Thursday, March 19, 2009

What's the deal?

Yeh, I just deleted my entire post and I don't feel like writing it again. Seriously, so annoyed by that.

Here it is summarized...I weigh too much and I'm obsessing about food today because I have to eat dinner tonight at like 9:30. So, I will end up eating two dinners because I will eat before I work out and teach tonight. Though, I guess maybe yogurt doesn't count as a meal. To me it does.

I hate that I'm obsessing and I don't know why today I'm worried about not eating this now because I might have that later. It's weird. I don't know. I just know that I better wake up tomorrow and have my weight be back where it was yesterday because today it was too high. I guess, in the whole scheme of things, it doesn't really matter, but apparently it does to me.

I shouldn't care. I have two girls whom I coached who were just diagnosed with cancer. One is terminal and the other is the "good" leukemia. I feel horrible. It's so incredibly sad and life is not fair. Young people should not get sick. Mean people should get sick. I'm going to go visit them next week at the hospital. What can I bring them? One is a senior in high school and will hopefully go on to live a normal life after her treatments. The other is a sophomore in college and it kills me to think about the fact that she will never get to grow up and experience life. That her family will have a hole in their world. I'm going to pick up a Madlibs because they are near each other and can do that together, but I need to get some other stuff for them. Any ideas?? I need help with that. Something cheery and fun.

I'm also very saddened by Natasha Richardson's death. I think because it's such a freak thing and I get so many concussions that it freaks me out. I only saw one movie she was in, but it's so sad that her two kids are now motherless. Horrible things going on these days. So sad. This is when I really hate that I'm so vain and obsessed about my body. That makes me a horrible person.


Kara said...

It truly is a sad state of affairs when we care more about our size than the suffering of others, but with EDs, it happens.

PTC said...

I know. Oh, I care tremenously about those two girls, moreso than I do myself, but i know what you mean.

Zena said...

I am so sorry about your friends...Life is just unfair sometimes...hope you can take care of yourself durning this trying times.

love, Z

PTC said...

Thanks Z. How are you doing?

samegirl said...

that is so very can change on a dime..for any of us.