I slowly made it through dinner with Charro tonight. It wouldn't be so bad if I was hungry when we were actually eating, but I never am. She also made me eat twice as much as I would normally eat. I was/am full and I hate(d) it. I don't understand why I have to eat when I'm full? I don't get it and I don't like it. It took me about 40 minutes to eat my stupid baked ziti. We never discussed dessert so I was worried that she might just bring something. She didn't, so I was happy about that. She did say that she wanted some gelato and that she wishes she could find a way to get it and bring it in without it melting. Then she sort of thought she could do it and then wasn't so sure. Then she said "I wouldn't be opposed to having it for breakfast on a Friday. It's dairy." I said, "I don't think it would be open that early." She was like "yeah, you're right." Then she said we can have it at 6. I said, "I wouldn't be opposed to having it for dinner." She said, "That's the problem, it's not supposed to be a meal replacement." So why is it okay to have it for breakfast but not dinner??? I will have to ask her that question on Friday. Then she said "We should have muffins though." I told her that I don't like muffins and that I'm allergic to them, and she said "Everyone in your tribe says that." I like bran muffins but she said blueberry. Honestly, I was never really a huge blueberry muffin fan, I like other flavors much better. I don't think she'd let me have bran though. Whatever, I'm not going to push this breakfast to happen anytime soon. There's no way in hell I'm eating a whole muffin, that's for sure.
So, I still feel anxious about dinner though I know I didn't gain any weight from it (because I weighed myself when I got home). I hate being forced to eat when I am not hungry. I really hate it. I felt like I could have puked. I sometimes really wish I could just do it. I know how bad that sounds.
Geez, I just got really tired and need to go to bed.