Thursday, June 14, 2007

F'n fat!

UGH!!! I just got on the scale and it's the highest it's been in a long time. I'm fucking losing it and freaking out. What the fuck is this all about? I don't fucking get it. I ran fucking 12 miles this morning and I managed to gain 2 pounds. Someone please tell me how that happens. I can't fucking deal with this. I hate it. I am never eating again. I just don't understand. What is the problem here? Why I am getting fatter? I cannot fucking deal!! I so just want to throw up right now because I'm so disgusted with myself. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!???? I'm never fucking eating again. I don't care. I just don't get it. I guess I better learn to deal with fucking hunger and growling stomachs and get over it!!


Feisty Frida said...

It's water, trust me. Get off the fucking scale and start weighing yourself ONCE a week, and you'll notice you stay the same every week.

k said...

Can you start slowly and say, "for this hour, I won't weigh myself". Next hour, do the same thing. FF is 100% correct. Once a week will give u a true weight.

PalmTreeChick said...

I can't do it. I just need to not eat!

Sarah said...

It's definitely water. FF and k are right. I wish I could take their advice. I hope we both feel better in the morning.

Emily Jolie said...

Oh, love. I wish you could take a step back and realize those two pounds are nothing in the grand scheme of things! In the grand scheme of your life. Of your happiness. Of you being you. Nothing, babe.

I know how hard it is for you. I really know. But you're going to be okay. I can tell you that, because I have gone through it. I have gained a number of pounds (I don't know the number, because I don't weigh myself), but I know it's a number of pounds. That was my biggest nightmare. For years, I didn't let it happen. I threw up every time I ate too much and would have risked gaining weight, because I was so afraid of how that would affect my life. But now I am living that nightmare. And, you know what? It's not that bad! It really isn't! I'm still alive. I'm still me.

Does this mean I wouldn't rather be a few pounds lighter? Have a flatter tummy? Skinnier legs? Sure I would rather have that! But, in the grand scheme of things... this is so much more realistic! So much more healthy! So much less obsessive! ...that it's worth it. It really is, babe.

You're not even going to gain these two pounds for good. But even if you did. It wouldn't be the end of the world. You'll see that.

I love you, Palm!


Soledad said...

OMG Palm I hate it when that happens. I mean really you KNOW you aren't fat......but those two pounds can brak you for like a week. We have ALL been there my dear. I was doing some reading the other day about non ed weight loss and they were saying that after a certain point you just kind nag on to every water molecule in your body to keeo from dehydrating and dying.....I think you body is probably telling you something. The moral of this story is not to encourge you to drink less water....for the love don't do that.:) But don;'t thrown up or worry too much about those two pounds:)



PalmTreeChick said...

Thanks, Sarah.

EJ, that's what everyone tries to tell me. How come I don't believe any of you guys? Someday I will, I hope.

Hey Sole,

Don't worry about me drinking less water. I'm obsessed with being hydrated so all I do is drink water. That's not a problem. It's the only thing I drink, besides my decaf green tea. :)