Thursday, April 27, 2006
Yesterday, I made some "worms," "spaghetti," stars, rabbits, fish, lobsters, and numerous other objects out of Play-Doh. The boys particularly liked the "worms" of course. Afterall, boys will be boys.
While the act of playing with Play-Doh was fun, cleaning it up still is not thrilling. But, it still smells good.
I never ate Play-Doh as a kid, but you do hear the countless stories of those who do. I always wanted to because it smelled so good. Hey, who am I kidding, I still wonder what it tastes like. I guess I'll never be daring enough, or dumb enough, to find out.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
free from the muscles that make me heavy.
i workout obsessively, trying to get skinny
but i'm just getting bigger and it's not pretty.
burning 500 calories is not enough, 600's better, but still not acceptable.
700's a good day, 800's great, once there was 900, you'd think I'd lose weight.
then there's the food. oh what do i eat?
fruits and veggies fill up my plate.
then there's the protein to make it complete,
what the hell? why can't i lose weight?
the scale's my friend and also my enemy.
it's sits on the floor and says i'm a fatty.
i'd love to see the numbers read 92.
i'd love it if it did, on it's pretty background that's blue.
i'd even take 94 or 96, anything's better than what exists.
i want my bones to stick out and not have a gut,
my legs to be sticks and to get rid of my butt.
my arms are too big, my hips are too wide.
i wish i could look like martina mcbride.
i have an athlete's body, because i'm an athlete,
or at least i was back at my university.
so now i try to get rid of what i've got, become a waif and lose a lot.
i don't want to be sick, just thin enough.
get nice and skinny and like my all my stuff.
(i'm not a poet, nor do i claim to be)
Saturday, April 22, 2006
On top of my ass getting bigger, I am getting fatter all over too. That I don't quite get either. I'm not eating more, but I clearly need to eat less. That scale just keeps going up and up. I should just start sticking my finger down my throat after every meal, but that probably wouldn't be the best road to go down. So, I guess trying to starve myself will be the better route. (in a healthy way, of course).
I went to this workshop last month on how to create your life. It was a great seminar, but I am now wondering if I can think myself thin. Is life really mind over matter?? I just want to weigh 94 pounds. Hey, I'd even settle for 97 lbs. Is that so much (or little) to ask for??
I just need to get rid of the extra person that I'm carrying behind me and those pesky love handles and fat stomach and arms. I wouldn't mind getting rid of some of my leg muscles either. Too bad I'm obessed with working out and not completely obsessed with starving myself. I guess I'm some what of a failed anorexic. (I should probably be happy about that, but I'm not normal)
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Easter Sunday is almost over...Thank goodness. Not that I don't like the holiday, it's the overabundance of food that I can't stand. This was our Italian holiday feast:
Tostitos with a dip
Jello (it's always a fixture at our house on the holidays and I'm not sure why)
(I'm sure I'm missing something)
Italian Cream/Ricotta Pies
You think we had enough food? Here's the kicker...there were ONLY 6 PEOPLE eating!! Okay, there were a few others here for the appetizer, but only six were here for dinner.
Needless to say I am EXTREMELY FAT right now. I needed to lose weight before today, now I need to lose a whole person. Ugh. That is just the grossest feeling in the world. If I really dissect it, I didn't eat that much, but compared to what I normally eat, it was a feast! Now I feel like crap. All I had for dinner was a little veggie lasagna, 1 piece of a sweet potato and some asparagus. I did have some eggplant bread too. FAT!!
So now, the famine starts. Good thing I have to teach aerobics at 5:45 tomorrow morning. Start my day nice and early with a good workout and then workout until 7:30. I'd workout longer, but I have to be somewhere at 8:30. Oh well. I teach Tuesday and two classes on Wednesday, so that's a good thing.
Now I must go put my clothes in the dryer.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
I am fat and my left eye is twitching. No, that isn't the start of a really bad poem, but reality. My arm is also itchy and my knees (both of them) have turf burn and are kind of juicy with puss. A lovely visual, I know. I also need to ice my knee, but I will do that in a minute. I should really cut my nails too, now that I look at them.
I am going to make penne a la vodka in a few minutes. I've only attempted it one other time, so we'll see how it comes out.
So, I'm getting fatter by the minute. I can't really take it and don't quite get it. I've been eating veggies for dinner but it doesn't seem to make a difference. So, I freaked out a little bit last night, after I weighed myself. I just need to not eat for 5 days and maybe then I will feel better.
It really just drives me insane, even more than this damn eye twitch.
I need some chapstick!
I'm meeting up with some friends in the big apple tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it and need a good time out. We're going to a seminar and then all going out somewhere afterwards. Should be a good time. Let's hope it doesn't rain.
Anyway, I best get my butt into the kitchen. Toodles.
Monday, April 10, 2006
I've gained like 300 pounds the past few days and I'm not really sure what that's all about. I do know I can't take it. I've had veggies for dinner that past three nights, but that hasn't seemed to have helped the numbers drop at all. It sucks. I hate being fat. I would just like to waste away and be nice and boney.
On a brighter note, I started my ballroom dancing lessons tonight. I had a blast. I'm still fat though.
So, I guess I'll go weigh myself and then go to bed.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
I think penguins are cute. How come their feet don't get cold? I have socks on, but they're not my "shih tzu" socks that I wear all the time because I thought it was too warm to wear them. I was wrong.
I have somewhere to go in 20 minutes. My car is dirty but I didn't wash it because it's supposed to rain. How come the rain doesn't clean it?
I'm wearing a yellow sweater because it's my favorite color. I keep filling my large mug up with water and heating it up. Therefore, I pee a lot.
My feet are now warming up, but my tea is cooling off. I guess I'll have to take my tootsies off the heater and head to the microwave to re-heat my tea, which is getting more like water now.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Last night I went out to dinner with some of my friends. It was a nice, quiet gathering until I spilled a full glass of red wine all over my off-white sweater, jeans and in my face and hair. Okay, the non-drinker is the one that spills wine all over her. What's up with that?? So, of course it made a little bit of noise and everyone looked to see what the problem was. It was lovely.
We cleaned up the mess, and I proceeded to sit on my hands the rest of the night so I would not cause any more catastrophe's. After dinner I went home and changed my clothes, then went to the train station to pick up one of my friends. She was coming into town, and I wasn't supposed to see her, but I ended up picking her up, which was a nice little treat because she's funny and I like hanging out with her. So, it all worked out.
We then headed over to our friends house, where she was staying, and watched a little "What Not to Wear" marathon and chatted. Oh boy, what a show that was. I haven't missed anything by having not seen it before.
So we had a mini girls night, which was a blast. The company and conversation put me in a much better mood too. I was a little cranky when I picked up my friend...It had nothing to do with her, just was a yucky week for me. So, chillin' with the girls was a good thing. You've gotta love a girls' night out!!
(this color is on honor of the red wine that I spilled all over myself)