow storm) or because they were sick. So, they had a few extra tickets so my coach invited me to come see the show with them.

I went to teach class, ran home and showered and walked very briskly to the theatre. I was sweating bullets by the time I got there. My coach was inside but I saw her parents, whom I've met several times before. They would sometimes come watch us play. We walked in and I went to the bathroom. I walk in and this woman was staring at me. She said "Are you from (my town)? And I said "Yes." She said "You worked at the gym. You wore your hair on top of your head." I said yes and she said "I don't go there anymore. What a small world." She doesn't know I moved. What a small world is right.

Watched Billy Elliot for the second time. It was as good as it was the first time, and then I cam back to my place. It's snowing so hard. I can't wait to take pictures tomorrow.

I have to say, I was worried that my coach was looking at me and thinking that I lost weight. She knew I had eating issues in college so I'm sure she noticed my weight. If others are commenting about it, and about my face, I'm sure she noticed. I kind of don't like that people are noticing. I don't know if she did, but I'm sure she did, knowing my history.

Wow, I literally can't keep my eyes open. Bed time. It's not even 9 PM yet.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Which do I believe?

I'm heading out to a Christmas party, but I thought I'd write a quick post. I just changed the batteries in Bertha and played Wii Fit. I don't think the Wii Fit is accurate when it comes to my weight, but if it is, then I am pretty underweight. I had to add 6 pounds to my weight and it still would not be acceptable if my parents clicked on my name to see my stats. Let's hope they don't, but at least I changed it and added 6 more pounds because they really would have freaked. I am pretty sure it's wrong anyway, so I'm not too concerned...maybe just a little. My other scales are higher. Bertha is about 3 pounds more and my scale at my apartment is about 1.5 lbs more. So, that's okay. I guess the big test will be when Charro gets back and she sees me. I'm not trying to lose weight and I don't really think I lost more than a couple pounds, but who knows. I think I do, and I think the Wii Fit is wrong.

I have no dress pants to wear because they're all too big. I get embarrassed wearing them because I'm afraid my parents or someone is going to say something to me. I am honestly so less obsessed with my weight right now and don't really ever think about. Plus, I eat pretty much what I want and don't work out as much. I am not eating enough, that's for sure, but I am not obsessing the way I used to. That is for sure! I do know I need to make a doctor's appointment so I can get my real weight to make sure I'm not like 94 pounds. I need to go for a physical, I've been putting it off until the first of the year for insurance purposes.

K, I gotta go.

A train wreck

I'm off to see Kruger this morning. I don't have anything to talk about and don't know how I'll waste 50 minutes. Maybe I'll just leave early or make something up to talk about, like the time I was attacked by killer mushrooms. (Ha, that would make sense if you read my post about her from last week). Why do I keep going you ask?? Because she is like a train wreck. I have to go back to see what kind of stupid things she will say or stupid questions she will ask. Seriously, she is just dumb. I wouldn't be going if my insurance wasn't covering it because there is no way I would blow my money on this. I am getting NOTHING out of it. At least Charro will be back in a month, though I don't have anything to talk to her about either. Oh well.

Stay tuned for some (hopefully) funny/dumb Kruger stories.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Weather report

This morning, the weatherman said "If you weigh under 100 pounds, strap some cinder blocks to your feet." Ha!! It was windy out.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Venezia...so beautiful


In the event of flooding, this is what people walk on. It flooded the day before we arrived and probably the day we left.







Firenze

Bridge view from Pontevecchio
Boboli Gardens
View from Boboli Gardens
Boboli
View from up top Boboli
Street
The Duomo
Cioccolato caldo
Gelato

Monday, December 14, 2009

Some favorites From Roma

View of St. Peter's Square from the top of the Basilica
St. Peter's Basilica

Stairs to get to the top of St. Peter's Basilica

Vatican

Homemade lasagna when we went to my friend's for dinner. She made me a special, meatless one.

The Collesium

My Collesium Cat

The Collesium
Trevi Fountain
Some building I don't know what it was

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Standing in the kitchen yesterday heating up some food...

"Think mom will mind if I eat this?" (Pizza she made and loves)
(Dad) "No, you need to eat. Are you losing weight again? Your face looks skinny."
"No."
"How much do you weigh?"
"100."
"I don't believe you."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A real post, maybe

Ciao. I'm still in my Italian mode. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I started writing about my trip, so I won't even start. I'll just say that I had an awesome time. I love it there. I ate meals, gelato, hot chocolate and pastries and didn't gain weight. I didn't work out though we walked a ton!! So, all was good. I actually wasn't eating that much because it was just meals, which weren't huge and one snack (gelato or hot chocolate) and that was it. The rest of the time we just walked. I did do some push ups and some abs and ran up any steps that we had to climb. The best part was when my friend's friend, who lives in Rome, brought us to her house for dinner. It was awesome. An authentic Italian meal, in an Italian house, with real Italians. Plus, they had donkeys, which rocks!!

So, I saw Kruger this morning. I didn't want to go because I knew she'd just piss me off. Well, she didn't piss me off because I took the on the attitude of her just being an idiot and me not caring what she has to say or the stupid questions that she asks. So, I will see her again because it's free and because it's just humorous at this point. Today she wanted to analyze why I don't like mushrooms. Really?? Um, I don't like them!! I don't like the spongy texture. Her response, "Does it remind you of something your past, is that why you don't like it??? WHAT? She's retarded. (When I say "retarded" I don't ever think of it as a mean term for mentally challenged folk. It's always meant "idiotic" to me). She's just an idiot, that's all. I can't stand her voice either. She wants to analyze EVERYTHING...the smallest things that are so stupid, like the mushrooms. I'll have more humorous stories from her next Thursday. Oh, she said that Charro's not coming back until the second week of January. Blah. Does that mean one more week with Kruger?? I think not!

A little bambino

I am so bored. I've been up since 5 AM. My bro is sleeping so I can't be loud and I can't type much. Just forgot to report that Charro had a baby boy last month. That's all for now.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Back in the States

I'm back. It was amazing. LONG day yesterday travelling. More today, just a little though, but busy because my family is coming and so is my bro and he is staying with me for 2 days. Hope you're all well. Oh, woke up to snow. Weird. Gotta go workout now.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Amore

I LOVE ITALY!! My computer is on the fritz. Sucks. This is all I can write. I LOVE IT HERE!!! Ciao!! Hope you're all well.