Thursday, April 27, 2006


I always loved the smell of Play-Doh when I was a kid. One of the great things about having a niece and nephews is that I get to relive my childhood days. Although, I tend to do that even without them.

Yesterday, I made some "worms," "spaghetti," stars, rabbits, fish, lobsters, and numerous other objects out of Play-Doh. The boys particularly liked the "worms" of course. Afterall, boys will be boys.

While the act of playing with Play-Doh was fun, cleaning it up still is not thrilling. But, it still smells good.

I never ate Play-Doh as a kid, but you do hear the countless stories of those who do. I always wanted to because it smelled so good. Hey, who am I kidding, I still wonder what it tastes like. I guess I'll never be daring enough, or dumb enough, to find out.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Ode to the athlete

the athlete in me wants to break free
free from the muscles that make me heavy.
i workout obsessively, trying to get skinny
but i'm just getting bigger and it's not pretty.

burning 500 calories is not enough, 600's better, but still not acceptable.
700's a good day, 800's great, once there was 900, you'd think I'd lose weight.

then there's the food. oh what do i eat?
fruits and veggies fill up my plate.
then there's the protein to make it complete,
what the hell? why can't i lose weight?

the scale's my friend and also my enemy.
it's sits on the floor and says i'm a fatty.
i'd love to see the numbers read 92.
i'd love it if it did, on it's pretty background that's blue.
i'd even take 94 or 96, anything's better than what exists.

i want my bones to stick out and not have a gut,
my legs to be sticks and to get rid of my butt.
my arms are too big, my hips are too wide.
i wish i could look like martina mcbride.

i have an athlete's body, because i'm an athlete,
or at least i was back at my university.
so now i try to get rid of what i've got, become a waif and lose a lot.
i don't want to be sick, just thin enough.
get nice and skinny and like my all my stuff.

(i'm not a poet, nor do i claim to be)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Mirror mirror on the wall...

I caught a glimpse of my ass in the mirror at the gym today. UGH!! That was a horrible site. It is all of a sudden ten times bigger than it was. It looks like a big bubble. I don't know what the hell the deal is, but I can't take it. Maybe I need to stop working out. Who wants a big ass bubble butt?? Not me. Maybe it's been my lack of running and my more elliptical use, thanks to my stupid knee. Regardless of how my knee feels, I will be hitting the treadmill much more often now. I must, I must, I must decrease my butt!!

On top of my ass getting bigger, I am getting fatter all over too. That I don't quite get either. I'm not eating more, but I clearly need to eat less. That scale just keeps going up and up. I should just start sticking my finger down my throat after every meal, but that probably wouldn't be the best road to go down. So, I guess trying to starve myself will be the better route. (in a healthy way, of course).

I went to this workshop last month on how to create your life. It was a great seminar, but I am now wondering if I can think myself thin. Is life really mind over matter?? I just want to weigh 94 pounds. Hey, I'd even settle for 97 lbs. Is that so much (or little) to ask for??

I just need to get rid of the extra person that I'm carrying behind me and those pesky love handles and fat stomach and arms. I wouldn't mind getting rid of some of my leg muscles either. Too bad I'm obessed with working out and not completely obsessed with starving myself. I guess I'm some what of a failed anorexic.
(I should probably be happy about that, but I'm not normal)

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter

Easter Sunday is almost over...Thank goodness. Not that I don't like the holiday, it's the overabundance of food that I can't stand. This was our Italian holiday feast:


Rice Balls
Stuffed Breads
Tostitos with a dip


Veggi Lasagna
Sweet Potatoes
Jello (it's always a fixture at our house on the holidays and I'm not sure why)
(I'm sure I'm missing something)

After Dinner



Italian Cream/Ricotta Pies

You think we had enough food? Here's the kicker...there were ONLY 6 PEOPLE eating!! Okay, there were a few others here for the appetizer, but only six were here for dinner.

Needless to say I am EXTREMELY FAT right now. I needed to lose weight before today, now I need to lose a whole person. Ugh. That is just the grossest feeling in the world. If I really dissect it, I didn't eat that much, but compared to what I normally eat, it was a feast! Now I feel like crap. All I had for dinner was a little veggie lasagna, 1 piece of a sweet potato and some asparagus. I did have some eggplant bread too. FAT!!

So now, the famine starts. Good thing I have to teach aerobics at 5:45 tomorrow morning. Start my day nice and early with a good workout and then workout until 7:30. I'd workout longer, but I have to be somewhere at 8:30. Oh well. I teach Tuesday and two classes on Wednesday, so that's a good thing.

Now I must go put my clothes in the dryer.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Ahh, Freak Out...

Yes, that is a bad 70's song, I know!

I am fat and my left eye is twitching. No, that isn't the start of a really bad poem, but reality. My arm is also itchy and my knees (both of them) have turf burn and are kind of juicy with puss. A lovely visual, I know. I also need to ice my knee, but I will do that in a minute. I should really cut my nails too, now that I look at them.

I am going to make penne a la vodka in a few minutes. I've only attempted it one other time, so we'll see how it comes out.

So, I'm getting fatter by the minute. I can't really take it and don't quite get it. I've been eating veggies for dinner but it doesn't seem to make a difference. So, I freaked out a little bit last night, after I weighed myself. I just need to not eat for 5 days and maybe then I will feel better.
It really just drives me insane, even more than this damn eye twitch.

I need some chapstick!

I'm meeting up with some friends in the big apple tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it and need a good time out. We're going to a seminar and then all going out somewhere afterwards. Should be a good time. Let's hope it doesn't rain.

Anyway, I best get my butt into the kitchen. Toodles.

Monday, April 10, 2006


I'm fat and my knee hurts. I really need to run tomorrow but I'm not sure if that's going to happen. I tried today, but ended up having to go do the elliptical because of my tendinitis. Ugh. I have a feeling it's not going to feel any better tomorrow because it hurts to straighten my leg now. This could pose a problem.

I've gained like 300 pounds the past few days and I'm not really sure what that's all about. I do know I can't take it. I've had veggies for dinner that past three nights, but that hasn't seemed to have helped the numbers drop at all. It sucks. I hate being fat. I would just like to waste away and be nice and boney.

On a brighter note, I started my ballroom dancing lessons tonight. I had a blast. I'm still fat though.

So, I guess I'll go weigh myself and then go to bed.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Monday, April 03, 2006

Cold footed tea drinker

My feet are cold and I'm drinking tea. I just put them on the heating vent because the heat kicked on. It's supposed to rain later, but it's sunny now. The wind is whipping and it's 54.4 degrees out.

I think penguins are cute. How come their feet don't get cold? I have socks on, but they're not my "shih tzu" socks that I wear all the time because I thought it was too warm to wear them. I was wrong.

I have somewhere to go in 20 minutes. My car is dirty but I didn't wash it because it's supposed to rain. How come the rain doesn't clean it?

I'm wearing a yellow sweater because it's my favorite color. I keep filling my large mug up with water and heating it up. Therefore, I pee a lot.

My feet are now warming up, but my tea is cooling off. I guess I'll have to take my tootsies off the heater and head to the microwave to re-heat my tea, which is getting more like water now.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Red red wine

I just played my drums for a bit and now my ears are ringing because I didn't put my earplugs in. Now I am sitting here icing my tendinitis ridden knee while I write this pointless post. My friends keep calling me, trying to convince me into meeting them at some Hibatchi restaurant, but I am sitting here nice and content in my pjs.

Last night I went out to dinner with some of my friends. It was a nice, quiet gathering until I spilled a full glass of red wine all over my off-white sweater, jeans and in my face and hair. Okay, the non-drinker is the one that spills wine all over her. What's up with that?? So, of course it made a little bit of noise and everyone looked to see what the problem was. It was lovely.

We cleaned up the mess, and I proceeded to sit on my hands the rest of the night so I would not cause any more catastrophe's. After dinner I went home and changed my clothes, then went to the train station to pick up one of my friends. She was coming into town, and I wasn't supposed to see her, but I ended up picking her up, which was a nice little treat because she's funny and I like hanging out with her. So, it all worked out.

We then headed over to our friends house, where she was staying, and watched a little "What Not to Wear" marathon and chatted. Oh boy, what a show that was. I haven't missed anything by having not seen it before.

So we had a mini girls night, which was a blast. The company and conversation put me in a much better mood too. I was a little cranky when I picked up my friend...It had nothing to do with her, just was a yucky week for me. So, chillin' with the girls was a good thing. You've gotta love a girls' night out!!

(this color is on honor of the red wine that I spilled all over myself)