Speaking of scary...I saw my legs in the mirror while I was at the gym today and I wanted to throw up. They are so disgustingly huge and I can’t stand it. I seriously don’t understand how people can think that I have nice legs and small legs. I don’t know what they are looking at. Yes, they are muscular, which I don’t like and everyone always says “you have such muscular legs.” Yeah people, that’s not really making me feel any better. If they were really defined it would be one thing, but they are huge freaking tree trunks. Ugh! I just want little skinny sticks like Martina has.
Then there are my fat arms. Gotta love those too! I need to start lifting weights more often…much more often, but every time I start I feel like my arms get bigger and then I completely freak out and stop. There is no happy medium for me.
I did weights for the first time in a while today. I went all out and my shoulder is fine so far. I actually sort of liked my shoulder definition. Of course my right are is more defined than my left so that really bugs me. I’m so anal and obsessive.
If I could drop 8-10 pounds it would be perfect. I’d probably be able to see my muscles, instead of seeing the layers of fat that keep them warm. Is that so much to ask for? I don’t know how I can do it though. If I completely starve myself I won’t be able to work out, but if I don’t, I won’t lose weight. Again, no happy medium. Grrr.
On a brighter note, it’s almost 70 degree out. Wooo Hoo! If only it were sunny enough for me to lay out.