Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I was on Oprah

Well, in my dream I was on Oprah and Good Morning America. It was quite strange. I was on Oprah because she was doing a show on eating disorders and I was one of three girls that were her guests. I was the "restricter" on the panel. I don't remember her ever getting to me (I was the third one in line) to talk to. I remember thinking how I didn't want to talk, so that was good. Then I was on GMA and there were 4 or 5 of us on that show. Again, I was the "restricter." Again, I also remember thinking how I didn't want to have to talk. This time I was also worried that someone I knew was going to see my on there because it's a national show (Not like Oprah isn't, but for some reason I thought more people were watching GMA). So, Chris C. (one of the anchors) came over to me and asked me a question, I think it was off air, but I remember not wanting to answer it. I don't really remember what else happened. I remember talking to Diane S. too. I know I had some sort of feeling that dream, I just can't remember what it was.

My sesh with Charro flew by tonight. I taped it but you can't hear anything. I guess that didn't work all that well. Oh well, I tried. Nothing really to report. I really didn't want to talk about Friday, but we did. I still can't convey to her how grossed out I am by her seeing my fat picture.

I'm sleepy. Idol is on.

8 comments:

Kara said...

That's a funny dream. Does it make you think at all about it means to you to be labeled "the restrictor?" Are you proud of that label?

If the recorder doesn't work you could try taking notes doing sessions or write down things that were important right afterwards. Sometimes I do that.

PTC said...

I am listening to my sesh from tonight right now. Quality sucks. I need an external mic, which i have, but I'm not going to lug that around. That's nuts.

It might make me a little proud that I was labeled "the restrictor."

Jackie said...

I wish you could see that being the restricter shouldn't make you proud, but could possibly kill you :( I just think you are so in your eating disorder (i.e. the "fat" pictures) that I don't know if anyone can get through to you, even Charro. I worry about you all the time. (and I know I have shit to work on too so I am not just calling you out, I am calling myself out). I love you dearly and wish more than anything, that you could see yourself without the ED filter.

xoxo

PTC said...

The picture really is a fat picture. It's horrible. I wish you didn't worry about me. I worry about you and what you're doing to yourself. I know you're not calling me out on it and that you're just concerned and I wish that you could get better. I hate seeing people suffer.

xo

Jena said...

It is so awesome to finally read your blog again. I remember hearing about charro and the ups and downs of your progress. I felt like I really got to know you for awhile. You also said things to me that I needed to hear and I appreciated every word.

I don't know if you decided to make your profile public or if I just got in because my email address allowed me, since you enabled me before. I'm not really sure if you were fully aware, but I'm the long-lost "summer Jen".

I think it's so funny that we both dreamed about Oprah! I'm glad she didn't grill you on the spot. That would have really sucked.

Take care. Seeya later.
Jena

PTC said...

SJ, I had to make my blog private because of a bunch of crap that happened, and my parents were reading it too. So, that's the deal. Glad you're back though.

Jena said...

Oh Man! Your parents were reading your blog? That's nuts. That would send me over the edge... glad to know you're still ok!!!

PTC said...

Yeah, all this shit went down the first week in December. It was horrible. Some person made up that they were my friend and somehow emailed my mother, which I still can't figure out. I posted all the emails on here.