Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Eve

I love Christmas Eve more than Christmas. I love the lights, the music, and just sitting in the dark with the tree all lighted (why is it not lit?) up. English is stupid sometimes.

My throat still hurts. I went to the doctor yesterday and had a strep test. I'll know the results on Friday, though I'm sure I don't have strep. I got nervous when they weighed me. That was the first time that happened. I was worried when they had to move the bar. I was wearing jeans and a sweater too, so I know I weighed about 2 pounds less than what I weighed in at. The doctor didn't say anything to me though, which is good.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm not trying to lose weight. I don't think I am, at least. Maybe I am and I don't know it. I don't really know how this all works and how my mind works and what I am consciously aware of and what I'm not. I'm sure I'll put the weight back on in the next few days anyway, so I'm not that worried about. Will I freak out when I gain the weight back though? Yes, I think so. I don't know what to do. I know I need to talk to Charro about all of this, but how? My mind will have no idea what to talk about by the time next Friday rolls around either.

I feel like I should be helping my mom with something, but there's nothing to do.

It's weird having my sister's whole family staying here, given the situation. (They're getting divorced). I am siding with my brother-in-law right now. I get all fired up when I talk about my sister. I really can't stand her right now. We get along, but we're not talking about anything significant. I want to beat up (to say the least) the stupid loser she's having an affair with. (though she said nothing happened between them physically). I hate him and am NOT too fond of her. At least I can get my anger out when I talk to Charro about that all.

My bro-in-law is coming back to NY with me on Friday so we will have tons of time to talk. He's staying over and them catching a plane the next morning.

Hmm, I guess I should go do something. Maybe my throat will stop hurting someday soon. I have no appetite at this very moment either. Oh well.


Kara said...

I love Christmas eve too! There is a radio station here that has been playing Christmas music 24/7 since the beginning of December so I've been listening to that. I'm sorry that your throat has been hurting, I hope you can find out what's wrong. I hope you have a merry Christmas and Merry Christmas Eve!

Palmtreechick said...

Yeah, they start playing it here before Thanksgiving. It's nuts.