Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Nope, it's not a new scoring method used in the Olympics, or how much weight I want to lose...although it's pretty close. It was the temperature outside when I woke up this morning. That doesn't even include the windchill factor. BRR. Have I mentioned that I hate the cold!!

(Okay, so it's not exactly that cold out. I've experienced Colder days in my life)

The "Boug Factor," how fast it takes your inner nasal area to freeze, was a two. Two seconds until all those little hairs and mucussy snots freeze up!

She's got legs...

I bought these new, cool looking bic razors. Now, whenever I got to buy razors I examine them very carefully to see which ones I think will work the best. I know which ones I like, but I always try to find something of the same caliber that is a little cheaper.

So I see these vibrantly colored Bic razors and think...hmm, these look like they will do a nice job. Besides, they're pretty. So I get them and have had nothing but trouble. I can't get past the shin without at least one cut. The other day had four bloody drips coming from ONE leg. Now what's up with that?? It's not like I am the "Jason" of leg shaving.

Today was the last straw. Maybe it's my own fault, but I shaved over the same area which I had cut the other day. Within seconds the bloody stream was heading towards my foot. Now I see what those little square pieces of toilet paper that you'd see on your father's face when you were growing up are for. You know, that 1 centimeter by 1 centimeter square that you'd see stuck to your dad's face with that circle of red in it...And you always wondered (at least I did) why he would walk around with that tiny piece of 2-ply stuck to him...And how it would stay there...And was it really necessary to stop the bleeding? DING DING DING...Yep, all of those questions have been answered.

So why do we do it? I guess it beats the alternative...waxing!

Friday, February 24, 2006

The countdown is on...

9 Days til I leave for Florida!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Quotes of the day

I spent the past few days talking with a friend, discussing our jobs, our lives, and what will come of them. She's a wise young lady, and has gotten me to think a bit about life.

I stumbled across these quotes, and they seem to fit perfectly with the things we've been talking about.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-- Mark Twain

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
-- Henry David Thoreau

More from yesterday

I guess I started something yesterday when I wrote that post because more has come of it today. I was talking to this woman at the gym this morning and she told me I looked "smaller" and asked me if I had lost weight. I replied "no," which really isn't a lie. However, she is the second person to say something to me in the past few days. Which gets me wondering what these people are seeing.

I just find it very interesting that people are asking me if I have lost weight because I know I haven't. The scale does not lie!! There is one possible explanation for the questions and comments...and that's my workout. I have changed things up a bit over the past few months to try and get my body to a point where I might start to accept the way it looks. I've been lifting more often and doing more cardio. I have always done a lot of cardio but now I do even more. You may say I am a little obsessed, but if I don't get atleast 75-90 minutes of cardio in a day it wasn't "a good workout."

I usually go back to the gym in the afternoon once or twice a week to get my lifting in. I've been slacking a little on that though because I hate lifting. I do feel good after doing in though. I just have this fear that I am going to get "bigger" and that scares the hell out of me.

Okay, so I just had a little bit of an "outer body experience." I looked back and re-read what I have written and thought, "Is this me? Is this really my life? How did I get like this? Is this anyway to live?"

I drag myself to that damn gym every morning. I'm like a hamster on a wheel. Day in and day out. But, God forbid I miss a day, or don't do "enough." Then, what if my scale is higher than it should be? I spend my day, or days, weighing myself every two seconds until it is back to where it should be.

When will I be able to relax and not worry about what I am putting in my mouth, how many calories I've burned, how much I weigh or want to weigh, or whether or not I look "fat" in that outfit??? When will it end? Does it end? Do I really want it to end???

The End!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A picture's worth a thousand words...or is it?

It's kind of strange how we come to see ourselves differently from the way everyone else sees us. Not only that, but how come we can change the way we feel about ourselves within minutes? I've had days where I am "okay" with the way I look, then 10 minutes later I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and could practically vomit. It's weird. Not to mention the fact that it could ruin your whole day...or week.

There's this little anorexic girl that comes to my gym. Everyone always looks at her and makes comments about how sick she looks. Yet, I look at her and don't really see what they're seeing. Yes, she is very thin, and it's obvious that she has a problem. Yet, there is this part of me that wishes I could be that thin. That my bones would stick out. That I'd have the "perfect body" with long, skinny legs and six-pack abs. Oh how I long to rid myself of those love handles and my huge, muscular thighs which have been so incredibly kind to me throughout my athletic career.

Why? Why do I want to look that way? I don't want people thinking that I look sick. I just want to be skinny! But even I know, deep down in my logical mind, that there is no perfect number. No such thing as "thin enough." Sure, let me just get down to 92 lbs. Then what?? I can't start eating once I get there, then I'll be right back where I started. But wait, suddenly 92 lbs isn't "thin enough." How about 88lbs? Where does it end? The lower you get, the deeper you get. So why, when I know this, am I still striving for that "perfect weight?" I don't know if anyone will figure out the answer to that question.

When I look in the mirror I see what's really there. However, it's not what others claim to see when they look at me. Just once, I'd like to see "the truth." I obviously believe that the truth is what I am seeing already. Afterall, mirrors may "lie," but pictures don't.

Monday, February 20, 2006

What a weekend

I am still sleep deprived from my wonderful weekend in New York City. My friends and I hopped on the train Saturday. I did manage to get my 7 mile run in and pick up my jeans that were getting hemmed before we left.

The train ride was long, but whatever. We got to the city, grabbed a cab and headed to our hotel to drop our bags off. Then we met up with one of my friends, and a bunch of her friends, and took a belly dancing class. That was interesting, to say the least. Besides the fact that the room was the size of a shoebox, I kind of sucked at the whole belly dancing thing, but it was fun. I laughed at myself most of the time.

After dancing we grabbed a bite to eat, then walked around, then grabbed another bite to eat at this restaurant where dancing on the chair is encouraged. Needless to say, I LOVED that!!! Tambourine playing and chair dancing. Can the day get any better??

We then headed back to the hotel, "freshened up" and met one of our friends across the street at a bar for some pre-concert beverages. We hadn't seen her for a few years so it was nice to catch up.

It was now time for Martina at Radio City. The best singer at a great venue. Who can ask for anything more? (no, it's not a Toyota commercial). The concert rocked!! After the show we hung out at with some buds at a bar til about 2:30 AM and then went back to try and get some zzzzz's.

The three of us woke up just before 7 AM, having gotten about 3 hours of sleep. We were all pretty tired and loopy. We grabbed breakfast, walked around, then headed back to the train station.

This was the abbreviated version of our weekend, as not to bore you. Besides, you know what they say "what happens in NYC stays in NYC." Okay, so maybe they don't, but they do now!!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Broadway Bound

Okay, so I am not really "Broadway bound," but I am heading to the "Big Apple" for the weekend. It's gonna be cold, but it's gonna be a blast. Tomorrow my friend from here and I will hop on the train and meet up with one of my friends from Boston, who I haven't seen in a while. Once we get to the city we are going to partake in a little belly dancing class. I think I will spend most of the time laughing at myself than actually dancing. I don't think my body moves that way, but we'll find out. I hear it's a great workout. I'm really excited about trying it. After working our bellies, we are going to go feed them. After that, it's concert time. Martina McBride at Radio City. It's going to be an amazing show. I'll be pumped up all night. After the concert, who knows where the night will lead us. Afterall, it's the city that never sleeps.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

February 16th...nah

The calendar says February 16th, but my thermometer says 63 degrees. That only means one thing...time to put on the bikini, grab the baby oil, and plop a chair on the snow covered deck and work on the tan. So, that's just what I did. Fortunately, I was able to take my work outside with me.

So I went outside and it was absolutely beautiful out. I wasn't cold one bit, and even better, I got a little color too. It's never too early to start working on that tan, especially since I leave for Florida in 2 and a half weeks. Kind of hard to believe we had a blizzard on Sunday.

Okay, the bikini itself was not a pretty site on my pasty white beached whale body. But what the hell, no one was going to see me anyway. Let's just hope that there isn't anyone on the beach when I go there because I may blind them. Putting a bikini on is never something one looks forward too, especially in the dead of winter.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Nothing says lovin like a big fudge heart

I made this fudge and coconut heart for my Grandma for Valentine's Day. Eat up Grandma!!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Snowed in

The weekend is winding down, which is always a sad thing because that means it's time to go back to work. Yesterday I was supposed to go see Martina McBride in concert, but due to the impending blizzard I did not go. Now, for me to miss Martina, my favorite singer in the world, is a big thing. I am still bummed about it. :( Instead, I went to my friends house and we watched "Elizabethtown." Not a bad movie. It was a little slow to start, but ended nicely. I left before the roads got too bad, and drove about 10 miles per hour because I did not want anything to happen to my new car.

I woke up to about 8 inches of snow this morning. Went out and shoveled and was drenched with sweat by the time I was done. I got out there before the plowman came. It's always my goal to shovel the driveway before the man plows it because it's good exercise. I had to do it a total of 3 times today, the first was definitely the hardest though.

I also cleaned my room, got rid of some old clothes, got my bikinis out for my trip to Florida (that's never a pretty site) and took a little nap in front of the fire.

Now, I am getting ready to watch some of the Olympics.


Friday, February 10, 2006

Life is good!

My day started with my alarm going off, which is never a welcome thing, but I woke up to my favorite singer. I thought...hmm, it's gonna be a good day.

My day got better when I booked a cheap flight to Florida, booked a cheap rental car, and found out the gym right near where I am staying only costs 36 bucks for the week. Whoo hoo!! So, I will work out in the morning, go to the beach during the day, and do whatever the hell I please at night. What is better than that??

Then, I went to pick up my new car. Ahh, I love it! I am so over selling my old car now. So, that was my day in a nutshell. Didn't do much working but that's okay I guess. There's always Monday.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Parting can be such sweet sorrow.

I went to show someone my car today in hopes that they would buy it. It was pretty sad when I handed my keys over to the girl so she could test drive it. She and her father took it for a spin and when they came back they said "we'll take it."

My father had the brilliant idea of getting rid of it right then and there, but we had to bring it to their house because I needed my plates to get my new car tomorrow and ya can't drive a car without plates. So I had about 30 minutes to detach myself from my car. Now, I am not sure why we become so attached to our vehicles. I never thought I was the type, but it was kind of sad to get rid of a car I have had for 6 years. Not to mention the fact that it was a graduation gift from my parents when I finished grad school, so when I handed over the key I was a little verclemt (okay, that's a little bit of an exaggeration). When my parents gave me the car they had the key engraved with my school and graduation year, so it had some sentimental value to it.

So, I said goodbye to my car. (very sad indeed) Now I am left with no vehicle until tomorrow when I pick up my brand new car. I am sure the sadness will dissipate around 1 PM tomorrow when the dealer hands over the keys to my new car. Til then, I guess I'll have to rollerblade everywhere.

This color is in honor of my "old" car. It's not really this color, but I can't find an exact match so this will have to do.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Another Day, Another Dollar...Or More

It was a big day for me today. I guess I got a lot done. I went to the gym (not as long as I would have liked to, but I got 75 minutes in). I worked. I went to Target between appointments for work. That was probably a bad idea because I walked out of there wondering how I had spent so much money. It wasn't all for me though. Got Valentines for my niece and nephews and my parents. Got some essentials like saline solution, cat food and socks. Got some things I didn't need like 2 bikinis and a pair of pants for 6 dollars that I will probably end up returning because they are 80 inches too long. Then I went to my next appointment.

After that, I headed to the car dealership to buy a new car. Yeppers, my biggest purchase thus far in my life. I have to wait until Friday to pick it up though.

Then I came home and played with my nephews. I love them more than anything in the world. They will be 4 and 2 this spring and couldn't be any cuter. My little almost 2 yr old sat with me on the chair as I read him a book. He took my hand and pointed out the trains and elephants in the book with his cute little voice. The best thing in the world is to have a little bundle like that snuggle up next to you and be so incredibly cute. I sat there and savored the moment. Man, they are so cute!!!

After dinner I was called "selfish" by my mother. I laughed in hers and my father's faces as they yelled at me. What else is one to do?

I watched American Idol and realized how fortunate I am to live by the water. Afterall, the little cowboy, who had only sung to a chicken prior to the competition, had never seen the ocean before. It amazes me, but there are thousands of people out there that have never seen the ocean. It was eye opening because it's something we take for granted and don't think about.

I also did some laundry. That was my day. I can't wait to get my new car. :)

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Super Bowl Sunday

It's the "big day"... Super Bowl Sunday. Okay, so I could really care less about the game, or anything to do with "the big event." I am watching cheesy movies on TV like "Clueless" and "She's All That." Although, you have to admit that Freddy Prinze Jr is kinda cute. What else is there to do? I also played my drums for a while, cleaned my room, made some cookies, and emptied the dishwasher. Now if that doesn't scream excitement, I don't know what does.

I'm dreading the work week ahead. It's not like I have a very demanding job, but it's still a job. Why can't every day be Saturday?

I've been having this thing where I wake up in the middle of the night and have absolutely NO idea what day it is. I think it happens atleast 3 times a week. I don't know what's up with that. Oh well.

I'm actually getting a little tired, which is good. I don't mind hitting the sack early, since I have to get up at 6:15 to hit the gym. Same thing day in and day out. It doesn't get more exciting than that.

I guess I have nothing else to say. I steered clear of writing most of the week because whatever would have come out would have been nothing but nasty negativity. I was kind of in a bad mood all week. Tomorrow's another day so we'll see what happens.

That's all folks.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Since I'm in vacation mode...

Cruising the Caribbean St. Kitts

St. Maarten
I don't know why they are so small, but whatever.

I Need a Vacation

This is where I would really like to be right now. There's nothing better (to me) than sitting on a beautiful beach like this, pondering how the hell something could be this beautiful. That is paradise!

I found the perfect cruise to go on at the end of the month, but no one wants to/can go on it with me. I am so tempted to just say "screw the world," and go by myself. I am at the point right now where I am fed up with people anyway. I guess I've just been in a bad mood all week.

I am at the point in my life where I need to do things I want to do because I am not tied down to anything, except my job, but whatever. I just want to go away and soak up the sun in paradise for 7 days. Is that so much to ask for? For now, staring at that picture is going to have to do.