Thursday, July 16, 2009

Not much to say

I don't really have anything to say to Charro. Maybe I should go on vacation. Why can't I just talk? Why don't I know what to talk about?

My weight was too high this morning. I knew it would be. Blah.

I am taking my niece blueberry picking tomorrow. I will rush to the train after Charro, and hopefully not miss it like I did last time. Blah! I have some clients to see and then head to the office and then home to go picking. I'll pick up my new laptop at the office tomorrow. Woo hoo. It's cherry red. :)

That's all for now. Why can't I weigh myself more than once a day? I just want to know what I weigh. Does it really matter if I step on it a few more times?

12 comments:

now.is.now said...

Yes it does matter. And you don't need to understand why it matters; you just need to trust us and Charro when we say it matters. You need to just realize that your own judgment is wrong here (even if you don't see how it's wrong). Just do it because it's the right thing to do and because you are at a loss right now for what to do.

Do you remember how you spiraled recenlty into a small world of weigh obsession and misery? Remember how not fun that was? If your'e not remembering - go read your posts. You actually wrote those. That was you. You didn't make it up. That's how you felt. And that's what stepping on the scale too much got you.

This time won't be different. Don't cross your fingers, close your eyes and just hope that "this time" you can step on the scale multiple times a day and it will bring you peace. It would only bring you peace if it went down every time - and that's impossible. Even someone who is losing weight will not see the scale go down every time they step on it. So, stop wishing that you could step on the scale and make yourself lose weight by doing that and still maintain your inner peace. Because you can't. It's not possible.

Why do you want to step on the scale? So you know what you weigh. You already know - you stepped on it once a day already. So you want to weigh yourself again a few hours (or less) later so you know how to eat and how much to exercise? That's crazy talk. Do you think that people who lose weight do it by stepping on the scale a zillion times a day? Nope! Do you think their weight loss would happen faaster if they stepped on the scale more? Nope! Probably the opposite actually.

So, one - stepping on the scale more is not effective means to achieving your end of weight loss.

and two - it's not good for you. If oyu don't understand why, just settle with not understanding and follow our/charro's orders anyway.

MUCH LOVE MY FRIEND!!!!

PTC said...

That's exactly why I want to step on the scale, so I know what I can or cannot eat and how much I should work out.

I do remember when I was weighing myself a bunch a few weeks ago, but it was still less than 50 times a day, so that's something...well, maybe not.

I want to step on the scale b/c I didn't like the number this morning and I want to see if it went down any. I don't know why I just can't step on it. I need to know all the time what I weigh. I don't know how any of this will ever change.

sarah said...

do you understand the concept of water weight? my RD likes to remind me that my weight will fluctuate 3-5 pounds every day depending on a number of different factors ... main one is fluid fluctuation.
I hate this, but she then reminds me that I am not an inanimate object (she likes to use a lamp), and that my body is consistently changing. Therefore, exact weights are never exact ...

Anyway - stepping on the scale to determine what you can eat and how much to exercise is INSANE --- your weight at one minute does not determine that for you. That is 100 percent ED thinking.

You said you didn't know how any of this would ever change ...
Well - the only way it will ever change is for you to try something different. What would it be like to only weigh yourself once a day? THen every other day? Then once a week? ...
It is this issue alone that makes me think it would be a great idea for you to see an RD --- you may "know" how to eat logically, but they do more than teach that. That help you to balance diet, exercise and weight ... so that it is all in a healthy range.

Just a suggestion.
I see you doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results --- that is the definition of insanity. The only way to get different results and to get better is to try something different.

Did not mean for this to sound harsh, but I worry about you and I am tired for you when it comes to reading the same issues coming up. It doesn't have to be this way. Do you really want this all to change?

now.is.now said...

Assume you weigh the same all day long.

You feel okay about stepping on a bunch of times (anything more than once) because you're comparing it to a time that was super dsyfunctional. Well guess what? Anything less than "super dsyfunctional" is not "functional." So, 50x a day is "super dysfunctional" and 3 times a day is "still dysfunctional."

I used to do the same thing (or still do actually sometimes) with restriction. "Yeah, I cut back but not as much as I used to! So it's fine!" or "Yeah, I count calories, but I let myself eat more calories than I used to - so it's fine!"

It doesn't work that way. I know that for sure.

now.is.now said...

Just like to point out that someone else has now suggested a dietitian. Two against one! We win! :)

PTC said...

Yes, I do understand that concept, Sarah, but I still want to know. I was down to once a day and then I freaked out and it went up to like 5 times a day, sometimes more. I know it's not helpful but it makes me feel better (or worse).

Yes, I want to change all of this, but I don't want to gain any weight!! That's what scares me the most.

I know, Now! And no, you don't win yet. :) Not until Charro suggests it. :)

Did you get my emails??

lisalisa said...

I agree with NIN, it does matter! It's a big difference between stepping on once a day and five times. The goal should be a reduction in weigh-ins. You will never be free if you keep going backwards! Do you think you will ever get to a piont where you would be able to accept a possible modest weight gain in exchange for mental spititual and physical well being?

PTC said...

I would like to think that I will get to that point, Lisa. I hope...

now.is.now said...

Okay - I have a feeling that you need to now logically why not stepping on the scale will not cause you to gain weight before you're able to trust a little more and just let go.

Are you afraid that you'll become fat if you don't step on the scale more than once a day? Solution: it is not possible to experience real, irreversible weight gain in one day.

And what if the scale goes up and up and up and every day it goes up? This is what helps me with that: I have decided to only let myself worry if my weight goes up for 4 or 5 consequetive times (weighing myself once a week - so my 4 or 5 times would be equivalent to your 28 or 35 times). So, you can freak out - but only if the scale has shown that your weight is "out of control" 28 or 35 times in a row. And you're not who gets to decide what "out of control" is. Charro gets that decision.

Speaking of Charro - I'd like her phone number :) Um, I'm kind of serious.

PTC said...

I feel like i need to step on it because if I gain weight, even if it's not "real" weight, then I will know that I shouldn't really eat much.

You witnessed what happenes when it keeps going up. I FREAK out and start "restricting" (I hate that word). I don't think i really restrict, that's why I hate using it.

You gonna call charro?

lisalisa said...

I hope you get there, too :). And I believe you can do it!

PTC said...

Thanks, I'm not sure i do.